It seems most people are drawn to lusting over things that are kind’ve messed up or hurtful. Even if they really in their heart don’t want to hurt anyone. This has been a big problem for me and is what landed me here. I was masturbating a lot to things that were hurtful to my SO in a very signifant way. Fantasizing about her family members, etc. Obviously porn plays a big part in this and I’m sure the rebooting process can only help. I guess I’m just curious if anyone has read any studies as to why people do that. And also if anyone has any thoughts or techniques of how to put your lust more in line with your heart and brain. Thanks
@Here2learn17 , I've wondered the same thing as far as how to put my lust more in line with my heart and brain. I fantasize often and have since I was a little kid; I'm talking 6 years old. I may just talk to a sex counselor and hopefully get answers to many of my questions. I'll post back when I see her and talk. Stay strong, my friend.
The graver the taboo, the more the dopamine. It's like stealing candy from a kid escalating to stealing a million dollars from the most secure bank in the world.
There are no Heathy sexual fantasies , Once you fantasies is just creats a false vison of how someone should look and act the reality of it may be complete oposet , and that leads to anger and frustration not to mention when you build someon up in your mind like that you create false expectations and when there not meet you get pissed and upset and yes depressed . Do like I do I always say " we'll see" when I am dating someone because I suck at mind reading I wish I didn't though lol.
What a conundrum! A lot of factors drove me to my dark fantasies … but will they ever leave my head? I’ve looked at porn (one video) in the past 450+ days but of something triggers one of those fantasies- the dopamine rush is so intense it pushes me to the brink of orgasm.