Should I tell my new Boyfriend?

Tough one! I would say be honest. If he is secure in himself he should be able to handle that. But then again if he can´t, then you know he is not the guy for you. Good luck!

 

What do you mean by this? He was upset that you were working out at the park?

 

If you want to be with this person, I feel that you should share yourself with them. If your partner does not receive you the way you feel you need to be received then perhaps they are not the person for you. Truth and trust are huge in a healthy relationship. Best of luck!

 

At some point you might want to be honest with him. However, it sounds like you just recently started dating him. Personally I don't think you need to reveal all your deep dark secrets to someone when you first start dating. That sounds like something to maybe do down the line if you get more serious.

 

I agree with KrmGrn. At some point you should be honest with him if you want to continue the relationship or if things start to become more serious. However, now might not be the best time to tell him. I'd say give it some time, and see how the relationship starts to pan out.

He does seem a bit on edge, however you mention:

If you were willing to share what behaviours you mean, we could offer specific advice. I'm a guy- I can't read between the lines! lol

 

Be completely honest with your significant other, they deserve to know. I told my fiance about my PMO habit and how I am taking active steps to change. She was not thrilled, but was thankful I told her. Be committed to change. If your significant other truly loves you, they will have grace with you and be supportive of you working through your problems. That's what I love about my fiance. We can call each other to a higher calling with love and support.

 

Yes, sounds indeed like you have been putting the search for happyness into the hand of another one.

If you use sex to escape from important decisions, from taking action, from stepping out -- if you use sex to "calm yourself" from fears and doubts, then it is a drug -- a replacement for real happiness.

Sex is an addiction, if you feel that you use it as a replacement for "something" -- which in fact is TRUE LOVE and TRUE PEACE.

But the addict often even doesn't know what real love is. I understood it very very late in my life -- and only this lead to the final healing.

Some of my advices, which help: Seek to be more in command of yourself, check for your own goals, write down your life goals, pursuit them, try to connect to people, and try to be a leading person!

You don't need a leader - you can be a leader by yourself!

 

I would probably start with basics:

This is what I struggle with, how often and what you are doing to work on it. Reassure him that you are trying to better yourself and that you are doing it for your relationship as well (assuming all this is true). After that I would leave it an open door policy that you will answer any questions if he has specifics he wants to know about. That way you cover the "big" things you need to tell him, don't bombard him with tons of details he may not be ready or want to hear, and let him ask about what is important for him to know.

Hope this helps.

 

Hey Red-

Congrats on your efforts so far and the prospects for a new relationship! My advice, for what its worth, is to focus on the positive and all the great things that can happen, not all the things that can go wrong! It think you'll know when its right to have the talk with him (if ever)...I wouldn't push it.

Also, I think I've had some similar experiences to you in terms of the exhibitionism stuff. One thing that I've really been sensitive to (especially since finding this site) is that there is no victimless crime. There was another side to the exhibitionism (the people watching me), and I don't know if that person watching me was fuckin up their relationships or struggling with PMO addiction themselves. I've come to realize just how selfish exhibitionism is and how easy it is to believe that it's all fun. I know some of it was. But it also makes me sick to think about the role I played in other peoples issues and problems. I just know that I'm a better person when I don't do it.

Anyway, good luck!

 

begin with now! you've made a choice to focus on yourself, now believe in your decision without regret and make the most of it. live in the present. one minute at a time. don't dwell on the past and don't overthink mistakes. Think about the person you want to be and how each tiny decision you make 100s of times a day can point you in that direction. Be kind and forgiving to yourself but don't pretend or rationalize things.

Good luck!

 

Hello Red Girl,
I have been with this amazing girl for a few months now, we don't have sexual intercourse for religious reasons, but I've always panicked when the day would come and I have PIED or destroyed penile tissue or premature cum issues, and I was just like you.. I want to tell her but god I'm such a horrible person, I'm an addict, I am weak.. but then it hit me, if she loves me she'd understand, I'm having all these thought ony because I want to perform well when we are together, I want to satisfy her and I get my satisfaction from only her, not my hand.. and so was with her once and I just opened up and her reaction was amazing, we got closer, she is following my quitting on daily basis helping me to get stronger even when I relapse.

My point is go for it, tell your bf, if her really loves you he will do everything he could to help you, to take you out of this hell, when I think of us (people on here) we aren't bad people, we are not animals that the society should try to avoid, we are as a matter of fact victims, we are afflicted.. and we deserve all support and help because we ARE already trying, so don't fear a thing, tell him all you're keeping inside, tell him you actually already are trying to fight it, and you're doing your best but you need motivation and support, and if it doesn't come from him then he is not the right person for you. be strong.

 

Okay hey why don't you join in for the 2015 challenge?, we will be together 24/7 on a whatsapp group or skype, and we can make it easier for each other instead being alone. what do you think?