Want to introduce myself

Hello everyone around here, I was willing to join this community cause I've been dealing with PMO addiction for a looong time. Never thought of it as a problem you know: MO is perfectly normal, it is sane to MO, this kind of excuses that came from everywhere, plus I had a feeling that the christian idea of 'MO is a sin!!' was so stupid so I just went through that path.

It all started when I was probably 8 or 9, cause I have always had a computer, my father was working with computers everyday so I would have the oldest ones, but good enaugh for a child isn't it? So I discovered porn and it amazed me, it made me feel the kind of rushes that an drug addict would feel, just I did not understand it very well at that moment. Then with 16, after my gf broke with me after 2 years of relationship, I started smoking weed, it felt so nice, I would never stop from there until some months ago. When i went to college, my life started to run downhill so fast, my weed addiction went out of control, my PMO addiction also, and well, videogames were also always there, I do not know if it is also an addiction to me but it probably is. After 5 years PMOing, smoking weed and playing videogames ALL THAT I COULD, i ended up with just a friend or two, an incredibly lack of confidence, my mind twisted because the P i would stay watching was like sissy hypno shit, like I was completely destroyed after so much time. I had to commit into embarrasing challenges (like involving me into short relationships with girls that, absolutely went wrong because of lack of confidence, erectile dysfunction, or talking with some people about all this I was going through) because literally my head was gonna explode, I really thought I was going totally crazy, super tough situation for me. Then, after the help of some people, starting visiting a therapyst, and my will power, I made it out of all that shit. I have been on and off with weed this last 2 years (off right now for 2 months), and P has disappeared of my life (but i have to admit that during this last year, sometimes I relapsed and checked some P, but not the weirdest ones I used to watch).

It has been really tough and there is still a long path in front of me, but I hope that sharing my story, and making the commitment to make improves in my life will help me to really get a new grip on life.

Excuse me for maybe writting too much, but I felt I wanted to share, not the hole of it but at least the most important parts of my journey.

Thanks a lot.

 

Hey, yea hahah I would like to! How can I join? Do I have to write in your post or smth?