10 year's freedom from pmo - my Catholic method

My thoughts on the video about ''Hopeful and Insightful Catholic Video about Porn/Masturbation addiction''

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...n-masturbation-addiction.343022/#post-3520292

Let's look what the priest advises to Catholic believers who are in the church to do when you are tempted:

- '' seven steps on the pornography highway'' 49:12
'' the time to make U-turn (right away) reaction:
1. I'm going to call a friend.
2. I'm going to go for a walk.
3. I'm going to go to the chapel.

Prayer on the third place only? And this is only an alternative, you could according to the priest do something different.
But let's take in details point 3. Going to the chapel or church late in the evening (when addicts mostly fall) or maybe in the middle of the night? Sorry, not practical, how far is the chapel or church from your house? 100 metres? Or is it not closed? Do you want to kiss the closed entry doors or what?
But I think the priest maybe took it figurately as a synonym to prayer. So, the priest thinks that prayer can be optional or at the third place.
He calls it '' Have an exit strategy. fire exit drills,having an escape route ''
The escape rout is very insufficient.
What the priest says answering to the rhetoric question '' What if I'm still stuck? '' And this question is crucial because on this and others forums are only the addicts who ''are stuck'' after many unsuccessful trials.
Well, what the priest advises is:
spiritual direction
, counselling,
group therapy,
intensive therapy
other recources - tons of e-books etc.

Well, despite of spiritual direction which is very uncommon (so not practical when we think about hundreds of thousands addicted Catholics) the other means are pure secular. And intensive therapy - if you have thousands of dollars ready to spend then it's a very good tip. Group therapy - it's good too but is there one where you live or maybe you have to travel 100 km?( so not practical in most cases)

To be brief:
The priest could say all of this to atheists because the tips (advise) mostly are secular (besides of confession - but the priests says only about the technical procedure of confession - what to say during it - ''how to confess: 1:02.40 '')
And if you still have the problem go to secular therapy. We priests don't know to answer you to the question '' What if I'm still stuck? ''.
I imagined how the priest could have helped me when I was in my third decade of pmo addiction.

My conclusion is - Catholic Church nowadays has no means, no plan, no strategy to effectively help a pmo addict. They (priests) will send you to secular therapists and (group) therapies.
Who will say to young (or older) Catholics the basic truth and advise - Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.''
Will a therapist (educated in secular (often anti-religious) universities say the sentence?

The Church forgot that in the past she (the Church) knew what to do - for example look at the working tips in ''On Impurity'' by St. Alphonsus Liguori.

 

''On Impurity'' by St. Alphonsus Liguori.

'' In consequence of original sin, we all have an inclination to do what is forbidden. Now, when a dangerous occasion is present, it violently excites our corrupt desires, so that it is then very difficult to resist them : because God withholds efficacious helps from those who voluntarily expose themselves to the occasion of sin."He that loves danger shall perish in it." (Ecclus.3.27) "When," says St. Thomas, in his comment on this passage, "we expose ourselves to danger, God abandons us in it." St. Bernardine of Siena teaches that the counsel of avoiding the occasions of sin is the best of all counsel, and as it were the foundation of religion. ''


God withholds efficacious helps
Efficacious grace is always efficacious ( successful in producing a desired or intended result; effective). So if you don't want to be successful in the desired result of beating pmo then don't avoid occasions of pmo sin. Then it will happen what you wanted - God will abandon you in you fight against pmo. If you don't avoid occasions of pmo sin your unsuccessful fight will last until you start avoiding them. If you start avoiding the occasions in 30 years then be happy because already in 30 years (provided you'll be alive) you'll start the real fight with a perspective to win!


'' the devil seeks to place before us the occasions of sin, by which he enters the soul, says St. Cyprian.
The ruin of our first parents arose from their not flying from the occasions of sin. God had prohibited them not only to eat, but even to touch the forbidden apple. In answer to the serpent tempting her, Eve said: "God has commanded us that we should not eat, and that we should not touch it." (Gen. 3.3) But "she saw, took, and ate" the forbidden fruit : she first looked at it, she then took it into her hands, and afterwards ate it. This is what ordinarily happens to all who expose themselves to the occasions of sin. ''


Jack saw a fashion show (this is yet not porn), took his remote control to change to the ''girls on the beach'' (only two glimpses and finish), and has been eaten by the pmo wolf.


'' Hence, being once compelled by exorcisms to tell the sermon which displeased him most, the devil confessed that it was the sermon on avoiding the occasions of sin. As long as we expose ourselves to the occasions of sin, the devil laughs at all our good purposes and promises made to God. ''


If you want to start 'my method' never promise anything to God as long as you don't avoid the occasions of pmo sin. And I would add - never start 'my method' as long as you don't avoid the occasions of pmo sin. It would be only a pure waste of time and energy.

 

I understand it so - An addict (Jack) doesn't avoid occasions of pmo sin because he doesn't believe that it's important - this is one of results that Jack doesn't believe in all that the Church teaches ( Jack simply choses - this I believe but this I doubt ). The consequence of Jack's doubt - his not avoiding the occasions, results in his 30 year long unsuccesful fight against pmo ( Jack doesn't believe either that prayer is very important so he makes a lot of effort but he remains an addict). After 30 years and after trying 37 ways to beat pmo, after he has paid 5000 bucks for unsuccesful therapies, Jack being in total depression has the idea of believing in all that the Church teaches. So he starts avoiding occasions to sin, prays like crazy, takes Sacraments, reads the Bible, treats good other people, forgives anybody etc. ..... and as a result of his faith and daily living according to faith, Jack is set free from pmo and other addictions plus he benefits from all aspects of salvation .... even his children who hated him started to first respect then to love him, he got a new job ( because he's responsible and trustworthy worker now) ... and after his life ended he has been saved.
That's why God used Jack's sin of unbelief, allowing the 30 year pmo enslavement , the misery which compelled Jack to real repentance with full belief.

 

''On Impurity'' by St. Alphonsus Liguori

"The greatest care of the enemy is to induce us not to avoid evil occasions; for these occasions, like a veil placed before the eyes, prevent us from seeing either the lights received from God, or the eternal truths, or the resolutions we have made : in a word, they make us forget all, and as it were force us into sin.

as a lamb cannot be sure of its life if it remain in the den of a wolf, so likewise no one can be secure of the treasure of divine grace if he is resolved to continue in the occasion of sin.

If, then, we do not fly from the external occasions, how can we resist temptation and avoid sin? Let us, therefore, place before our eyes the general remedy which Jesus has prescribed for conquering temptations and saving our souls. "If your right eye scandalize you, pluck it out and cast it from you."


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''On Impurity'' by St. Alphonsus Liguori

'' St. Francis of Assisi used to say that the devil does not seek, in the beginning, to bind souls with the chain of mortal sin; because they ( habitual sinners / addicts) would be alarmed at the thought of committing mortal sin, and would fly from it with horror.
He endeavors to bind them by a single hair, which does not excite much fear; because by this means he will succeed more easily in strengthening their bonds, till he makes them his slaves. Hence he who wishes to be free from the danger of being the slave of hell must break all the hairs by which the enemy attempts to bind him; that is, he must avoid all occasions of sin. ''

So many years, even over 3 decades I had been ignoring or hadn't believed that the devil is like a master of psychological war or propaganda.

'' With regard to those who have had a habit of impurity, it will not be sufficient to avoid proximate (near) occasions; if they do not fly from remote occasions, they will very easily relapse into their former sins.''

What can be a remote occasion of pmo sin? For instance - you feel that tonight the pmo temptation is hard to bear so you could even promise to God that tonight , until next evening you won't use any cell phone, or computer or won't turn on TV or that being alone at home you'll force yourself to go out (weight room, gym, walking in the park etc.). In matter of fact I rarely have done it but I remember not turning on my laptop ( first was a promise because without promises in difficult situations I'm rather like a piece of wood carried by the river wherever it wants me to travel ).

'' Impurity, says St. Augustine, is a vice which makes war on all, and which few conquer. "The fight is common, but the victory rare."

We can observe this on all anti pmo forums. That's why the measures have to be radical. Lukewarm measures don't work here. We must be like saints. If we were not addicts we could be like saints but being pmo addicts we have only such a choice - either you'll be a saint ( or at least you'll be honestly trying to be a saint) or an everlasting pmo addict. What is your choice? Why saints? because 'my method' is mostly the same like a way to become a saint. As nobody can become a saint being lukewarm as nobody can get rid of pmo using 'mild' measures.
Why is the victory rare? Because addicts don't want to use radical (difficult) measures. Why there have been only a few saints? The reason remains the same. We are so prone to easy comfortable peasant life but as pmo addicts we must forget what is easy comfortable peasant life and choose what is difficult (saving). We can have easy comfortable peasant moments in life but the whole life can't be so because it leads always to addiction, any addiction.

 

''On Impurity'' by St. Alphonsus Liguori

'' To escape defeat in this struggle, a great grace of God is necessary; and to render ourselves worthy of this grace, we must, on our part, avoid the occasions of sin. To practice the virtue of chastity, it is necessary to recommend ourselves continually to God : we have not strength to preserve it; that strength must be the gift of God. ''

Without continual prayer and without continual avoiding the occasions of sin the victory is impossible. And not enough / lack of prayer plus not avoiding the occasions of sin (using porn substitutes) are the most common mistakes if you read and analyse jurnals of addicts. Then they don't know why they are stuck.

'' St. Philip Neri used to say that in the war against the vice of impurity, the victory is gained by cowards - that is, by those who fly from the occasions of this sin. But the man who exposes himself to it, arms his flesh, and renders it so powerful, that it will be morally impossible for him to resist its attacks. ''

I have been the coward for almost 9 years. It's good to be a coward when you are in front of the mine field. The arms and legs of the brave lie in the mine field.


"Cry out," says the Lord to Isaiah, "all flesh is grass." (Isa. 40.6) Now, says St. John Chrysostom, if all flesh is grass, it is as foolish for a man who exposes himself to the occasion of sin to hope to preserve the virtue of purity, as to expect that hay, into which a torch has been thrown, will not catch fire.
"Put a torch into hay, and then dare to deny that the hay will burn." No, says St. Cyprian; it is impossible to stand in the midst of flames, and not to burn. "
"Can a man," says the Holy Spirit, "hide fire in his bosom, and his garments not burn? or can he walk upon hot coals, and his feet not be burnt?" (Prov. 6.27, 28) Not to be burnt in such circumstances would be a miracle.


Well, what do they who don't avoid the occasions of pmo sins expect? A miracle?

 

''On Impurity'' by St. Alphonsus Liguori

" St. Bernard teaches that to preserve chastity, and, at the same time, to expose oneself to the proximate occasion of sin, "is a greater miracle than to raise a dead man to life."
In explaining the fifth Psalm, St. Augustine says that "he who is unwilling to fly from danger, wishes to perish in it."
Others, trusting in the change which has taken place in their life, in their confessions, and in the promises they have made to God, say : Through the grace of the Lord, I have now no bad motive in seeking the company of such a person; her presence is not even an occasion of temptations : "

In this trap I had sometimes fallen. at some time of maintaining 'sobriety' there appear thoughts - Now, after winning so many battles, I'm immune to porn substitutes and they may not harm me. I'll try this today ... and you begin to try more and more .... and you get up with your right hand on the ....


"' Listen, all you who speak in this manner. In Mauritania there are bears that go in quest of the apes, to feed upon them : as soon as a bear appears, the apes run up the trees, and thus save themselves. But what does the bear do? He stretches himself on the ground as if dead, and waits till the apes descend from the trees. The moment he sees that they have descended, he springs up, seizes on them,
and devours them.
It is thus the devil acts : he makes the temptation appear to be dead; but when a soul descends, and exposes itself to the occasion of sin, he stirs up temptation, and devours it.

Oh! how many miserable souls, devoted to spiritual things, to mental prayer, to frequent communion, and to a life of holiness have, by exposing themselves to the occasion of sin, become the slaves of the devil! "

That's why they say when you are an alcoholic you'll remain one until your death. Your choice is only to remain a 'wet' or 'dry' alcoholic. Of course there are miracles, when God takes away any desire to an addiction. Yet they are extremely rare. Porn substitutes, some people and situations will always be tempting to us.

 

My comments on “Lift Up Your Heart” by Ven. Fulton Sheen
published on this RCC forum by Auggie

"'IF THE EGO IS GIVEN ITS WAY, with no moral discipline .., the personality degenerates through seven stages - solicitation (suggestion), pleasure, consent, act, habit, necessity, and death. "'


I had achieved stage six = pmo necessity. Why hadn't I achieved stage seven = death?
If it were drugs I could reach the stage but ... there is yet aids illness ...


"' the suggestion to commit a sin involving sex... can come into the mind through what is seen, heard, touched, imagined, or remembered. "'

And here we have to begin our fight avoiding the occasions of pmo sin because at further stages the fight is much more longer and difficult.

 

My comments on “Lift Up Your Heart” by Ven. Fulton Sheen
published on this RCC forum by Auggie

'' So long as the temptation was purely mental, it had little appeal; but at this stage, when the emotions are aroused, there begins the warfare ... - flesh lusting against the spirit.''

The best time to fight by prayer is when the temptation is only purely mental - it's enough to pray even short then. But maybe you love difficult really long-lasting repeated prayers then my tip is - don't pray until your emotions (lust) are aroused.

'' Saint Benedict was once so strongly tempted to impurity that he ran into the bushes to be pricked by thorns in order, through pain, to overcome this solicitation to evil. ''

Nowadays it is practically impossible. But I know something much more real, relatively easy but working - prayer (not short) at the time of temptation. By the way - any prayer at the time of temptation, especially the beginning phase of it is painful to our psyche. We have to force ourselves to pray - Saint Benedict forced himself to run into the bushes. Our bushes and medical thorns are prayer.


'' The will always has, in itself and in cooperation with God's help, the power to repel the evil that attracts,''

The will always has, in itself the power to repel mild, rather short, not repeated pmo temptations.
The will hasn't, in itself the power to repel strong, rather long-lasting, repeated pmo temptations.
The will always has in cooperation with God's help ( long repeated prayer at the time of temptation), the power to repel strong, rather long-lasting, repeated pmo temptations.

'' This gathering up of inflammable material to spread temptation is an act of the will, and itself represents, to some extent, consent to the sin ''

One gathers up inflammable material when one doesn't avoid the occasions of pmo sin. To gather it up systematically your consent to the sin is needed. Without prayer you can't give up the gathering up. You simply too weak to not give imperfect consent to the sin without prayer.

'' Sometimes, however, the refusal to sin is not clear, in which case the consent is imperfect; this is the case when one does not reject the temptation as soon as it is perceived as evil, or when one momentarily hesitates,''

There is always an additional punishment - If you do not reject the pmo temptation as soon as it is perceived, or when you momentarily hesitate then your effort to not give in will be much longer and difficult. Plus nobody can you guaranty that you'll be able to not give in even if you start praying. Not to say that If you do not reject the pmo temptation as soon as it is perceived your last weak thought will be prayer but the first powerful one will be the desire of pmo paradise.

 

My comments on “Lift Up Your Heart” by Ven. Fulton Sheen
published on this RCC forum by Auggie


" Once the will gives its imprimatur and elects the (pmo) evil, then ... the will moves into the ... stage of action.''

imprimatur of the will, good said, If you don't want to give the implimatur you have to avoid all porn substitutes and pray during each temptation. If you lack the both or even only one of them then you'll give the implimatur for sure, after unnecessary painful hopeless fight. And then after repeating the cycle 200 times you'll begin to think - God, religion, prayer, sacraments don't work I have to go elsewhere for help.

'' When there has been only a single such sin or several intermittent sins, the voice of conscience is still very strong; and the disgust, emptiness, and boredom that one feels after the deed is the voice of the conscience "

And it's the best time to confess. if you postpone the confession your voice of conscience will be much weaker and you'll commit in between 30 - 100 pmo acts.


" One of the most merciful acts of God is the stirring up of an uneasy conscience ...the most destructive acts of humanity is the dismissing of conscience as a "guilt complex'' ... Sometimes the egotist who finds his conscience an uncomfortable housemate seeks out a psychoanalyst of the Freudian school, who will explain away his moral uneasiness through a denial of God and conscience and the Moral Law."

Nowadays I doubt if you find a good psychoanalyst. they all are taught at universities that masturbation is a good relief and 'porn' provided not too much can be a good relax. You'll go to them and they will say to you - the problem lies elsewhere. It's your restrictive religion. You need only to reduce the number and time of pmo acts because even sport done too much can be damaging. In my country (Poland) there are some therapists who respect Catholic teaching but they are minority. I suppose in West Europe or North America there are only ''psychoanalysts (therapists) of the Freudian school'' or I err.


" If, however, such a sinner falls into the hands of a more scientific psychiatrist, he will be told to reintegrate himself into the moral order and thus recover peace."

The problem is that something has changed since the times Ven. Fulton Sheen lived and there are no or only few ''more scientific psychiatrists (therapists)''. Consequently pmo addicts can hardly find real help. No scientists, politics, doctors, TVs, radios , teachers ... say that alcohol abuse is good or that drugs, gambling etc. are good but the vast majority of scientists, politics, doctors, TVs, radios , teachers say to you that masturbation and porn in moderation are good.
Consequently I think alcoholics, drug addicts etc. have much more chances to get rid of their addiction than us. The governments work against us. Don't you believe it? Then ask yourself th question - who allowed porn to be present in magazines, cable TV, CD's selled, in the Internet etc. Is there no law approved by your countries parliaments?


" But if the egotist is basically in rebellion against God, he often develops an abnormal hatred and bigotry toward any adviser or any institution that reminds him of the violated order. He seeks out those who will allow him to continue with his sin; he asks of them only that they cure the remorse that sin produces."

That's why Catholic Church is so attacked these days. And we can be attacked either as long as we say that pmo is damaging sins. Rebellion against God and His laws. And they seek another modern liberal church who allow pmo, divorces, anti baby pills, abortion, erotic etc. - it's not The Church of Christ.

 

Hi, I'm glad you want to try 'my method'. It's simply effective. If you don't know how to understand something in the method then ask. As long as you'll be trying this method I will be praying for you.