A student going down in his career path

Welcome to the community; we are all here for you.

Relax, take a load off, and look at your values in life. What is most important to you? Do you want to achieve something? Live somewhere? Be with someone, perhaps in a relationship? Maybe you are already, and you want it to be the best it can? What is most important in your life?

Now, realize that what you decided was best for you will be more difficult if you lapse back into masturbating or watching pornography, and it will get much easier the longer you remain free of those two things. Remind yourself of this daily. Coming onto the NoFap website daily helps a lot, and I highly recommend it. Without coming on every day, I relapsed often. Now that I visit the site daily, I have not watched pornography in 55 days, and I have not masturbated in 17.

Maybe you will want to join a challenge, like the 3-day challenge for starters, and there are lots of others as well. I joined the 7-day challenge, for which I completed a week right away. That was helpful. I also became a member of the Lord of the Rings challenge, as I am a fan of all things Hobbit. You don't have to join a challenge, but I think it really helps inspire a person, and it provides a reason to log in every day.

Do a cost-benefit analysis on fapping and watching pornography if you want. You make a box, draw a line through the middle vertically and another through the middle horizontally, so now you have four quarters. Across the top, label the left side with doing the action, like "fapping" or "porn." Label the right with not doing it, like "stopping" or "freedom." Down the left, label the top with "pros" and the bottom with "cons." This way, the top left quadrant has the pros of fapping or porn, or whatever the behavior is, the bottom right has the cons of stopping, et cetera. No doubt you will find that you will have things in each of the four corners, and you will end up with a lot more incentive to stop. Also, you will know why you keep doing what you are doing. You will see the draw of it, and you will become more prepared for that.

Both assessing your values and the cost-benefit analysis (CBA) come from SMART Recovery (smartrecovery.org), if you are interested. It is for addictions, particularly alcohol, and it can be applied to any addiction or compulsion. I used it to free myself from drinking, and now as you can see I am applying it to other things.

I hope this helps. I wish you success in your NoFap journey!
Al

 

Just come here on this website whenever urges hit . This is a great community where everyone is supportive .
So feel free to share your problems.

 

Hello there...
Welcome to the community!

 

It's easier to quit porn if you start changing your bad habits with good ones.

• Stay busy
• Don't spend too much time all by yourself doing nothing
• Set small goals (5 days, 10 days etc)
• Practice self improvement every day
• Don't give up

It is a simple process. But doing it everyday is what separates success from failure.

 

...and now the work begins.

This is a tough journey, @Rebuilder of attitude. It takes time and exertion, honesty and kindness. Perhaps nowhere is this more true than when we are dealing with slips. Without a whole lot of care, these, in my experience, can become much more than they actually are: slips.

I suggest giving yourself some time today to review three things:

1. What lead you to re-engage pmo earlier today? What inner and outer events guided you in this direction?
2. What might you do differently next time? Can you avoid those inner and outer events? Can you find something more life-affirming to do when they arise?
3. And finally, why do you still want to quit pmo? What is your motivation right now?

Of course, it all boils down to doing the next right thing for us. One day, one moment at a time. All the best with this.