I'm new to this site, and i need help with something Because of this addiction, i have little to no confidence in myself. I literally feel like any little thing i may say or do, is annoying to others. A few friends would even say that they think i bring myself down too much. It's so annoying. Can anyone help me on ways that i can practice to boost it up? FYI i am a male
Stop being overcritical of yourself. I think you're probably a perfectionist and want to be perfect in public..no mistakes etc. Best mindset is not to care what anyone things, just be yourself and don't worry about being perfect. It doesn't matter what strangers think for example as they don't know you. And in reality it doesn't matter what anyone things, because you know yourself..your morals, integrity etc and you can be the judge of yourself. An obvious step would be quitting pmo (and pm forever) if it's the root cause of the issue edit: thinks not things
PMO is most certainly the root cause. And, i'm not gonna lie, i do feel like i need to be perfect. I also doubt myself for literally almost everything that i do, which sucks. But thanks for the advice.
Start doing things that make you respect and proud of yourself is a good way to build some confidence. It can be anything such as reading, making your bed everyday, doing homework, exercise, eating health, cold shower, nofap are some popular examples around here. It really dosent matter what it is as long as you want to do whatever it is. Pmo is definatly a major root cause but adding the little things really help give some extra confidence once you stop pmo'ing for a few weeks.
That's true. But the thing is, i exercise often, i eat healthy often, and i love reading informational books. But it still doesn't help me. It's weird.
Dude I can so relate to what you are going through you have no f*****ing idea. I think I have severe social anxiety, I'm afraid to talk to people. New people, old people it doesn't matter, talking to people face to face causes so much fear in me. I don't feel like I can commit to doing anything I start. I worry about what other people think of me. And I always feel so insecure and that people won't like me. F that shit. No more. -> You have to believe in your own goodness. -> Identify what you are good at. Your strengths. -> Gratitude. Feel good for things that you have and stuff. PMO caused great darkness in me probably it won't go away ever,. But don't give up. Believe in something, yourself, or god or in higher power or that things WILL get better. I feel like life is so much awesome if we are confident. On the other hand, it sucks to have low self esteem bro. Hang i there! Do thing to improve. don't just avoid porn and feel better. Form good habits. Work out, go running, meditate, eat healthy. I'm not the person to say, but that's that.
That’s sucks, man. But thanks so much for the advice. A lot of those things I would already do, except running
I hear you man on being a perfectionist and doubting yourself alot which I can totally relate. If you constantly set high expectations on yourself you will probably experience alot of failure and disappointment. Its mostly pressure you may be putting on yourself and not so much what others are doing. The mind can be very powerful and manipulative. If you remind yourself that we tend to create our own suffering and we have the power to end that it may help out. Hope that helps. Take care
The base problem lies in your daily habits. Start a regulated pattern of sleep, healthy diet, exercise. After giving up pmo for 4 days you will notice tremendous gains. Then do read some inspirational books. Start hanging out with friends. Slowly after sometime, you will realise you changed to be a better person. Most importantly have some life goals and start working on it. Soon you will transform. A bit of spirituality would also benefit....
You are several stapes ahead of me, as I only do some of them every day. Like If I ate good food one day the next day I binge on crap food. I would love to go running everyday but I seldom don't. Same is with working out. The day I learn to be consistent and disciplined, I'd be a fucking Legend.
You just gotta schedule your life and schedule your day. That way, you can get everything you wanna do done.