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Looking To Start Anew

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by iamjackswastedlife, Jul 9, 2014.

  1. Jul 9, 2014 #1
    iamjackswastedlife

    iamjackswastedlife New Fapstronaut

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    Hello all. 30yr old male looking to free himself from these PMO chains that bind. The 1st part, admitting there was a problem, was tough. It's been quite some time since I've been in a relationship. There were a few interesting women but those instances just never seemed to go anywhere. Looking back, all the signs of awkward social interaction with women was apparent after my last relationship. I never truly felt like myself and just recently on a date I couldn't find myself motivated to take the situation any further. It just felt like I was along for the ride and moving through the motions, which in hindsight feels pretty pathetic. Not quite sure how it all snow balled into it's current state, but nonetheless, here I am. I realized the issue a week ago, when I had been on a binge and wasn't taking care of some things at home. I started reading up on several sites on info to help break the addiction. The most important messages I've seen is 1) Keep yourself busy and 2) Identify your triggers so that you can learn from them and avoid them. Coincidentally, I have been very busy for the past 3 weeks. I've started to get myself back into shape. Using that wasted time spent in front of the computer and making use of it. Also, getting things done around the house helped a ton. I just busted (no pun intended) that 3 week streak, tonight. I know I can stop this thing but today's urge was just so strong. A stupid ad on a site that was in no where near inappropriate totally got to me. Instead of going out to exercise I ended up in front of the computer. I'm recommitting myself to the goal of 30 days. I'm going to try very hard and spend more time exercising and getting in shape. I'm hoping to find an accountability partner here as well that I can find words of encouragement in when those urges crop up. It takes stones to come on here and type all this, so I have tons of respect for everyone on this site. Thanks in advance for being awesome guys.
     
    iamjackswastedlife, Jul 9, 2014
    iamjackswastedlife, Jul 9, 2014
    #1
  2. Jul 9, 2014 #2
    FormerSkeptic

    FormerSkeptic Fapstronaut

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    I know you thise things that are nowhere near inappropriate can get you. I feel embarrased about my behavour last night, so a program that was nothing more than a PG in terms of content had an attractive girl remove jeans, nothing more. Program paused, moment to enjoy the beauty of those curves... sheesh! am i 12 again??!?

    This was followed by an entire evening of weakness and edging, slowly pushing closer and closer to a lapse. Somehow I got through it without PMOing, but was SERIOUSLY close to resetting my counter. I'm actually not sure how I managed not to - I guess after the previous nights sleepless night I was exhausted enough to fall asleep before I did anything. I got lucky, but on another night I know that would have definately been a lapse.

    I actually thought "if I just watch a little P, but don't M, that doesn't count right?!, and then if I M later but not waching P..." so what stage is bargaining? this fight is hard and don't let anyone tell you differently!
     
    FormerSkeptic, Jul 9, 2014
    FormerSkeptic, Jul 9, 2014
    #2
  3. Jul 9, 2014 #3
    blindwilliejohn

    blindwilliejohn Fapstronaut

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    Hello jackswastedlife .. i am a 27 yr old feeling just as wasted you are and am here to make a change in my life as well ... ok just so that an ad doesn't fuck you up again ... I think you should get adgaurd .. if you have safari you can get from the add on extension list. because every website i would go on had the sexy ad and fuckbook ad. and jada stevens would come on . thats a serious problem ... adgaurd is brilliant. it removes everything .. even youtube ads and its free ..

    I have that same thing going on Formerskpetic .. i keep telling myself reward yourself to a little porn without any jerking off ... but no .. i feel like i am about to explode .. but dancing helps. take care ..
     
    blindwilliejohn, Jul 9, 2014
    blindwilliejohn, Jul 9, 2014
    #3
  4. Jul 10, 2014 #4
    NewMan2014

    NewMan2014 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello gentlemen,

    I am completely new to this, but this is a step that is long past due. I am 22 years old and have recently had to end a relationship because of my addiction to porn which began at the age of 12. That's ten years of non-stop masturbation and pornography viewing. What's so unfortunate, however, is that this behavior was strongly intertwined with feelings of depression and loneliness that were only exacerbated whenever I had to resort to pornography. It was a never-ending cycle that began to foment unrealistic expectations of women and would mix my unrealistic expectations with what was truly before me. I want to stop. I want to change my life, and I want to live my reality as if it were the only real thing before me. I seriously need help.
     
    NewMan2014, Jul 10, 2014
    NewMan2014, Jul 10, 2014
    #4

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