Unable to share my struggle with the one person I'm supposed to share everything with

I disclosed to my wife that i had a problem and that it was very compulsive and had cnmtrol of me, I disclosed some things I had done but she did not want to know all of the details. She knows I have a problem she knows I am addicted to sexually compulsive behaviors. This made it way easier for me as I have admitted everything to my therapist but my wife did not want to know everything and just wanted to know I was getting fixed. Many people in my group therapy are in the same boat their wives did not want to know all of the details of everything. That might not be healthy for them. Decide what you can talk about that will let you openly seek help, an what will will that work with your spouse. Tell them you have a problem need help and maybe need some time to be able to answer some questions but will do what you can. It is not dishonest I would tell he whatever she wanted to know just did not burden her with everything and let her ask what she wanted to know. Once I told it was like a weight was lifted and I was able to seek help for my problem. I feel better every single day now after 20+ years of hiding and feeling worse every day. I know I have a long way to go but that is what worked for me take what you want from it. Each spouse is different and most do not want to know each detail just that you are in crisis and need help. Do not go into this thinking you need to tell them everything but do go into it ready to tell them what they want to know. Your problem is your addictive and compulsive sexual behaviors what you exactly did is not the problem. Good luck take what you want from my experience, telling is painful and like you I waited over 20 years but I am better for it now.

 

I'm going to cut to the chase here, and I apologise if it comes across as harsh. I don't care about your feelings. I only care about your long-term happiness.

In your effort to maintain your relationship as it is, don't fall into the trap of forgetting what it means to have a relationship in the first place. There are two questions you need to answer.

1. What is more important to you: that your relationship continue at any cost, or that you live openly and honestly about who you are?

2. Do you trust your husband to accept you for who you are and work with you for the good of your mutual relationship?

Once you've answered those, your course of action should be clearer.

 

the predicament is quite a difficult one. But the thing is I do understand! I understand why you wouldn't want to tell him.

Its hard to face the truth, but... the truth is that if you don't tell Him this part of you, it will make you miserable for the rest of your life. Do you really want your husband to go through his entire life not knowing that you had done that? As you said your husband whom you tell everything?

If you decide to tell him, yes he probably will feel hurt and all those bundle of feelings. But if he is your true mate for life, eventually He will help you overcome this addiction! And think about the life you guys can live after you have told him! you will feel so free!!!

You don't have to make the decision right now! just think about it. Every time the thought comes to you just think about it for a bit. If its the right time to make a decision, you will feel ready for it.