Hello, As the title of my post implies, I feel as I've been raised from the dead. I'm writing this just before hitting the halfway point of my 90 day reboot. For years now I've felt as nothing more than a ghost. I could see everyone living their lives around me, experiencing joy, happiness, and success. However, I could never interact with them or feel what they feel. Indeed, the effects of a 20 year PMO binge can't be articulated properly with a few paragraphs. I've lived with a warped state of mind that's left nothing but broken relationships, missed opportunities, and self negligence. When I passed the age of 30 and found myself more and more isolated, I doubled down on my addiction. My life was mediocre at best and I was drowning in my own bitterness. This is the longest streak that I've been able to manage (44 days). I'm alive again, feeling the full range of human emotions. Like many of you here can attest, this transformation doesn't come easily. I've had to face personal demons that I've suppressed for two decades. I've pulled off the reconquest of my life, the undoing of the 3 deficiencies mentioned above. I can go in to further detail in subsequent posts but would rather keep this intro short. For those of you who in your teens and twenties, stay the course! Don't look back like me and realize that you've wasted so many years. I wish this forum and subreddit existed back then.
Welcome back from the dead my friend So good to hear about your resurrection and welcome to NoFap Keep coming back and keep posting.
Congrats on your achievements. Our addiction makes us settle for a mediocre life. It puts a wet blanket on everything and makes it hard to muster up the energy to do anything worthwhile. Once we get control of our problems then there is an incredible feeling of freedom that we experience which we haven't felt in a very long time. I wish you success and look forward to seeing your success story once you hit your 90 days.
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you. The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
I have an arsenal of strategies for combating urges. There are those commonly used in this forum (exercise, cold showers, keeping busy, etc). Sometimes, those methods aren't quite effective and the desire to relapse persists. In that case, I have to reach back to the "failed relationships" part of my OP. I pull up old messages or objects that I keep around from my ex-girlfriends or just ex-friends. I kept those around because they serve as a reminder of my past warped state of mind. The painful memories that those bring only strengthens my resolve to continue my transformation. These force me to replay where, why, and how I fell short. Some might not consider this healthy but believe me, its VERY effective.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that 90 days is not going to be enough. I have an addictive personality and I know that even one fap after that time period will bring me back. I have no choice but to abstain from this for life. Perhaps I'll make it well into the triple digits like you.
Agree my friend. Rather than thinking of it as abstaining I think of it as living in recovery. That way we're not running from something negative, but moving towards something positive.
