zilean

Fapstronaut, Male, 27, from Texas

Knocking out some things at work. Trying to keep in stride. May 22, 2024 at 2:27 PM

zilean was last seen:: May 23, 2024 at 8:48 AM

1. zilean
  Knocking out some things at work. Trying to keep in stride.
  
  May 22, 2024 at 2:27 PM
  1. +TenPercent likes this.
2. zilean
  Seem to have won the battle here at the hotel room. Hit their gym, now going to sleep.
  
  May 20, 2024 at 11:47 PM
  1. silex_jedi and Lou Bloom like this.
3. zilean
  Getting ready for church. Another day of travel tomorrow and the day after.
  
  May 19, 2024 at 8:30 AM
  1. Wizardrabbit and Lou Bloom like this.
  2. Bingles
    Have fun on your travels, zilean. :>
    
    May 19, 2024 at 9:08 AM
    
    Wizardrabbit likes this.
4. zilean
  Great! Trip down here. Did a little office work, teaching the class tomorrow and back on the road in the afternoon
  
  May 17, 2024 at 10:45 PM
  1. Wizardrabbit, silex_jedi and Lou Bloom like this.
5. zilean
  Hopping onto the road soon, thankful to not be alone, easier to be clean. So much travel in the weeks. Ready for all of it to start.
  
  May 17, 2024 at 8:41 AM
  1. Wizardrabbit and Lou Bloom like this.
6. zilean
  had a good workout and run this afternoon.
  
  May 15, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, LostSon41, HenryforwardV2 and 2 others like this.
7. zilean
  Renewing my mind, one day at a time, looking to the Lord.
  
  May 13, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and 1 other person like this.
8. zilean
  The Unmentionable Podcast from Compel Studio has me thinking about the effects of immorality can have on a person. Comes with a grace story!
  
  May 8, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, silex_jedi, Lou Bloom and 2 others like this.
9. zilean
  After going on a date, I can begin to see how PMO would impact that. It’d be like cheating.
  
  May 6, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, Lou Bloom, silex_jedi and 1 other person like this.
10. zilean
  I don’t think I fully believe PMO is bad for me. I know it’s a don’t do from scripture, but I’m not locked in on my why.
  
  May 5, 2024
  1. Lou Bloom, Wizardrabbit and Don80 like this.
  2. Don80
    Because the brain knows that it's a shortcut to easy dopamine. That's what the game is about: saying no to short-term pleasures that are harmful in the long run or aren't aligned with your values. There's always a price you have to pay. Think what you lose for a temporary pleasure.
    
    May 5, 2024
    
    zilean and Wizardrabbit like this.
  3. Deleted Account
    From a faith perspective, I would say it’s bad because it reduces our neighbor to parts instead of focusing on them as a whole; made in the image of God. As Pope John Paul II said: “Porn doesn’t show too much of a person, it shows far too little”. We were created to love and porn is not loving.
    
    May 5, 2024
    
    zilean and Don80 like this.
11. zilean
  my sleep schedule's been busted. gotta try and reset that.
  
  May 3, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, Lou Bloom and Wizardrabbit like this.
12. zilean
  Volunteered today and ate lunch with a lady friend. Washed clothes, hung them, strummed guitar. Pretty good day. No relapse temptations
  
  Apr 27, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, Rocky Mountain, GodsDaughter and 3 others like this.
13. zilean
  MO’d yesterday. Going to reset the counter. Not thoughts of images. Too much YouTube and was looking for more excitement
  
  Apr 27, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, Wizardrabbit and Lou Bloom like this.
  2. zilean
    Update in the journal
    
    Apr 27, 2024
    
    Wizardrabbit likes this.
14. zilean
  Journaled last night, “why did I start recovery?” Good reminders. Onto a new day. Ty Jesus for being my sin offering that made me clean!
  
  Apr 25, 2024
  1. luxtorpeda, Wizardrabbit and Lou Bloom like this.
15. zilean
  “Praise God from whom all blessing flow…”
  
  Apr 24, 2024
  1. Wizardrabbit, GodsDaughter, Lou Bloom and 1 other person like this.
16. zilean
  Feeling really rough today. Brain ain't firing, not motivated to do things. Stressors at work. Just want some wins
  
  Apr 23, 2024
  1. Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and Ghost️ like this.
17. zilean
  That weekend strength reminds me of the verse where he mounts us up on “wings like eagles, they will walk and not faint”
  
  Apr 22, 2024
  1. Wizardrabbit, Dying Light, Lou Bloom and 2 others like this.
  2. zilean
    Thank you lord for being faithful and showing your word to be trustworthy
    
    Apr 22, 2024
    
    Wizardrabbit and Ghost️ like this.
18. zilean
  Conquered the weekend! One more thing tomorrow, and get to rest. Praise god for his strength to carry me through!
  
  Apr 20, 2024
  1. Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and Ghost️ like this.
19. zilean
  Conquering some stresses at work. Just feels like I can’t get everything done. Need to bring my hope of heaven into todays reality.
  
  Apr 17, 2024
  1. Wizardrabbit likes this.
20. zilean
  Rode the dopamine train too far. Needed to have pumped the breaks. Details in my journal.
  
  Apr 14, 2024
  1. Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and silex_jedi like this.
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About

Gender:

Male

Birthday:

Aug 21, 1996 (Age: 27)

Location:

Texas

Journal Thread Link:

View my Journal

It began in 5th or 6th grade, about age 11-12 and has followed me many many years till now at age 25.

I grew up in a Christian home without father, who left before i was born. I found the Lord at a young age at 6 and committed my life to Christ, and loved to follow him.

Once this shackle attached itself to me, I was truly serving two masters. I desired all my life to be freed from this hinderance. I faithfully continue walking with the Lord to this day, but the reality of what that means only began to start hitting.

Self Control. I have thought that I had been exhibiting this fruit of the spirit, i was easily angered as a kid when an injustice was done to me in a game, but grew out of that stage. But it has been in these past couple of years that I realized that I lack self-control in denying my self the temporal pleasures of PMO and choosing life that can be had abundantly.

For a while I was focused on modifying my behavior while neglecting the heart and reason for these things. My anxiety to engage with girls after being told not to have a girlfriend till I graduate college. My longing to be in an intitmate relationship with another while my friends all began to move that direction (as much a middle schooler could do). Wishing I could just be held by someone.

And so, I begin my documented NoFap Journey on April 14, 2020 to have daily checkins and just have a place to write out what I have been feeling and the healing that can come.
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