Celebrating the first month of my new life, the happiest day in my last decades

That is a great intensive to stay clean as any other @Duellant !
Stay strong
Fercho

 

Thank you so much @be smart and intelligent for your kind words. Some days we are better than others, some days we are happier than others, but the important thing is that we survived this big challenge and we are still together
Stay strong
Fercho

 

Hi @looking
Binging after a relpase is very common, this is why we need to avoid relapsing at all. Ebery day you stay clean is a better reason not to relapse, because you need to start all over from zero

It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
Let's keep on fighting

Fercho

 

Hi @FreeME456 , no, I never told her about the escorts nor the random hook ups. It would have been too much for her to accept all this.
It had been almost 3 years now from this post, and I am still surprised sometimes about the low level I fell due to my addiction.
Some nights I still remember my affairs while I am falling asleep, and they feel like nightmares.
Even after 3 years I still feel guilty about all the shit I did, even if I can understand now that I was “ under the influence “ of the addiction
Fercho

 

Hi @Ceridwen , actually this post is almost 3 years old, for some reason it "came back to life this month again".
I will celebrate 3 years of PMO free life tomorrow. During these 3 years I did discuss with my wife the things I did while I was under the influence of the addiction. We had a very tough time until we could recover the trust and love, and I would say that our relationship never got back to the same level of deep love than before. But our marriage got fixed enough to decide that we wanted to stay together. I past the stage on my recovery when i was feeling guilty all the time. On my 8th month of recovery I started remembering that I was sexually molested by 3 older kids in the school restroom. My brain shut down all these memories due to the trauma and embarrassment i felt, and this is when i started developing the PMO addiction. Thanks to the rehabilitation i could start remembering and coping with this trauma.
Life takes inimaginable turns.
Fortunately God gave me the another chance
Fercho

 

Thank you @ALEX_88 . Actually I will celebrate 3 years of reboot tomorrow. For some "magic reason" my first month celebration came back to life...right on time to remind me how much I struggled by then
Fercho