so much sex and atention from woman but i am so depressed

Hey, so I used to be in tinder, and I am not a sex addict or porn addict, but I can tell you that dating apps made me less empathetic and caring. I dated many guys at once, and once I found the guy I wanted to be with, I ended everything with anyone else I'd been talking to.

My ex boyfriend told me once, that if I am dating multiple people, keep them all on the same physical level. I.e. if I have only kissed one, stay that way with the others. He said if a guy found out I was doing more with another guy after, then they would be angry or hurt. So I stayed true to his advice and that helped. I don't recommend dating multiple people at once.

If and when you are ready to meet someone, I suggest trying to meet someone without dating apps, and going old school. Also, this is what I did, but I made sure not to have sex with anyone until we were exclusive and together as a couple.

What helped my fiance a lot was therapy, getting educated about addiction, and trying to come up with a recovery plan. So if for you, you know you can't have sex right now, I would say stay true to that. Try to work on yourself before being with another person. I wish you all the best and good luck with recovery!

 

That might be a good idea. Definitely look into therapists. Sex therapists are therapists who tend to be sex positive and don't understand pmo. Addiction therapists are good, EFT, CBT, DBT, those are all really good things to look for in a therapist, and if you've ever gone through trauma, a therapist who is EMDR qualified is also a good thing to look into. I have experienced all the above types of therapy (I have trauma, eating disorder, and addiction stuff) so I can say that from experience those methods above seemed to be helpful

I have been to treatment many times for my anorexia, and I can say that if I had not looked into a treatment center I don't think therapy alone would have been enough.

You know yourself, so trust your gut with what you need to recover. I wish you the best!

 

You are seeking satisfaction through sex with women and men (you said you were bisexual). You have to change this mindset, if you think that sex will make you happy, then you will have dark times. What you have is a sex addiction - I would suggest doing some thorough research on it, and to stop sex for a long time. Sex addiction can be, or even more destructive than porn.

Good luck on your path!

 

Bro, thank heavens you've acknowledged this! Now you have the mindset and attitude to work through your condition. I have started meeting with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addictions Therapist) in order to flush out a few remaining things about my sexual behavior and childhood. If you can afford one (mine charges $150 per session in Chicago, but with insurance it's about $60), it may be your best chance of recognizing things you can start dealing with. I'd recommend making use of a a public/college library as well (the best bang for buck you can get to work on yourself). I sat there for hours and read material, took around 7 books with me and have been making great progress because of the things I read.

There's a lot of education needed in the beginning, but it's worth it. The more you understand the bias behind your actions, the rationalising that follows your sexual behavior, the things you need to look out for, the best your starting point will be.

 

Hey man. Is it possible what you're facing is some sort of a sex addiction? It's not you, don't identify yourself with the negative traits that you either have to work on or that you have even just developed with time (and that you can change).

 

You remind me a lot of myself. I've had so many casual sexual encounters ... I think I stopped counting somewhere after 200. I might be wrong, but I think you've been looking for validation. When a woman accepts you sexually, it feels like the ultimate high: you finally feel "good enough", for just a short while.

But then it ends. And you feel empty.

The truth is that the kind of fulfillment you're seeking in sex will never be found in sex. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. No amount of sex will ever be enough--no matter how hot your partner is, and no matter how many crazy fantasies you're able to fulfill. This will sound insanely cheesy, but that feeling of emptiness will follow you until you learn to fill it with God.

Abstaining is a really great start. I'd highly recommend SAA
(www.saa-recovery.org ... there are no meetings in Belgium, unfortunately, but you can join in any of the phone meetings if you like, and eventually, maybe you'll be the one who starts a meeting in Belgium) There, you'll be able to share your story with real, flesh-and-blood people who will understand where you're coming from. This addiction grows when it's a secret--so go to a meeting, share, and the power of the addiction will start to go down. You need other people to walk beside you during this battle.

 

SMART Recovery has a very good approach and proposes live talk and chat groups that meet throughout the week on many different issues. They do not conclude that porn or sex are sources of addiction and choose to call it "Sexual Maladaptive Behaviors" or "SMBs" for short. This specific group meets every Sunday at 6pm (EST). I've been incredibly changed by the methods and tools they bring up to understand at a cognitive level why you want and need so much to leave your practices behind. I really encourage anyone to take this self-empowering, positivity driven approach.

 

I feel exactly the same. I just started this. I feel existential loneliness and feel like resigning from my job. My heart's not in it and I'm so sad. Lacking real confidence, wanting constant quick fixes, no heart to stick at anything anymore. I used to be so different.. Gym three times a week, krav maga regularly, pushed myself had drive and determination.

Now after four breakups including two divorces, a son who my ex doesn't let me see anymore and breaches court orders, a step son who I loved and gave everything to for two years and who's now been isolated from me by a hostile ex making up allegations against me and turning my "friends" against me, I'm really broken. I crave real intimacy more than anything but I'm not healthy enough to get that. Money doesn't motivate me; I'm disinterested. I work in a sales job so that's not exactly a recipe for success. I've smoked cigs more today than normal. I just want to be numb, escape, be asleep.

 

I'm in London... Someone please help, meet me, guide me, take me under your wing, maybe we can go get some drinks or something, I'm honestly feeling so low

 

If there's any woman here who is suffering in her own addictions sexually and we can just be friends and help each other i think that'll take the edge off, I need female company from someone so chilled and who I can just be with and warm to constantly, cuddle. someone to understand this without me having to explain. I want my empathy back.