After 400 days without P and M

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Barnabas_, May 15, 2019.

  1. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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  2. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Thanks brother. Youtube stopped to be a problem for me maybe 2 months ago.
    Installed Wizmage Image Hider in Chrome browser, which is the main browserI use.

    A short film that helped me too in the past:
     
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  3. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    300 days without P and M. First time in my life:)
    (been addicted to both P & M around 20 years).

    So grateful for this 10 months. Will write in a few days and uptade on the last 30 days.

    Apart from huge help from this forum, plus having great accountability partner I met here, it was only possible because of Him:

     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019
  4. Ahanaf arik

    Ahanaf arik Fapstronaut

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  5. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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  6. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 311.

    A very stressful day, plus conflict with my wife.

    A few months ago after such a situation I would have tried to release the tension with P or M (or edging).

    For around 20 years stress/frustration/irritation/rejection - was my main trigger to escape to destructive world of porn and masturbation. No longer.

    Thanks to the grace of God, accountability partners (one of them, great person I met through this website), accountability software today I have no urges to repeat these distructive habbits from the past.

    One day at a time.

    Praying also for humility and strength for every day.

    "If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall." (1 Cor 10:12).

    I need Christ (reading Bible, prayer) every day, His strenght for being clean.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2019
  7. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    11 months of freedom from P & M.

    A few observation from the last 30-60 days:

    - Self discipline is growing, also in other areas, like eating, anger management. Step by step, every month more and more negative behaviours are being eliminated from my life. No secrets, for examle finding it much more difficult to lie to others.

    - Sleeping much better.

    - Having more hope and trust for the future.

    - Getting back more closeness with my wife, something that was missing for a few last years.

    - Deeper spiritual life, praying, reading a Bible differently than before, being more connected and dependant on Jesus, relying on Him and His strenght, rather than own strenghts.

    Still struggling a bit with fear/anxiety but I know that step by step it will be better also with it.

    Key elements for me in recovery so far:
    - growing relationship with God (reading Bible daily - this is fundamental to me, plus praying)
    - having Accountibility Partners (one aslo from this forum)
    - having accountibility software (4 people have constant access to what I see on phone & computer, receive daily or weekly reports)
    - helping others who are addicted to this
    - taking one day at the time, focusing on 24 hours to be clean.

    Onwards friends! :)

    Have a good day. Free from P & M.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2019
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  8. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 342 without P & M.
     
  9. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Keep the good work mate. Very proud of you.
    Wife and daughter are lucky to have you.
     
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  10. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

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    That's cool lol. 2 years ago I relapsed sēd at 345 days. - Lesson: don't get confident.
     
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  11. Khan-p

    Khan-p Fapstronaut

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  12. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Interesting comrade very interesting! I find the most seemingly innocent of scenes and images can set me off. For example a 1970s TV show with scantily clad women. Therefore I must avoid such fare.
     
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  13. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Hi Barnabas,
    you are doing very well. Alas the World is full of temptation. You are right to be wary of YouTube. It is a commercial entity.
    As such it panders to all desires. Both subtle and gross. I myself use it. But I need to be very vigilant when doing so. Keep up the good work.
     
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  14. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Thanks brothers for your encouraging words! It is helping too.

    Two things were crucial in the last few months:

    Firstly, Youtube is no longer such dangerous, my Accountibility Partner - advised me to install:
    Wizmage Image Hider in Chrome. It helps.

    Secondly started to have accountibility software, 4 men, friends I trust receive weekly reports with what I see on the internet. It successfully prevents me from looking on youtube at improper contents.

    Actually I am not thinking now about a day 345 or 365 days. Thanks for sharing what happened to you brother.

    I try to focus on one day at the time. To stay clean one day at the time. Am aware that one bad step can lead me again to return to masturbation or porn. No mather if we are 10 days free or 100 or 500, I believe.

    I pray to God (to Jesus - in my case) also to help me and give strenght for another 24 hours to be free from these addictions.

    "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" - trying to remember this.

    I have been learing humility and staying humble in this recovery - this seem to be a very important too, as:

    "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverbs 16:18).

    Onward! One day at a time :)
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2019
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  15. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

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    It's interesting that you pray every day. Cause I prayed only once in the Bible studies and other brothers and sisters prayed together with me I believe. What I prayed was to stay all summer on a straight road but a brother in Christ said - Why all summer? Better all the time. - And here my current streak is the result of that. Summer is over but God's blessing continues.

    Recently not so long ago had massive and often urges but I said to these satanic temptations - No, Jesus is better!
    Sure urges were not without my fault, these sexual energy attacks was a result of my exessive phone gaming, that stole time from reading God's word and other things. Gaming on PC and mobile was my downfall many times before as it dumps down mind and affects decisions.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2019
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  16. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 410 without porn and masturbation.

    Will write an update in a few days, new changes I have observed in the last weeks.

    I am so grateful to be free from bondage of porn and mastrbation this 13 months.
    Some people from here and this website were very helpful in it.

    Have a good day!
     
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