You hate it because you're using it the wrong way, masturbation just releases that energy and leaves you empty. If you redirect that energy with productivity it's gonna be the best thing ever. The hardest part is to get passed the withdrawals and the tough urges, then it becomes the essence of what drives you to do more with your life.
look into sexual transmutation that's what you need to do to gain benefits. https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2kvxjl/sex_transmutation_where_superpowers_come_from/