this is what an ideal male should be: 1) have tons of friends. in fact, be the leader of the group at school/college 2) never be bullied. in fact always stand up for himself 3) be an expert in car driving, bike riding, bank-related work, tax-related work, lawyer-related work, computer-related work, studies, cooking, plumber, electrician, car-mechanic 4) straight 5) look after his family. be the shoulder others can lean on 6) have a gf 7) have a muscular body, 6-pack abs 8) have a few flings 9) get married in late 20s, have kids in early 30s 10) always be happy 11) have no life regrets 12) never fall ill 13) have a good sense of humor 14) must love pets 15) must always help relatives 16) must have a radiant smile 17) must know how to handle goons, cops 18) never complains to authorities about bullies, sorts everything on his own these are the points i used to believe (or was made to believe). feel free to add any points you think refer to an ideal male. clearly the pressure is too much to handle.
I think I see where your going with this. Growing up I used to think the ideal male was the “John Wayne Type”. Show no weakness, fiercely independent, and never ask for help. Yeah that got me far. (/s)
2, 5, 13. The only ones that matters. The others are just imposed by society, you can choose and be a happy man without those traits.
Not gonna lie man, the ideal man is probably something along what you have described. Yet I cannot name a man who is even half of that list. We are all imperfect, and that should be the standard.
No no, i know that. i myself barely am half the list. the list is meant to be sarcastic. the expectations society puts on men.
I was thinking the same actually a good ideal man comes from the heart. Not what society is expected of these days.
Yup true. the list was meant as an exaggeration. to show the pressures men have. some of the points in the list have been told to me: you dont know lawyer work? you don't know your way around a map? you don't know how to drive a car?
I really hate all those 'list of traits' that people, and especially women create for themselves and 'look for' in other people. Just go and read Quora or some other sites. It is astounding. 'Must be confident, must be tall, must have muscles, must love me for who I am, must be outgoing, must have a decent job, must have many friends, must be this and that'. People create so many demands but what they can offer to this superman? Their bodies? Hardly a sufficient exchange. Their love and companionship? To a man that is all those things, love and companionship are next to getting a burger and drinking a beer. If I am all those things, why should I need something else rather than myself? This question is never answered. Every girl is a choosy princess and everyone in the world must either be like her ideal or they are not existant for her. But the thing is, they don't really know what they want. They claim to want things the society taught them they should have while their inner nature wants the opposite. That is why you should never ever trust a woman when she describes her ideal man. Ideal people first - do not exist, second, if they existed, they would never choose anyone less than ideal, so either way, women will never have the man they claim to want.
Can you see the irony? These kind of women say they want someone who will love them for who they, with their flaws included, but can't settle for less than a perfect guy. I'm sure there are women who don't think this way, the question is where do we find them?
Women with attitude I described usually end up as 'cool wine aunts', meaning, sad, miserable and lonely. They are shallow and I wouldn't even talk to someone like that. That is a waste of time. There are women out there who are still close to their nature, but it might take a while to find them through the heaps of modern garbage that are modern women. Basically, all relationships are like lottery. You unlikely to win anything if you play just once.
So true , they either want a bad boy/drama maker or a wallet someone witha big job bank account . And of course the deny it and say they want a nice guy who doesnt play games and money doesnt matter lol but every time you see these women with someone its the oppisite of what they said. lol
I think this is partially the intent of the OP. He was being sarcastic to show how ridiculous ideals can be. He was trying to get us to think about this real issue. We will never reach these ideals placed upon us. That’s my interpretation of his last paragraph. And we all can arrive at our own conclusions after thinking about these ridiculous ideals. I wrote a sarcastic ending to my post that was meant to convey the thought that chasing ideals got me nowhere. In regards to your post, unfortunately many do care about their vision of an ideal male and waste lots of time trying to chase it instead of being themselves. That’s how I interprete things. I think this thread is suppose to get us thinking and discussing the topic.
True. Well in the end there is no point chasing any ideals because everyone has a different idea what an ideal man/woman should be like so no matter what you are some people are not simply not going to like you because in their eyes you are not ideal.
Ourselves? Lol. And what if "ourselves" suck? Should we then remain ourselves till the end of our lives? No I don't think so.
Ideal male... Means it's just an ideal. It's not a real male... And therefore instead of pressure, a person should be taking motivation (when applicable).
Self-criticism and Self-improvement are often confused with people-pleasing behaviour. But they are not the same.