@fercho29 I celebrate with you. That's a great story! And I like this parallel very much: To stay in that picture: I just started climbing the mountain
fercho...what u have said is pure truth and i would especially appreciate ur very lovely wife who understood u. may u both stay happy and happy and happy and yesssss.........happy alwayss
Thank you so much @be smart and intelligent for your kind words. Some days we are better than others, some days we are happier than others, but the important thing is that we survived this big challenge and we are still together Stay strong Fercho
I just had an awful, 5 hour-long relapse after a good week...and your post has really inspired me to get up again. Thank you.
Great story! Very encouraging. Did you ever tell your wife about the prostitutes? Sounded like you may have been a cruiser too? Or just the porn addiction? I've been sober from porn and stuff for 22 days and feel great! Have messed with escorts too and just don't see the benefit in telling her..
Hi @looking Binging after a relpase is very common, this is why we need to avoid relapsing at all. Ebery day you stay clean is a better reason not to relapse, because you need to start all over from zero It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear. I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up. I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978 I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too: http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318 You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post: http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2 I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction. To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this. Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction. Let's keep on fighting Fercho
Hi @FreeME456 , no, I never told her about the escorts nor the random hook ups. It would have been too much for her to accept all this. It had been almost 3 years now from this post, and I am still surprised sometimes about the low level I fell due to my addiction. Some nights I still remember my affairs while I am falling asleep, and they feel like nightmares. Even after 3 years I still feel guilty about all the shit I did, even if I can understand now that I was “ under the influence “ of the addiction Fercho
It sounds like you've done a lot of healing and made great progress in your recovery. However, it saddens me to hear you weren't fully honest with your wife about the escorts and other women (and men too from what I can tell from your above post although I may have misread that part.) That means your new relationship with her is not fully based on truth, and honesty which from what I understand is one of the central themes of recovery from any addiction - taking responsibility and making amends for any wrong doing. She may only have stayed due to knowing about the P addiction whereas knowing about the escorts might have made her leave. This means you didn't give her the whole truth on which to base her decision, and you have therefore technically controlled the outcome of the relationship for your own gain (a loving wife) rather than facing up to the consequences of her knowing the truth (which may or may not have had the same result). Also, you put her body at risk of stds so an act of love would be telling her so she could get checked out (for hpv for example, which can lead to cervical cancer).
Hi @Ceridwen , actually this post is almost 3 years old, for some reason it "came back to life this month again". I will celebrate 3 years of PMO free life tomorrow. During these 3 years I did discuss with my wife the things I did while I was under the influence of the addiction. We had a very tough time until we could recover the trust and love, and I would say that our relationship never got back to the same level of deep love than before. But our marriage got fixed enough to decide that we wanted to stay together. I past the stage on my recovery when i was feeling guilty all the time. On my 8th month of recovery I started remembering that I was sexually molested by 3 older kids in the school restroom. My brain shut down all these memories due to the trauma and embarrassment i felt, and this is when i started developing the PMO addiction. Thanks to the rehabilitation i could start remembering and coping with this trauma. Life takes inimaginable turns. Fortunately God gave me the another chance Fercho
Thank you @ALEX_88 . Actually I will celebrate 3 years of reboot tomorrow. For some "magic reason" my first month celebration came back to life...right on time to remind me how much I struggled by then Fercho
I'm really glad you worked it out with your wife, it sounds like a long and committed healing journey. Sorry to hear what happened to you as a child, nobody should ever experience abuse of any kind. I can relate as I'm waiting for trauma therapy myself to find out why I keep doing 'trauma re enactment.' No memories but I know something happened. It's so important to find the root cause and heal it finally. Good luck on your continued path of recovery ☺
Damn 3 years is very nice. I remember I had 90 day streak 3 years ago but back then didnt know about nofap and broke streak. Is this your first streak on nofap Fercho or did you relapsed too?
thank u gentleman..u make my day ...from last 15 years i was struck in PM every single day.....after reading ur post i got confidence ..that i can quit PM..THANKS FOR INTRODUCING this man Ran Gavrieli.....may god bless u with all happiness sucess....