I have friends, I live downtown where there's lots of girls and bars, I learned "pick up" unsuccessfully for 6 years while unable to let go of porns grip on me. It is the devil within. The ego screaming for more. That little voice that says you're unworthy of love, you'll be alone forever. Why do I continue to sabotage my own life just to get high? Day in and day out I feel alone. As if no one else really exists. My fear of intamacy is way too high and my social anxiety is through the roof. My life sucks, why not at least go have fun with friends? I've been tracking how much I use my phone in a day and so far it's 8+ hours so that's not good. Go outside instead. Winter is coming...
I'm in the same situation as you, but don't let the fear consume you, don't try to fight it or avoid it, just let the feeling get through your mind. It's not real, believe me. It's not a problem for being single and lonely. Be patient. I can talk to you in a post or in private if you want, because I'm passing through the same. Get through it bro.
Sounds like me... I have friends but getting them out seems impossible, make plans and they just cancel. Severe social anxiety and depression which I'm on medication for. Constantly feel lonely, been single for 7 years and think I won't find anyone again. I'm in love with my female best friend who has a boyfriend and daughter so that just makes me feel worse and like I'm not as good as her boyfriend. Approaching 9 days clean now and the feeling of loneliness is just getting worse, fear I'm close to relapse because I crave that temporary "high" that PMO gives. Don't know if this dark hole I'm in will ever end.
Don't worry man, I feel like I won't get married or have a happy life either cause I don't feel wanted, good enough and utter trash. People at my school make me feel like no body and loser cause they do better things than I do cause I never done anything cool like after school stuff or racing. The only thing I manage to do is work and join up with FFA..
I'd rather sit at home alone stoned off my roommates weed then go out with friends. Why? Honestly it's the fear of rejection. As a 26yr virgin struggling to quit porn it's hard to imagine myself going out dating again. I'm lonely yet sabotage every chance I get to have fun by smoking weed it makes me tired and paranoid. I do t enjoy it but I smoke it to escape reality. It's hard to have confidence walking around with PIED, anxiety and depression. I'm afraid of putting myself out there again. I know the only way I'll ever let go of porn completely involves quitting weed 100% and starting to socialize again. Sitting at home alone is killing me. Haven't been going to the gym or anything. Severe depression
Guys , I've been in similar situations before.Just move out if the hellhole,go for a walk,a jog something that keeps you really engaged.Its easier said than done,but give it a try!
Hey, Sounds like you guys are going through some pretty tough times, especially OP. At the risk of alienating myself and making you hate me I'm gonna go out here and say that you all sound like victims. Victims are people who have "bad things" happen to them right? Things that are typically out of their control and by some misfortune the victim must suffer these injustices - poor victim. You guys sound like your life is out of your control, it's like you've given up and you can't do anything about it. The truth is of course - you can do something about it, plenty of things, untold amounts of things - some things potentially harder than others here are some examples of things I think will help a lot and I'll put a difficulty setting next to the thing as from where I'm standing judge how hard it will be to implement and continually practice in your life (which I know very little about) ... Meditation (hard), Gym/exercise (moderate), delete all social media/bullshit phone apps (easy/moderate - depends how addicted you/whether you cave), go to see a psychologist (easy) - this might be the most helpful one, don't buy any more weed (moderate). It sounds like your life is governed by escape - you can't stand your life so you need to be away from it as much as possible - either on your phone or baked or ejaculating. I'm not a professional, I encourage you to see a professional psych, don't be under the impression that psych's are for crazy people - I'm going to see a psychologist literally tomorrow and I'm not crazy (... Or am I?) they can help you grow no matter what position you find yourself in. I think literally implementing any kind of structured activity in your life will have great benefit to you, get some kind of discipline established, once you're in a steady state keep working on yourself, try and add more - start doing some self development, buy a book "How to win friends and influence people". Understand that you are the hero of your own life and nobody is able to do your life for you, it's up to you. Would you wish this state upon a loved one? Would you wish your life upon anyone for that matter? Then learn to love yourself and rescue yourself from this life that you've found yourself flailing about within. Before you learn self-acceptance you won't attract a mate - or at least have any kind of meaningful relationship with said mate, it's time to work on you now - a girlfriend, your best friend who you love etc. etc. (who you may well not, mind you, sorry that I think this wasn't OP who said this, but it's a good example) will not save you from yourself. Come on my dudes, life is there for the taking. As I said, there's limitless things you can do but you need to build yourself up to that point. At the moment if you tried to start going to the gym, break your phone with a hammer, give up masturbating forever, start eating healthy, start meditating - all at once, you'll give up within a couple of days. Take it slow, one thing at the time, establish the baseline and build yourself up - don't expect anything to be easy, everything is going to be hard but it'll pay of 10x down the road. Get some structure in your life and then study self development and yourself, understand yourself and all the millions of ways you sabotage yourself. Ask yourself why you trawl around on your phone, ask yourself why you tell yourself the gym is a waste of time. All the best, hope this helps and doesn't make you mad - but bear in mind, if you are mad - it's probably because I'm telling you to do something and you really really really really really don't want to do anything - because that's going to be uncomfortable but if you want to experience things outside of what you already know (with what you're comfortable with) then of course, you're going to be uncomfortable. Good luck.
If you get really lonely and just want to talk to people meetup.com is always an avenue where something, somewhere is going on. There are more people out there that feel the same way you do than you think and they're trying to find a way to meet others.
Try to go without Porn if not anything else. See if anything changes in the way you live your life. Sometimes you need a long period without something to see things clearer. You say you were trying to pick up all the while using P. That doesn't sound like a recipe for success. Work on small changes first. See whether you feel any differences over some time. Then add more later when you feel you can. All the little things matter.
It did end, I feel so much better now and hopeful for the future. Seen slight improvements in appearance and mood has improved over the last day. Sex drive all over the place. Should hopefully see more benefits soon.
