Questions for those who have used Shemale prostitutes

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Luvspin68, Jun 30, 2019.

  1. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    SO here. Just grasping for answers.

    My BF has been visiting shemale escorts several times a year for 8 years. (It May be more)

    From what I gather on this forum, shemale porn is highly addictive. So the “real thing” probably more so.

    Questions....
    Do you think one could just “quit “ this behavior because it was discovered?

    Do you think this person is definitely “bi”? That’s a hard question...... I realize sexuality can be fluid.

    Do you think it could be considered a “kink”? Versus a compulsion/ addiction?

    It you were a hetero gal would you stay with the person with this history?
    ( they claim they are “done with that”)
    And have a “coach” to help uncover root causes.

    Will he continue to fantasize and have urges about TS?

    Is there there any chance this is latent homosexual urges? ( he is older...... raised in generation where it was most likely shameful to be gay)

    Thank you in advance for anyone who replies. I do appreciate the perspective of those who have been there.
     
  2. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s extremely helpful. I have seen that over and over........that it’s the taboo that is so intriguing.

    I just wish my BF’s issue had been only TS porn, and not actual escorts.

    It is entirely next level in my opinion. To physically be with them.

    I hope this does not trigger you or anyone........ but the TSPorn you watch is usually TS+ TS?
    Or TS +straight male? Or both?
    What prevents you from seeing them?
    ( mainly you don’t want to spend your money that way?)

    Thank you so much for your reply.
    Helps me more than you could ever know.
     
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  3. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    Not really straight if you're banging someone with a dick.
     
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  4. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    I agree.......... but so interesting how may men enjoy a penis but consider themselves “straight.
    On no planet or any universe is a penis associated with femininity.

    It’s the age old argument. Does liking a penis make you gay?
    In the very least you are “straight male” with arousal and craving for a male sexual organ.

    Not judging anyone! I’m just a hetero female trying to make sense of it.

    I think it’s wrong to hide this from your partner.
    Just my personal opinion
     
  5. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    I agree.......... but so interesting how may men enjoy a penis but consider themselves “straight.
    On no planet or any universe is a penis associated with femininity.

    It’s the age old argument. Does liking a penis make you gay?
    In the very least you are “straight male” with arousal and craving for a male sexual organ.

    Not judging anyone! I’m just a hetero female trying to make sense of it.

    I think it’s wrong to hide this from your partner.
    Just my personal opinion
     
  6. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    Is he still visiting escorts whilst you seeing him?
    Dick or no dick this would be unacceptable.
     
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  7. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    He is absolutely not using after he was caught. Unless he is really f’ed up.
     
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  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    A lot of unnatural behaviour comes from heavy porn use. And with enough time porn-free, a lot of these behaviours are seen for what they really are. Something that once looked amazing, is now just a bad idea, or simply impractical.

    Does/did he use porn as well? Or just go to escorts?

    This would be an important question in my opinion, as any desire to do something out of the ordinary without porn-related motivation may point to a sexual preference rather than a passing fad.

    For what it's worth, I used to be quite interested in trans women. I went through a few years of watching that genre of porn (where the interest originated). And one day I met a trans woman and experienced what I'd wanted. After this the desire actually went away. She was very feminine, but it just wasn't as natural and fun as it is with a real woman.

    During that time I was also making efforts to stop my porn use too though. So I think that may have weighed in on me trying to stop seeking out 'fetish' or 'taboo' encounters.

    So in short, porn can make otherwise unwanted sexual interests become a priority, but enough time away from porn should reveal whether the interest is innate or not.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
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  9. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for responding.
    I’m pretty sure there is porn use. We don’t live together, some I’m not entirely sure, and if I asked him I’m sure he would minimize it.

    But really, how else would someone see TS persons having sex.? Gotta be lots of porn exposure.

    It’s the duration of the usage that makes me wonder about sexual preference.

    Good luck to you on your journey.
     
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    You do see a bit of trans stuff on TV these days. So nudity aside someone could stumble across trans attraction I guess.

    But in all likelihood there will probably be porn use. I would encourage you to talk to him about NoFap, and in particular how lots of men do get past their habits in this area, and can go on to have more fulfilment with their partner. Not just in intimacy, but it's a general thing that affects ones whole demeanour.

    And thanks :) I'm still working on this, but I can say from experience a lot of porn-influenced interests have gone for me, there's hope to change.
     
  11. Rene75

    Rene75 Fapstronaut

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    I can't tell you how your husband's mind works, only my expierences.

    The first time a saw a TS i was maybe 14 and was disgusted and felt shame, few years later the internet arrived and they popped up in my fetish searches. Slowly i started to accept them and like them. Few years later started to visited them in real life. These days if i visit a sexworker its only a TS. I'm single so I dont have to worry about harming other people.

    If i watch its mostly female fetish material or TS. I also go periods without TS porn, i guess its boredom.
    For me the real thing isn't addictive, the porn, in general, is more difficult to stay away from.

    I don't consider myself gay or bi, don't care much about labels anyway. I like the female body and male sex organ.
    I can't even be touched by a male or touch a male myself in any sexual way. Also the male faces do nothing to me and dont like gay porn.

    Depending on how intense his watching was, I think the conditioning can be very deep and hard to break. Its hard to tell if you can get rid of it, i have read some succes stories on nofap. I think at some level it will always be there, wanted or unwanted.

    Hope this helps you.
     
  12. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you Rene
    Your opinion is very appreciated.
    Would you consider your primary attraction is to pre op TS?

    Also, let’s just pretend beautiful feminine TS did not exist.

    Would you still have attraction to male sex organ? Would you seek it out? (Even still starched yo a male)

    Thanks!!!!
     
  13. Rene75

    Rene75 Fapstronaut

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    Luvspin68, for me real life sexual encounters are primary pre-op TS. In porn its only one of the options. If the male sex organ is not on a 'female' body the attraction is much much less, not zero, but not something i would consider worth looking at much.
    Hope this explains your question.
     
  14. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Yes..... very helpful. I appreciate your candor.
    Good luck on your journey.!
     
  15. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Sounds like he's cheating on you. You shouldn't put up with that. Unless he was doing it before you 2 were together.

    He likes the female form. But do you know what he likes more than women? Penis. Find someone else who can appreciate you the way you should be appreciated. With your lady parts
     
  16. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for weighing in TimeToQuitNow. You are very bottom line. I like your style.
    I need to hear this. (Kind of a “bitch-slap” if you know what I mean.)
    You clearly don’t subscribe to the “ porn alters your sexual taste, leads you down a bad path, but that’s not YOU and you can can be rewired”
    Thought process.

    You believe that he likes penis, and really prefers that. Shemale penis that is.

    Did you go through a phase of TS porn genre like many many others here?

    The porn is one thing, but the acting out with TS escorts is next level. I’m sure you agree.

    Thx again
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  17. majorfiddle23

    majorfiddle23 Fapstronaut

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    I like to think I am straight and I don't think about men in a sexual way and when I do, I feel weird as in I'm not even attracted to them.
    I have been on NoFap and since the start of my journey I visited 2 Transexuals and for me it was more a fantasy then anything else.
    I don't think your partner is Bi or anything like that. maybe try not judging him and instead explode your sex with him by suggesting pegging ? in my opinion, I think its a great idea!
     
  18. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You're welcome!

    I actually do think porn can alter someones sexuality. But it's not like flipping a switch. It takes a lot of time. He went so far down the rabbit hole seeing these transsexual hookers that at this point he isn't going to change. Not that it isn't possible. But that it's so unlikely that you don't need to deal with it.

    And yea it is clear he really likes penis. Why else would he be finding chicks with dicks instead of real chicks?

    I have watched and fapped to a few videos of TS porn but it wasn't my thing. The penises turned me off. Even in straight porn actually. I like the lesbian porn better. And femdom, so long as it doesn't involve other men.

    And yes I agree. Acting it out 10 times or more multiplies the attraction to the transsexuals. He's better off making one of them his girlfriend.

    I hope I've been of help and I hope you move on and that you are happy. Best of luck to you.
     
  19. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Fascinating thread. I read through the responses and see if all the helpful comments only one person has actually had been with a TS, the rest are just commenting —- anyways still it’s a good topic.

    I would be the second person here to give you actual feedback from having tried this.

    Finding trans for escorts is not easy to do. Finding escorts in general in the Us is not easy. I’m curious the age of the person since I have heard guys would use Craigslist or backpage to find them and these methods are fairly obsolete now. In other words access to this has changed so much, it may be cathartic to y’all about not triggering for him.

    I know trans porn somewhat well as it was/is a unique genre.

    I echo the remarks previously Made , there is a dick in all male-female porn scenes; why are we asking if the guys watching it are gay for trans? The fact they have a Penis and breasts suggest this genre is appealing more to gender confusion than homosexuality. There is a specific genre for hypnosis that tries to brainwash its viewers to worship dicks and become gay.

    If you believe being gay is not a choice then seeing the trans culture will not make sense. They appeal to straight men. Just like lesbian sex is mostly designed for straight men.

    Porn designed for woman is much more engaging typically. Less fucking more plot. At least if you see the way several porn websites categorize it that’s what they look for.

    As far as Why the genre pulls in straight guys, it’s more about the lengths a person will go to look Barbie like for another person including surgery. That attitude is provocative and shocking. Similar to the porn actresses, rock stars , or music artists who disfigure themselves to please their audiences or their warped imaginations.

    Porn is all about shock value. Thus the higher shock, the better unfortunately.

    I have sampled this flavor of escorts and the first time—-I was just curious—- it was really a strange mix of curiosity and fascination. The thing that you realize as a guy is , if you are an strong male— this is just another exercise in dominance. You want to dominate the TS.

    I understand some guys sign up for pegging , which I have no experience in, or threesomes which is easier to do than regular escorts.

    generally speaking, trannys are the most desperate type of escorts—- they generally have to accept worse conditions, less Pay, and have to be more aggressive to get business. They do not have a “normal” job opportunity in many places —- all that to say, this can make these encounters toxic.

    If you go to a red light district anywhere around the world, the trannys never ever ever mix with regular females. This is because they are outcasts and often mistreated.
    I’m not writing a documentary I just want to explore that this type of individual is far more desperate and loose than a basic escort.


    In my case, i didn’t want to kiss the person just to touch breasts etc. no intercourse.

    The second time i actually saw the person’s penis and it freaked me out.
    I still to this day remember the smell. I gagged. It was terrible. I remember thinking. “This is what girls have to put up with ?! Condoms taste nasty. Bleach.” Well I can say I tried it and promptly was aghast.

    The third and last time I realized I was getting accustomed to it. I always enjoyed the power of strength , but the last time I felt different things than what I had ever felt with a girl. Without being terribly graphic, I felt a “unique squeeze” that I have never experienced with female body parts. I determined I had “tried” it enough and since then have left it alone.

    I will say, I had trauma as a young boy and that my first sexual experiences were with a male cousin—- I have attributed my fascination to trannys based on this event.

    As for your specific scenario, I’d say that you need to ask a lot of questions to understand what drives this.

    Is he a bottom or a top?
    Was his encounters with different ppl everytime?
    Any repeat business ?
    Does he want to share about this part of his life ?
    will finding out the details cause unnecessary pain?
    Aré you a religious couple?
    What does he want this information to do for your relationship ?

    I don’t like the “should I stay with him question” because it infers he could do something that disqualifies him. If you feel he might be disqualified to be in a relationship with you—- why expose his dark secrets ?

    I find , the more open I am on what I have faced , the stronger I become as I walk to conquer it. I wish you the best in your own walk to determine who is best suited to walk alongside you in the tough road of life.
     
  20. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply. It’s very very helpful.

    First off escorts are extremely easy to find here in US. Just log on a site and there a 20-30 TS just ready to go. Eros is the name.

    He is VERY ashamed and really wont tell me much. He is very closed off and that’s a Huge problem in and of itself.

    Not sure if he is a top or bottom. But I suspect a bottom. I had asked him about anal penetration and he said “they tried once but it hurt”
    He said it was mainly for oral sex. But I suspect he gave oral as well. ( these are just hunches.) I just really don’t believe he is truthful due to shame though. So who really knows what he did or likes or craves. He won’t be honest.

    We are not religious..... but he is old compared to all you guys .....so he was raised in a home and time where any sort of homosexual ideas were frowned upon.

    So your questions.......
    he does not want to share anything.
    We are not religious.

    Info causing unnecessary pain....... do you mean for him? Or me?

    I want info because I really need to know the extent and depth of the behavior. Especially because it’s a risk to me if it’s going on and I don’t know.

    It looks like there were quite a variety of different escorts.

    Not sure about him being a repeat customer but my hunch is yes.

    Because one texted him “happy st Patrick’s Day”. And he responded “same to you”. He must have repeated with her. I looked her up an her “activities “ seem to be her dominant....... her the top and guys desperate to s**k her c**k.

    So I’m assuming this was what he liked.
    I wish he could just be honest.

    He says he “ is done”
    I fear he is in denial...... and urges will come that he cannot control and he will act out.

    Thank you for your time. It helps so much.
     
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