IGY: your posts make me wish that nofap.org had a Like button like facebook. MW: I thought you were older as well. Everyone else: (we should totally start calling him "Happy" and see if it catches)
Hmm interesting. Well I'm sure you've thought this out heavily and I think if you believe this is what you want you should do it. So what is your passion what is it you want to achieve? I would say you should be friends with her because well having friends is the greatest gift in the world. But if this is what you really want then go for it, its rare to find someone who knows what they truly want to do. I would say you should try to date a girl first before making your decision final. But you might get the feelings that I got. I think it was south park he was talking about how he felt sad but you have to have felt really happy to feel that sad. I remember my first high school break up a whole week I didn't train I just sat there thinking about how much better I would have been had I never talked to her but I got over it and we had a talk and I learned where I messed up. But best of luck to you good luck in your next weightlifting meet hope you get some prs.
Wow, thanks for all the info purity, I really appreciate it. A lot of people seem to think I'm older. I guess it's just the way I write. I feel "mature" for my age, whatever that means. I've done alot of thinking already, during a time in life when many people don't think much at all. Thanks finalfight. For religious reasons I can't really date just to date. No sex before marriage either. So it's basically court with a view to marriage or nothing. I guess this fact also adds to my decision to stay celibate.
Thanks Earnest Lee. This was raised as a possibility but Able, the forum leader, closed the thread which was very frustrating! http://www.nofap.com/forum/showthread.php?25741-Can-we-Like-or-1-posts-in-here
Actually I was wondering about this. How come this thread is rated with five stars if the ability to rate threads has been revoked? This thread was posted after that option disappeared...
Hey im new here, i know that feeling man, its deep and no matter how hard you try to ignore it,it still gets hard (no pun intended)but im gonna try as much things as i can to stop myself from PMO starting by putting pictures of my family smiling around my computer!hope it helps
I didn't read every post because there is alot, but I think it might be worthwhile to throw in my two cents here anyway, for what its worth (about 2 cents). I don't think its wrong for you to see beauty in a woman, even if you want to remain celibate (which is awesome). Part of what being a woman is is being beutiful. And part of what being a man is is being attracted to beauty. Sure its wrong to lust after a woman, but its not wrong to appreciate beauty for what it is. And I don't think you should beat yourself up for having the desire. Its in our biology as men to want it. As a man of faith you'll probably agree that God put that desire in us, and its a good desire. I really respect your choice to remain celibate. Jesus is the most famous celibate, and true he was tempted and overcame, but beyond that, he is the creator, He made woman beautiful. He knew what he was doing. Its a good thing. Hope those words mean something to you, keep going strong! Lucca
God put the desire in us, but also assured us he would help us live by the spirit, not the flesh. The bible explicitly states it's better to be celibate. Both Jesus and Paul said so. The only stipulation being that marriage is better then formication. I think I'm capable of living a chaste single life.
"But Our Culture is Based on Appearance Despite this fairly easy-to-understand premise of the illusion of correlation between appearance and truth, our culture is based upon encouraging people to care deeply about appearances. When people care about appearances, they buy things to make them appear more beautiful, wealthy, noble, educated, etc. When people buy things, the economy does well and rich people get richer. When people buy things, businesses succeed. So many, many business people out there invest massive amounts of money into keeping people obsessed with what they look like. We’re subconsciously coerced into falsely idolizing “the beautiful people”, and then told that we can be like them if we spend X amount of money. The wealth displayed by other people also becomes a coercive force. We see people’s fancy homes and luxurious cars and envy them. We want what they have, so we chase appearances. These are merely two examples, but this paradigm of placing appearances upon a pedestal has so fully permeated (woah, hello unintentional alliteration) our society that it can be seen wherever you look, if you know what you’re looking for. ... As J.R.R. Tolkien once wrote, “All that is gold does not glitter.” What you see and what is are two entirely different things. Dig deeper. Ask questions. Keep seeking. The answers are out there, and a better life is waiting for all of us. It’s high time that we claimed it." - The Mirror Lies: Beyond a World Obsessed With Appearances Inner beauty > appearances. Not saying you were referring to outward appearances only. 'When I say you’re Beautiful I’m not just speaking in the idiom of mirrors I’m speaking of your unseen precious core shaped by fire and ice and centuries of mountain streams I’m speaking of the ever-present seasons of your being the scented buds of spring that draw the bees the petals that shower radiance your fruitfulness your graceful yield to winter silence The beauty that I greet in you is like a candle flame in currents of dim air or like a falcon rising on a thermal or it is the steadfastness of dawn rising to delight our sleeping world I’m speaking of what’s seen with inner eyes of what will slip the handcuffs of our best poetic words I’m speaking both the language of the mirrors and the language of the heart to say You are a Beauty.'
This is awesome and I can relate. I am also sick of have this addiction. I just want to wake up and be normal and not obsessively think about sex and porn.
Wow MW your post reached my soul. I'm sure me and plenty others know your feelings personally. But, this is the path we've taken and fighting off our desires will bring forth even worst monsters from the bottom of our hearts. I hope you feel better soon, I really look up to you. With much love, Ace
Thank you eldish. I'm glad what I said effected you angelace. There's no way to fight our demons if we don't find them. I agree purity. Modern culture is simultaneously intensely narcissistic and incredibly insecure. People are in a constant pursuit of vain beauty.
In my journal of self improvement, today I worked on not cursing. Tomorrow I will work on not admiring myself in the mirror. My vanity is a problem. My journal is something new I've came up with. A cross between Benjamin Franklin's guide to self improvement (Not sure if that's what it's called) and my own writing technique I developed. The one that helped me reach the 278 days... I agree with you about our culture nowadays so concerned about looks. It's disgusting... It almost gets me irritated when my female friends put on a lot of make up and wear designer clothes. All the models in our ads probably make them insecure. I don't know, maybe that's just an excuse. When I see a dude model I don't feel bad about my long skinny body. What do you think Weight? ~Squeaky Soul
I know what exactly what you mean squeakysoul. I also get a little irritated when people seem to put so much importance on looks. For example when the girls I follow on Instagram post a picture of themselves or a group of girls, all anyone seems to comment is "gorgeous" "omg you are so cute" "that dress looks amazing in you" etc. Not to mention the endless selfies. Many people seem to think that society/media emphasizes physical beauty to a fault, yet those same people will flatter each other with empty compliments....
Ugghh... Don't even get me started on selfies! You go to a concert, and instead of people videoing and snapping shots of the performer/s singing, people are taking pics of themselves! WHY?! Selfishness! Not to start an arguement here and compromise your thread, but, women nowadays get so upset about objectification, and they are the ones getting all fancy, wearing designer, concerned so much about looks. It's like self objectification. So concerned about HOW THEY LOOK. Hmmmmm... sounds like it's not only guys being only concerned about how a woman looks. It's not just men, and I hate how almost everything is automatically the guys fault. Everything. SO much dang pressure. Don't get me wrong, guys aren't safe from it either, but I am not complaining if a women objectifies me. It's not my fault. I can't control what other people think. Doesn't mean they should be thinking it though. No doubt, pornography is degrading to the body. Both man and woman. ~Squeaky Soul
MW, for someone desiring celibacy, this comment seemed strangely inappropriate: "the girls I follow on Instagram". What the hell?
SqueakySoul. The world seems full of double standards doesn't it? IGY. They are friends and even family. I'm not going to avoid members of the opposite sex. I'm just choosing not to be in a relationship with one. They aren't posting anything provocative.
I definitely see your point though. There are a lot of people that post some very racy stuff on Instagram. I'm lucky my circle of friends do not.
While I agree that our culture is really going after the wrong things, or a false sense of what is beautiful, that doesn't rule out that beauty exists. Society has a really skewed view of beauty - what I think society usually means is "perfection." But people are beautiful because they aren't perfect. Beauty does exist physically, spiritually, emotionally, situationally - It shouldn't be idolized of course, but what beauty really is is a reflection of God. That was my point, there is nothing wrong with appreciating beauty in the world. - sorry if I sounded crass in my last post. I've never been very good at forum-ing.