A Progressive Challenge-A different kind of challenge- all levels

Definately! I’m at work all day and I know what I have to do to keep myself away from it when I get home

 

1/7.

Sometimes I think that I’ll never be able to break with PMO fully. That tought makes me afraid.

Had a pretty good day today. No urges, but it’s day 1 so that doesn’t mean much. I try not to think about anything related to PMO, even if it’s something positive like this website.

 

Relapsed sunday after 27 days and again today...

My goal is 30 days now, because I was so close.
The difference I noticed the most is that my workouts where so much better on this streak then they have been the last two days. After an hour and a half I still wanted to work out and now I just want to go home after 45 minutes in the gym.
The changes I'm going to make this time is that first of all no more peeking at P sites at all times. I count this from now on as a relapse too. And also no more social media, because this is where it most of the times begins. And I'm going to try to meditate once a day.

 

Probably that because my balls also hurt now lol

Sooo... well, she friendzoned me. She apologized and said that she spent a lot of time asking herself what I meant to her and two days ago she concluded that she got into me because she was just left by her last boyfriend and I was the person she felt was closest to her. She said that, however, she really likes me and would love if we could still hang out.
It was kind of a letdown, but I really enjoy her company anyways and I wasn't THAT into her, although it would have been really really nice to become engaged with her because we really are rather well-matched, so we'll definitely keep seeing each other and I'm happy anyways. Also she definitely cares about me because she wanted to tell me in person while we were alone, she was also very worrried that I wouldn't talk to her anymore and was very happy when i said it was OK.
And, what's most important, I will not let this kill my streak.
Now let's find another one!

 

I’ve gotten a whole week in the past so I’m shooting for two weeks no pmo

 

I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING INSIDE ME TELLS ME TO RELAPSE F*** !!

Okay, I thinkk it's the best time for me to go to sleep before I do anything stupid

 

Day 8 easier to wake up in the morning, less coffee still jacked with energy

 

I also have voices inside my head, and they tell me a lot of things, but you do not have to listen to them

 

Dude there must be something in the air....planetary alignment or the holidays....the feeling that rationalizes a reset....you are NOT alone!! Congratulations on getting this far and for sharing your concerns and challenges...I would like you to reassess the app you downloaded but if it’s something you need just try to set clear boundaries as to when and where you use it.

How can we/I help?

 

SOMETHING I'VE NOTICED!

Whenever I feel depressed, I try to associate that with giving in to the addiction.
When I feel joyous, I associate that with the feeling of knowing I abstained.

Just connections I am trying to make.

 

Day 10. Double Digits!

 

Thanks, man!
As far as the app goes, it’s definitely not something I need. I finally came to terms with that today. I was totally using it as a P-sub (I picked up that term thanks to someone who responded to a post of mine reaching out for help over the weekend—and the shoe fits!), so I’m placing it off limits.

For now, being here is how you all are helping me. I seriously get a lot out of coming here and reading all kinds of different posts. Whether it be that you’ve reached double digits in your progressive challenge, like in this thread (that’s you, @StayMotivated2017 !), that you’ve started a challenge like this one (thanks, @DerNeuMann !), posting about success stories, posting to journals, posting questions about rebooting, I’m still reading a lot and trying at a minimum to give my likes where I can.

You may have noticed I was reading your journal earlier today, @J. Fylz . One takeaway I got from it (among several) is the idea of getting an accountability partner. That seems to be working really well for you. I’m going to look into that as I still feel pretty new to this and there’s a part of me that’s craving attention and probably wanting someone to ask difficult questions of me that I keep putting off dealing with myself.

Anyway, I don’t mean to get off topic or hi-jack the thread, but I do want to lend my support and express my appreciation to everyone who’s participating and everyone on this site, really.

Less than 24 hours to go until I reach the first of my progressive goals: the big THREE-OH!
What’s a good way to celebrate??? Heheheh

 

It doesn't help me dude..
That's the kind of messages that made me want to relapse even more back in the day

 

Good for you, man! Even once is still really, really impressive. Well done

 

Just know that those voices are your brain desperately trying to get that dopamine rush again. Let's think about it this way:
Someone very close to you, maybe your mom, maybe your daughter, is addicted to heroin. She loves the rush it gives her. You talk to her and convince her to try to quit. A few days in, and you catch her trying to sneak past you and leave the house to go back to her addiction because she feels like she needs it, even though you know for a fact that her going back is only going to hurt her. Remember, this is pretty much what's happening in your brain right now. The logical, sensible, smart part of your brain is "you" in this example, and the part of your brain that's just trying to run back to the endorphin rush because you feel like you need it is your loved one. You know in your heart that going back would hurt you and it's bad for you, so don't let yourself run out of that metaphorical house. You can do this. You have the power.

 

As for anyone wondering about this, there are a few reasons, I suppose.
1. I've worked hard to build this streak, and I love the boost in productivity and confidence (among other things) that it's giving me. It's been a long climb to get here, and although I have a long way to go, I'm not about to give up. One of my biggest problems at the beginning was oggling at girls and saving my fantasies for that following night, where I'd PMO. I'd always be afraid and nervous around these girls because I was ashamed of what I'd done, and I never noticed features that matter more, like a cute smile. Since I quit PMO I've started using the 3 second method, and it's the main thing that's helped me build a streak this high. Staring then would go against my 3 second rule, and tempt me to throw away my entire streak for some guilty desire. *Note: It's okay to have sexual desires for a girl! Nothing's wrong with that! It's called being attracted to women, that's how it works! What matters is how you act on it. You can be a boy and run away with your tail between your legs, PMO at home and feel ashamed of what you've done. OR. You can be a man, and talk to the girl. You get rejected, oh well, you're a man. You don't, good for you! Way better than PMO! Anyways...
2. Since I've quit PMO I've started building stronger relationships with some girls I'd just have oggled at before I quit. Staring at this girl's butt would've tarnished the relationship I've started to build with her, as it would have replaced some of my "awe, cute" thoughts of her with "object I would have sexual intercourse with" thoughts of her, thereby hurting what I'd started to build between us and damaging any chance I had with her in the first place.

 

2/30

 

2/30. Nothing special in my life. The cough is getting better, so I am going back to my everyday routine of exercising and cold showers. But that´s a habbit I have stuck to for years now, so I don´t expect it would change much. What is harder to cope with are my awakening ambitions. I´m 45 and the many lost opportunities of my life give me much pain. And it´s difficult to admit that I´ve burried many of them already because my PA. So I feel mostly sorrow.
I´m trying to get back to my young years and remember what I used to do then, what I loved to do then, and figure out what my real passions might be and what is just a substitute for them. I´m not sure of anything right now. Tought times.

 

We are going to have tough times and since starting all this I have many thoughts of regret etc. Normally with anything emotional I would bury it with P. I am having to properly deal with these thoughts etc. I am here for ya. Same days. I am 35 from the UK. Feel free to PM me about anything