The title says it all...because as a 26 year old I think I can muscle out porn and prostitutes... #FAIL If you remember me off my main another again thread below: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/another-again.82285/#post-660854 One bonus is that I found out a few months ago the church where I really went into my Christian faith and got shamed for always sinning (and never could get out of despair), the Pastor I was under basically fooled us all and was the biggest hypocrite and devil, so basically I had joined a cult at the time. YAYYYYY!!! SMH all that aside Im just trying to start a water fast till Thanksgiving and restart myself after abandoning my diet. S/O to the Christian Fapstronauts and if there any Black Fapstronauts here that would be AWESOME! Also have basically no real core group of constant friends I see every weekend and SUCK at being social. Do not know what to do besides gym if I want to try to get out of the house to be social, especially as a black person in particular preferring (yet not limiting certainly since at the moment i go to a predominately white church with people I don't really hang out with often) to be in social settings where they are that I can go as a loner. ANYWAY I type on and on, lets try again...AGAIN...
Welcome back @bigbuford. It great that you decided to come back to get help although it sucks that you had to come back period. There are black fapstronauts here but I would suggest that you learn from whomever you can. I do understand the desire to bond with someone similar to self but your church life may be an example of what you need right now, the opportunity to bond and help and receive help from whoever is willing to give it. Allow God to guide you and the relationships (friendships) you desire will come to pass in due time. Considering this is a global site it can be difficult to meet people not only of your same race but from your same country and more difficult to meet those anywhere near you part of the country. In addition to myself, I would suggest you follow @Lazarus Shuttlesworth. Since you have returned, what have you mistakes have you learned from while you were gone?
@D.J> Much appreciated sir. I have full intention of learning from everyone no doubt yet there is always that extra joy from having a connection with people whether it be physical, spiritual, etc. I definitely will probably mostly be linking up with Christian Faps but I am guaranteed that versus those who may be black however. Not every one in each race needs, wants, or cares about that camaraderie but for me it would be cool to have similar kinsmen to the flesh such as @Lazarus Shuttlesworth. I will say of course tho the most important one is the Christian brotherhood tho as there is no difference biologically between the jew, gentile, roman, greek, black, white, asian, latino etc. Yet even back then there were biases and I am sure each group dealt with as well as enjoyed being able to talk as well as fellowship amongst their own at times and with other groups. Yet let us get to the meat of the question. Whatever did I learn from my mistakes? Man oh man, really mostly going through the phase of relearning what I should of known. The chances that you will be able to do this on your own is very unlikely. There may be individuals out there who are able to accomplish this, but most of us are going to need encouragement in overcoming this evil that has constantly plagued us most of our lives. Not to mention I suppose I was being extremely prideful in just being so frustrated and just giving up. I might as well just keep trying again. I think one thing that will help is I got a new accountability partner who I think will keep on me a little harder than my other partners who were struggling with similar issues. Tho before one was my elder I just was unable to take him serious when I started to fool around and fall and he did not confront me every week or talk about what he may of saw in the reports. I got comfortable and it is on me also for not stressing how important it was for me to push him to be more accountable. I was light because he was always working sudden shifts at all the times of the day and could not check the email. In addition it came out later he also is having his moments with this sin. In a way I just did not see the point in doing the accountability route but I just had to add others who would be serious and willing to watch and call me out. One thing that is huge is what I mentioned about my first Pastor in reality being a false Shepard because he was never encouraging me in the faith nor the fight. I just felt heaps of condemnation all the time for him. It seemed he was doing the most sacrificial life and was living biblically even if I left two years earlier. Well the truth was revealed and his church is now dissolved. I was blessed to leave when I did the others that attended there were not nearly as luck at all. Therefore I can now move a little better in going forth in faith. Like the man whose son was dying, I believe, but Lord help my unbelief. Though I still wrestle with the memory and pain from that wolf, I can take heart in believe the Lord will push me on even though I fall constantly...even sometimes so easily. He will renew me everyday. I haven't hit three days in a while...lets keep this run going and go ahead and reach the seven. After that I want the thirty. I have NEVER gotten to that point while fighting PMO.
Just to make sure edging is when you have a sexual thought correct? I had a 3 min thought Saturday and even tho I did not touch myself by the time I came back to reality I had some semen (not a lot I guess it was precum) out of my penis. That is a reset right?
Man...I feel better about this attempt to stay off the PMO. Real talk. And screw that 3 min fantasy im calling roday Day 5 attempt no PMO or is it 6? I last PMO last Tuesday.
Edging is masturbation without ejaculation. A sexual thought is just a sexual thought, though a sexual thought that lingers is fantasizing.
I will definitely walk with you it may be helpful for you to see a Black guy who has walked far on his journey.
Thank you man. Its day 6 and I slept all day after work due to a stupid mistake I started yet keep digging a hole for. Yet the bright side is I have not felt tempted. Somehow that includes when I am awake. I believe luckily it is because I am in school so that keeps me busy but I am doing a lot of reading about Christianity, theology, Christianity and race, race itself, other cultures and race, etc. I have plenty to keep me occupied right now and that is great.
I don't feel any change yet either but honestly I don't care either. Not right now anyway and I do look most forward to change but I feel the super power I have now is just not watching porn again yet. I want to hold on to that one the most and I know I can lose it at any time.
Idk I guess this is the intro post so I might as well use that one. However I don't exactly own the original posting to that one anymore either. This is a whole new account.
