Just need advice from sane people.

It is simple. Stay out of PMO and eventually your true self will popup in the end.
Do not be afraid.

 

I agree completely with thejoyprovider. Besides, do not try to stop pmoing. Just stop. That is, change your mindset. Never let your hands touch your "thing"(unless for hygienic purposes of course) and do something EVERYDAY. that will improve your life. This could eventually replace pmoing in your brain. Avoid sites full of triggers. You could consider watching less tv also. Having fun is somewhat subjective. Just do what you like every single day. For your social anxiety issue, I'd suggest that you go online and read testimonials of guys who have successfully beaten this. It will not be easy at all to change these anchored habits but, by persevering, you'll succeed. You do not technically fight an urge. You starve it by not responding how it wants you to respond. Eventually, it will die. To sleep properly, just stop thinking while on your bed at night. Kinda close your mind and think of nothing and close your eyes. You could consider meditation, yoga or pilates to help you gaining control of your mind back. This could help you sleep better and resist urges. Look for solutions concerning sleeping issues on google, you will find better answers. What I wrote above are just from my personal experience with urges and insomnia. Your question on fighting urges after watching porn is incongruous. Don't ever watch porn if you truly want to not masturbate. Porn and fap work hand in hand. Either you eradicate both or none. Also take a look at this thread by william: http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals.
Good luck.

 

Here are some tips that might help!!

1. remove the temptation. remove all temptations! If an idea pops up in your head for PMOing, dismiss it immediately!! if you let the ideas fester in your mind they will take control of you!

2. GET BUSY!! idleness is the devil's playground, so get doing something! if your focused on something else you won't think about PMOing.

3. Have an unstoppable reason why you should stop!


Now out of personal experience, having Jesus in my life has made this abstinence very possible! It gives me the best possible reason for stopping. Even just consider learning a little bit about what Christ can do for you!

not trying to be a preacher or anything! just giving my personal experince


hope this helps man!

 

Hi there. Don't put yourself down. Two weeks is two weeks and it's an accomplishment in itself. Don't compare yourself with the progress of others. The fact that you made it to 2 weeks means you can go further. Failing once or a number of times don't count - its the time you get up and continue that matters. You're not the same person after 2 weeks, so what's stopping you from moving forward.

I'm depressed, and I ran away from it for years. It wasn't until I joined nofap and then experienced a relapse that I officially admitted it to myself. I just want to keep it real and tell you that this challenge is simple - no PMO for a certain number of days, but it's not easy. This is tough, because you'll battle urges and cravings and experience mood swings. As you go every day, you'll learn so much about about yourself and you'll be more connected to yourself and to people and your mindset slowly changes for the better. These are just a few of the many benefits that make those downsides really worth it.

Keep away from porn and don't even think of watching it. If the urges come, let it pass. The same goes with triggers. Do not act on these urges. You have a choice not to respond to it, same as vik17 puts it. Keep your hands above the waist at all times and don't touch yourself unnecessarily. You'll be feeling mood swings, blue balls, leaky states, insomnia - just let it pass. These are just signs that your body is rebalancing or resetting and it's a good thing. These are just side effects, which will soon lead to the desired effects of clarity, being more confident, and basically an improved version of yourself. Do things that you love - taking walks, do hobbies, read, go to the gym, catch up with friends, go to church - anything to keep you busy.

Take it one day at a time. Every hour and day of not doing PMO counts. That's what I remind myself when I started and I tell myself that even now.

 

Hi Charlie,
It's good that you are still on the fight and have not given up. It may take a long time but if you persevere you will get there. Remember that you have been addicted for years and it is not realistic to expect to break free from it in just a short period. There will be setbacks along the way but you will get there.

Adding to the advice given by others already I will suggest that you get an accountability partner. It may also be a good idea to join a 12 steps programme like Sex Addicts Anonymous. I have done so and it is of great help. Good luck

 

Charlie, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to take care of yourself. It sounds obvious, but it's amazing how often we neglect this when we're trapped in this addiction. Start by getting to bed earlier, try to aim for eight hours of sleep (or at least rest) each night. Drink plenty of water, eat plenty of good things like fruits and vegetables. Start an exercise regime and stick to it. These things will make you feel better about yourself and will help with the social anxiety.

Something else that I suggested to someone else earlier. When you're out and about doing your shopping or whatever, make small talk with the people who serve you at the register. Say "hi", ask them how their day is going, take an interest in those around you. Find out about things happening in your community that might interest you and check them out. This is all about getting yourself out of the house/apartment, away from the Internet, and into an environment where you can grow and develop as a person. You'll also develop some kick-ass social skills and that will also help with your social anxiety.

 

Its uncomfortable, but 'practice makes perfect'. You're going to have to force yourself to go out and hang out with people. I'm very much an introvert, with or without my addiction. I get lonely and depressed easily because of it, but when I start feeling that way I force myself to go out and do something new. I also guess I have some anxiety in a way too; meeting new people is very difficult for me mostly because I never know what the hell to say or talk about. The more you do it though, the easier it will become until some of your problems now are a thing of the past.

I suggest going and volunteering somewhere, and definitely (definitely!) hit the gym hard! You should also maybe try looking up an actual group for porn addiction and consider talking to a therapist about it. If you're able to talk to an actual person about your problems it will probably help a great deal!

 

(I only signed up about 10 minutes ago btw)

One thing your post reminds me of is my experience with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I went through this when dealing with social anxiety from living in a foreign country. It's basically the idea the your feelings are determined by your thoughts, and your thoughts are often an overly negative view of events. If you beat yourself up too hard for your mistakes, it can gather false momentum.

You think you failed, so that triggers feelings that lead to stressful situations, which lead to a greater chance of failure.

2 weeks is better than you think.

Hope that helps.

 

You just hit upon something very interesting and important. I consider myself an introvert in the sense that I prefer solitary activities much of the time. In fact, one of the reasons I hit porn so hard was because I had little interest in going to a loud club to meet women. The thing is, it doesn't have to be one extreme or the other. As introverts, easy for us to feel as though we're the only ones with our personality type, or the only ones who have any interest in whatever our hobbies might be. That makes it even more important, in my view, to get away from the computer.

Just go and do something you love. The great thing about the Internet, with sites like meetup.com is that you can quite easily find people who share your interests. It's just a matter of going through with it and putting yourself out there.

 

I am new to this, and am feeling the same anxieties that we all feel. I have been battling this for decades, and go from utter disgust with myself; to accepting my addiction, and not fighting it. I reached this point, where I wanted to proactively take control, after an episode of extreme activity, encompassing many hours, put me at that place known as "rock bottom". So, I have been sober for 5 days, and came to the website as a response to the cravings entering my mind today.

Two observations. One, a coping mechanism I often used was to simply act out quickly, get it over with, and have my mid be clear to focus on work and life. That was always a band aid though, as the the desire to act out again always comes back, but harder.

Secondly, I am realizing that my effectiveness in my work, hobbies, home life are all greatly enhanced when I am sober. This means that my career struggles and relationship struggles are all tied to this addiction.

I want to stay sober, and I will come back here, to this virtual AA meeting, whenever I am in danger of slipping off the wagon. Thanks for listening.