My Journal And How I can help you cope

I’m maybe 10-11 days in on nofap and the urge is there, I’ve been listening and enjoying music to pass time and fight the urge and so far happened to click on a Cheryl Cole music vid and the urge grew stronger and i don’t even like her it’s ridiculous I know but only recently have i noticed she’s hot, I won’t result in masturbation because of the “super powers” it’s given me the longest I’ve gone without P is 16? Days I think. I’m going to start weight lifting and boxing on Tuesday, this is just an introduction to the diary but I have experienced these super powers early on and I’m worried it might cause upset because my anger has been pretty shitty over the last 2 weeks but it also feels good at the same time to know that my body can enhance a certain emotion at the given time, the only way it makes me feel is powerful I would normally shit myself if another lad is staring me out but lately I’ve been staring back I know it sounds pathetic but guys understand this if your both in a stare out and the other looks away first you’ve basically won a fight that’s the way it feels the confidence to go for it is amazing I’ll get back tomorrow with another entry feel free to comment your days and feelings

 

I’m gonna say day 12,
All urges are low at the moment maybe because I just woke up, I’m worried about how attached I am of an ex from 2 years ago I just had a dream about her nothing sexual more memories,if any one clicks on this please help me out

 

Anxiety is almost completely eliminated, confidence spikes engaging in conversation comes easily, girls noticing you becomes more frequent and because of all this guys feel intimidated I’d say, none of this would occur whilst watching porn

 

Nah I wouldn’t say so I’ve gone 17 days still feeling great if I believe that the effects are real and there it’ll only keep going.

 

See u then

 

So I had a wet dream without any sexual triggers it just happened so feelin a little groggy unfortunately a wet dream was the reason I relapsed last time if I can keep busy today I’ll I’ll be able to overcome anything

 

Day 14 two week mark: feeling pretty average today kind of like I wouldn’t feel any different if I did masturbate so it’s really tough at the moment.

 

Day 15 : had really bad anxiety until I stepped out the door and felt amazing I thinks it’s just overcoming lazyness

 

Day 16 feel good no real urges or any reason to look at porn

 

No urges BUT anything that is just a teenie bit explicit will set of an urge.

 

Day 17?
Feeling good no real changes since my first journal entry

 

I relapsed 2 days ago starting meditation and it’s close to a replacement

 

Right I’m on day 20 feeling good been on reddit lately because I deleted my social media a few months back but reddit isn’t a safe place as NSFW posts are popular, but i have turned away if anything does come up, not going to relapse I’m really trying.

Apperantly even having sexual thoughts are counted as a relapse which I do not believe, porn recoveres are going to have sexual thoughts so if anyone believes that shit then your a dick head, I truly believe that I will make it to 30 days

 

DAY 28 : feelin ok pretty normal, attraction from girls is becoming more and more noticeable and I’m shit scared of that, the best thing is I was working, and being such a popular place in people from around the world visit, now long story short an American girl walked past a few times and we locked eye contact a few times, but on the last time she turned round and smiled and all her friends were huddling round her. Now this may not seem spectacular but to porn addicts that have stopped watching porn this is a huge deal, bearing in mind this was around 12 at night and I was in high vis gear so I looked a mess. If she was British I probably would’ve approached her but as she was American for all I know she could be going home so I left it with a stroked ego.

Honestly it must be the vibe you send off it’s truly amazing



This is gonna be my first time reaching 30 days I would like to thank fightthedevil for being such a g, you need someone to talk to about urges and relapses coz you will not get through it

 

Day 30: honestly this is the best I’ve felt in a long time I’m laughing at things I usually wouldn’t find funny, and I’m jumping out of my comfort zone a lot more BUT it doesn’t mean my addiction is gone right now I’m feeling urges as I’m typing this. I plan to carry on my nofap journey and hopefully see you guys at the 60 day mark.

Ps. To Mathew who commented on my post in November you were wrong I’m still feeling the “superpower effects” 30 days on and still getting ogled by the odd woman

 

^^