Hello, I wasn't sure where to post this so I am writing it here. I'm a 26 year old male and for as long as I can remember I've been experiencing personality changes every time I ejaculate/orgasm. Now I don't mean those temporary feelings of happiness, laziness, sadness, or even guilt as some people feel. I mean my actual personality "permanently" changes, at least until the next orgasm. This personality change can range anywhere from becoming shy and empathetic or becoming a confident charming person. To give an example. Last week I masturbated and afterwards I was feeling great. Good amount of energy, getting things done, had smooth conversations, magnetic, positive throughout the entire week. I see how people respond to me when I'm like that. Guys become more buddy buddy and girls become more focused on me and txt/call frequently. HOWEVER, after i masturbate it becomes a game of personality roulette. Like which personality am I going to be until my next orgasm. I could potentially become an opposite of a person. Lethargic, anxious, insecure, etc. To clarify, the example I gave is just two opposite ends of a spectrum and not limited to just those two types. I could become someone in the middle who just feels content, chill, relaxed, but not necessarily full of life or vice versa sad and insecure. There is no real consistency besides the consistency of change. Its strange because everyone I know just acts like them all the time. Yes they can have off days or emotional days but you know its still good old Greg. As for me, people get worried, distant, and confused. I know this might sound ridiculous and perhaps even amusing to some people. Its a big problem for me though. If I'm one type of person this week, but next week I rub one off and again change personalities, people might believe I'm treating them differently. Even sex was a problem. I might not be the same guy who the girl thought was her type, only to be confused by my personality change after an orgasm. I do not have depression nor am I bipolar. My personality just simply changes after an orgasm and it stays that way until my next one. Anyone else going or went through this?
I know i sound crazy.. I just thought that maybe what I'm going through isn't just me. Thanks for reading though.
You don't sound crazy, but it's a little worrisome.. do you think maybe youre superstitious or like you sort of have ocd? bc idk sometimes some people with ocd believe that by doing certain things it changes something in them.. and i heard that if you believe something strongly enough it manifests in reality...
You make an interesting point. That my belief is manifesting itself into reality. Maybe there is something between those lines that links to my situation. It started the opposite way for me. That my reality is creating my belief. I sometimes cant believe it. I tell myself its all in your head and that there is no way something like this can actually change my personality bc at the core of me i am myself. Yet everytime its the same thing, i change even when i dont believe it. What if an artist suddenly cant paint at the level he knows hes capable of anymore. What if a timid person suddenly becomes the life of the party. A way of life that dissappears and reappears, change and morph at the whim of, in my case, an orgasm??? Like wth man. Even as i write this its the silliest thing ever. This is, in a dramatic way, how it feels..
Hm, wow. It sounds pretty serious and scary... Have you gone to the doctor and asked about this, maybe you could get your brain checked out. I may have watched too many doctor tv shows or something but what if it's something medical?
I've been thinking about that. Honestly going to the doctor scares me more than my situation. I'm afraid they're gonna hit me with some crazy ass diagnosis.. maybe I watched too many tv shows too lol... but you might be right.
yeah, I get that. Maybe you could take a friend or family member but it's better to be sure than not sure and sooner than later.. idk whatever you decide to do its up to you. good luck, i hope you are able to find the cause and feel better soon
Uhhh you mean you day to day you can be in a different mood?? Don’t we all have mood changes to a degree depending on a huge number of things? What else goes on between your M sessions? It doesn’t sound like your personality has any drastic or severe negative qualities. You sound pretty normal to me.
I'm glad you say i sound normal and I want to agree with you that its my mood. Mood has an effect on how everyone acts and i thought it was that at first too. In a mention I made before, i wrote that everyone has their off days, emotional days, bad days, yet you know its still them. If my close friend is going through a hard time I know their mood is down its normal. If that same friend suddenly becomes someone that makes you think "idk this person anymore", it goes beyond mood. This kinda change happens to me after MOing. Now as you say its nothing so severe. I wont turn into a psychopath or w.e. I have the same rationality yet my interpersonal skills, motivation, confidence, and even goals becomes altered for better or worse. I say that bc the changes arent always terrible.
It’s all the more reason to make sure you find a way to stay clean for a long period of time, and find peace with yourself.
Actually dude, this is a pretty relatable story. I feel like I have a tendency to hyperfocus on my moods and how I feel towards other people on a daily basis. I also do it when I wake up in the mornings, like “oh great what’s my mood gonna be like today”. I do it so often that it starts to develop into a type of ocd, because there’s times where I literally can’t get it out of my head where I think “I felt like this yesterday, why don’t I feel like that today?” Especially with beating off, sometimes I’d finish and feel like a king and other days I’d feel craven and useless. Just can’t think about it man, that’s what I’m starting to learn. It dominates your thinking, I understand that completely, you want to feel great and motivated but sometimes it doesn’t click in your head to. And that’s the way things go sometimes, just gotta go one foot in front of the other and focus on the day; like classes, work or gym. Anything that gets you out of your head and into building your life. When you start to feel a certain way that doesn’t make you pumped or doesn't make you feel powerful, at least for me, just gotta focus on not letting yourself ruminate. Sometimes you’ll sabotage yourself, if you’re afraid you’re going to feel a certain way after doing something, it’d be best to not do it at all. That’s the deal with masturbating. I’m on day 21 and it does get easier. There’s some bad days where it really sucks, but it will pass and it does. There’s a definite, gradual positive incline in my attitude towards life and my constant focus on how I feel is diminishing. Try a 30 day absitinence and see where you’re at, I guarantee you will feel a lot more in control and not so focused about your moods, because you can sabotage yourself .
It's normal to have ups and downs from one day to the next anyway. If you are doing NoFap and you are taking it serious, you are likely to let yourself go off the rails if you relapse..leading to an extreme personality one way or the other. I don't know how serious you are taking this, but you could easily get down, frustrated etc and have a huge personality swing after what's considered a relapse in your mind? Just thoughts
Well this should be done by your brain(wet dream) to challenge u ,should not be done by yourself ..lol
Wow, thats really close to the way I feel, in fact you're the first person who I can relate to. In the mornings where the night before I MOed, I have the exact same thoughts. What am I going to be like now? Psychologically speaking it could be at some point I associated my changes with having an orgasm. It's really bizarre for me to accept that. Especially when I see how these changes affects me in real life. Thanks, your relatable story makes me feel better.
Hmm, I see the point you're making. I did nofap a while back when it was starting out on reddit. I admit it does help you feel less sensitive and more assured. What happened after was the wet dream. After that I didn't necessarily feel a relapse since it was natural. Yet I changed again. I'm not saying nofap is useless, actually I still do it from time to time when I really need to focus on something. Its in my case the changes happening voluntarily or not (wet dream).
Yeah I hear you, I believe that its effective for many people but when I have a wet dream I go back to changing again. I'm not going against nofap. It helped me greatly with focus and self assurance when I tried it before and still from time to time still. I started thinking perhaps I'm a different type of case bc it happens even Oing from wet dreams.
I don't know, but I'm sick of seeing myself masturbating etc. It's just not human enough. We are better than this.
I've had something like what you're describing. If I relapse after a week or so of abstaining, I feel pretty confident, positive, and energetic when I venture out afterwards. But, if I return home and relapse again or binge, my mood does a 180 degree turn and I'm feeling depressed and lethargic. In the end I come to the conclusion that it's not worth the relapse.
