I realized that everytime after I've masturbated, I feel extremely guilty, and I feel a lot of self-hate. Anyone know why?
I never felt guilty as much as the combo of depression and anger for allowing myself to dump precious life energy on fantasy entertainment. Having to wait for four days until the tanks got full again and the energy level up to par again...and for what? Just to spill my load again to live my life like a scratched LP that always skips.
I never understood enough to feel guilty until I got here. Now that I realize how much of my life I squandered on this, I really feel lousy when I relapse.
I can relate with the depression and empty feeling while one waits for a recharge....only to waste it all down and then it is a full circle of wastage again damn! PMO IS SHIT!
Theres no reason to feel guilty in a moral sense. In fact if I tried my best on a streak, and did PMO, there's no reason to feel guilty or bad about it at all. I did my best, and that was enough for now. So the guilt is definitely mis-placed. I don't think there is anything morally wrong with PMO. I guess I would kinda wish things had worked out differently. I would feel like, "Aw, man. I'm gonna lose my benefits, such as improved dream recall. I'm gonna be stuck in active addiction now. I wonder what could have happened if I kept going." But I actually practiced not feeling guilt in my recent returns to PMO after streaks. I was just like, "Well, time for another phase of enjoying PMO, I guess. Let's see when the roller coaster lets me off." I think the guilt is programmed into children but its not actually anything to feel guilty about.
Hey I feelt guilty because I was surrendering and watching porn once. Because I know what I could have and that i feelt me better and I feelt like the days I holded on was for nothing...
Guilt is really just a sign you betrayed what you know is your better self. It should not linger. It should make you see the need to do differently next time.
Before becoming christian i dont remember feeling guilt, as i approached more to God guilt appeared, when i turned my back on God guilt disminished but still was there.
Because you're essentially out of your mind while doing it. Your brain is in full on addict mode and all it wants is its drug, ij this case PMO. Once you get it and satisfy the addiction is fades away and you're back to thinking clearly which gives you the regret of doing something so stupid and also if you're trying to get clean, the feeling of "There goes my progress"