Unable to fight the urge

The first 20d are their hardest imo. The best way to beat it during that initial time is to keep yourself occupied and make the p unavailable. You could try:
Cold showers
Push ups each time you have urge
Exercise - run,run,run
Stay around friends and family as much as possible
Avoid unihibiting drugs
Find accountability partner to text when desire occurs.
Web blocker
Avoid lust in all forms (fantasy)
Avoid computer and phone
Move furniture around to emphasize life change
Get therapist
Find inspiring booK

 

Hey, I totally know what you mean.

I asked a similar question but I didn't get the answers I needed ...
(https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/massive-cravings.72946/#post-603186 )

Some things you could do immediately are these:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...them-details-during-reboot.65138/#post-556415

And if you think, you can't fight it, then it's ok. I couldn't handle it with the willpower method, too.
So try "easy" mode first, as Gary Wilson recommends: Just remove P from your life, and MO for the next few weeks as much you need to. (At least that's somehow working for me). In this mean time your brain fog gets better and you can improve on the other fronts.

And my current approach is this one (even if it not that intuitive it seems to work)
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...op-smoking-applying-the-method-to-pmo.155008/
Check out the book if you keep relapsing.

Good luck !

 

I did it after years of trying by making web blocks i cant bybass and today is my longest time without fapping on porn in 12 years! I never had chance to fight urgers, because there was stress etc. So much around.

 

Yeah, I've heard the MO without the P seems to work. I guess for me I've built such a dependency on visual material for sexual stimulation that I crave porn or I can't really go to town on myself. I used to be able to when I was younger but I only seem to have gotten more stupid in some ways. Good luck with your journey!

 

Are you single? Im a marriage or nothing person. Get married would be my advice.

 

This so absurd solution that it made me laugh

 

Yeah

Quite part from that there are more immediate solutions to that, it's almost impossible in such a state to find a decent partner.

I'd agree with you so far, that if you are in a "traditional" society with sensible legislation this would be less of a problem.
But in western societies with rampant feminism this almost guarantees misery in the future.
If you don't believe me, just check out the stories the MRA & MGTOW tell and form an opinion for yourself.

 

The "urge" is victimizing you, eh? You are a human being, and therefore the urges are unavoidable. The urges are going to stay with you! They will randomly appear, in the morning, afternoon and evening! They will always be looking for an opportunity to slay you, LoL. So long as you choose to perceive yourself as a victim to your urges, and to complain about them, then there is no hope for you.

Alternatively, you can stop blaming your "urges" and stop complaining about them. You must accept that you created your life the way it is, and that only you can begin making plans to improve things. The urges aren't going to ever go away, so the only hope you have of ever being happy is to refuse to be a victim. You need to take 100% responsibility, and stop blaming and complaining about what life is bringing your way.

Disappointments happen to everyone. They aren't special gifts reserved for chronic fappers! Everyone has them. It's what you do in response to them that changes everything. It's not what happens that determines your destiny, it's what you do that changes everything.

E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)

Urge + Play Victim = PMO
Urge + Don't Blame or Complain = Abstain

 

The formulation is a bit mean (or direct, depends on your viewpoint), but yeah,
I can agree with you there.

On the other hand @Ece22 , if you want a more gentle variant, (as I wrote earlier) read Allen Carr's book for a nice reframing of the urges.
And take it easy (literally), I had the whole day urges, but they don't bother me anymore.

Also I slowly understand, that the wording may be really important: "abstain" sounds to negative, and goes more in the direction as if you are deprived of something. I guess there is some power in it, if you reframe it as "be free" (of urges).

 

I’ve told so many people this: as soon as the urge starts you need to cut it off. When the urge first starts it’s fairly easy to say no but if you cling onto the desire then it will grow and u will relapse. So, when you see something that triggers you or get a sexual thought think of something else asap.

 

I'm not trying to sound mean, but I realize that I do come across that way sometimes. But if you read success books, you'll notice that the authors don't sugar coat when they discuss this topic. I'll keep searching for ways to be less blunt about it.

 

haha true. i get the idea that people date for 10 years, then get married when their about to die lol.

 

That's why I wrote "(or direct) depends on your viewpoint"
and I should have written "The formulation may sound a bit mean"
So, maybe my point came across not right, as it was not meant to criticise you. It's good to be direct and don't sugar coat too much.
Stay blunt about that, it's good. Maybe add some disclaimer at the end, that it's just blunt for constructive/ self improvement purposes and it's not meant to be mean in any way.

 

The disclaimer is a great idea.

I also found this great 3 minute video that explains it in a much more positive way:

 

This has happened to be few times. I gave up on NoFap because I thought I failed beyond words.

I am into self-improvement so I listen to some success stories. I have seen videos of people that share their success stories. So this time when I started NoFap so far I didn't feel an irresistible urge. The only things abnormal which happened were in dreams like seeing naked women etc.

 

I think that the only cure for PMO, is to design and live an exceptional life. People who settle for mediocrity will likely always struggle. We only get one life. To spend most of it working a job, and then to barely scrape by in retirement, is a pathetic way to live. Those people will always struggle with addictive behaviours, IMO. People who set goals to become rich, and to have exceptional life experiences, will be able to leave PMO and other addictive behaviours behind permanently, IMO.