So with the erotic sex chats I have the feeling as if I want to numb with it. And do not want to have this new freedom I want to use for a few days, (almost afraid of it). It has what vetrautes me easily in sex fantasies and chats easy to excite. With the chats I am in my old role which is vetraut me as a small worthless slave boy. But actually, I am not at all. And I do not want it. But no, but yes, no. On the other hand, yes, but I am sure that yes is based on my addiction.
That's the trouble with porn addiction. It lies to you. First, I'd say don't concentrate on this so much. If you truly want to stop sex chats and pornography, maybe concentrating on your favorite roles and what you like to do is not the answer?