Hi, fellow marines, this wolf was badly wounded yesterday in battle. I fell yesterday in a crazy way i hadn't experienced b4. Lost sleep at around 4am and my empty mind then turned to sexy stuff. First began with an urge to see a really beautiful lady dance, then proceeded to see other's dance in really short dressing, and an hour into that found myself scrolling through P. Then it hit me that it wasn't right, i remembered my training and stopped b4 things got out of hand. When it was dawn i woke up fast and went for a stroll outside and that's when i realized the damage had been done. P had already grabbed me by my blue balls and even walking around felt like hell. I tried ignoring it but i couldn't. Any movement just brought pain. So i realized i had to M to relieve the pain. And just like that back to 0 unwillingly. But this was my best streak so far, 20 days so not staying discouraged. See you in the feb challenge, i am proud for the fight i have put up this month. Now to higher streaks and beyond. Goodluck spacewolves.
Woah. The choir sounds awesome! I‘ve met an Aussie farmer, he told me to go work in Western Australia, because not many people go to work on farms there, so there’s demand for help. But he said the countryside is still fruitful and also pretty green in the west. Did I mention I study farming (agriculture)?
Damn used to love to cold shower.. esp. when you're in a rut and have the feeling of "everything just suck" But apparently I get nose bleed from that.
I think what happend to you is the same thing that happened to me a long time ago. You got the desire to see something that seems okay, something just slightly arousing. Like a pic of someone dressed lightly or a oversexualised music video or can be whatever! That is the devil trying to baby step you back into P . For me I got the desire to see a lap dance, which is weird anyways, cause I actually hate the idea of letting someone physically molest you, just because of peer pressure. Then over time that turned into watching P again. Now I know better. That was 2 years ago. See my streak right now? That would not be possible without my good friends on here and God. Because when I was in my 40s of my current streak, I got really bad urges for 3 days. Please read this thread to see what happend: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?groups/posts/24691/&comment_id=77486#comment-77486 I hate to tell you... it was a trap... and you stepped right into it and now you’re heavily wounded. Like in a bear trap. Hope you get up and learn for next time... that the desire to see any slightly arounsing thing - I call it “soft porn” - is not a true healthy desire by your own mind, but a trap/ temptation by the enemy. Just like these wierd dreams that people experience here. I had one too. I dreamed I was doing M and my mind was telling me again and again “you can never stay free of this until marriage, it’s humanly impossible.” Then when I woke up I felt calm about the whole thing and realised those thoughts were simply rubbish.
Hi mate. I wonder what has your journey been like? What really worked for you and what patterns of behaviour were traps and what have you discovered this time?
That is soo true, i stepped right into the trap a took a stumble. I'll keep your advice in mind for when this foe returns. That made me realize that the only way to beat this is going hard mode all the way.
Day 19 check ,dark angels The morning of day 18 was very very hard.. The only thing that worked at that time,the only thing my conscious mind could think of is the challenge I had participated, my new year resolution.. And it also felt that it was being overpowered. So I listened to recitation of holy book and I stopped and then this is the first time even that was not enough.. Pressed panic button, gathered stability and then again listened to religious verses with my headphones on... Somehow felt Asleep And i am glad I didn't relapse..
You lived up to your name @Fighter_4_life ! After urges that strong, I imagine you may still be feeling them, but do your best to surf the urges! Acknowledge them, but then let them fade away into the back of your mind until they're nothing. What verses were helpful for you?
I played an audio recitation of my holy book... Today i am feeling much better And i am glad i am in this tournament
Month 0/12 Things have been ok recently. Still holding off PMO. I do feel that I am getting little complacent. I have been slacking lately and not reading much on the subject and sort of getting into the lowering the guard zone. However I am keeping up with prayers and that keeps me in check. I need to work more on mindfulness. Reading some other fellow travelers experiences on this forum has made me realise that there are no quick fixes and the whole attitude towards this subject needs to be modified to make long term changes. I feel that this new found wisdom resembles closely to the values religon( for me Islam) has been advocating all along. In other religions its along same lines like in Christianity, Budhism and so forth. So I guess you may not be a religious person but I find that there are definitely some answers in religion on this topic.
Checking in. This fallen soldier has gotten straight up after his fall: no binging. Instead: he is moving forward, doing self-reflection, reading the Bible, meditation, spending quality time with friends - doing the things that keep him on the path. No doubt I will need help to stay on this path in the coming days and weeks, and I'm here for my fellow Space Marines too. Gooo you fighter! You've got this! You're already kicking goals by jumping on here in the midst of the urges! Suggestions (pick your favourite one or two - they will help, I promise): - read your journal: your personal "Why" and "How", especially putting yourself back in your shoes when you started this process - get physically out of tempting situations as much as possible - exercise - scream at the sky if you've got to - read your sacred text - look at photos of your friends and family and think about the good times had and the good times to come - journal about how you're feeling - meditate - game or do whatever hobby you have that gets you out of your head and "in the zone" - think about how badly you want to keep your counter ahead of the fallen sergeants in this challenge ;-) I wrote this before I saw your post today about listening to recitations and hitting the panic button. Again, that's progress. That's action - you changed lanes in your mind. Instead of heading straight towards the cliff top with a blindfold on, you're able to turn the wheel to one side until you're able to remove the blindfold and get back on the road. We can all learn something from your action
I would like to my REAL STORY through this message to all the fellow members of this website and fellow citizens of earth.(IF not interested please read only the last paragraph because it's based on current TRAGEDIES.) it started 3 years ago. Because of shitty classmates and shitty school, I fell into "BAD ACTIVITIES", but I didn't realise that I was moving away from my dream. After being told what is "sex", "semen" Over and over, and watching sex on the screen(it's porn I didn't know the name that time). I asked my mom what my so-called classmates told me "What is sexy?" she asked me from where I learned that word. I told her"it's from school", then she told me not to say that word again. Now jumping to next year. As if you don't know, I was the top student in my class From grade 6 to8th because of a fellow man who cared about me and understood my potential. but things got ugly in 9th class. The leaving of that MAN from the town made me very sad and the shitty school teachers+students+administration started tearing me apart and i became a worthless student with no talent. My grades went down too. then I got into the extremely bad habit of PORN, MASTURBATION 3-times a day, doing only schoolwork, NOT LEARNING JUST WRITTEN WORK. By then i was faced with many piercing comments(whats with that boy wasn't he was the first runner up last time, wasn't he the one who learned a whole chapter by letter to letter with pinpoint precision in just 2 hrs, the teachers started saying things like you worthless idiot what've you done in the previous class and the teachers who had faith in me (6,7,8 classes teachers ) said good things about me and then CLASH, my relatives, my mom, my grandmother) But things started to get hurt when i felt that the child who was not even close to me (in academics) surpassed me! And my father for the first time told me that you are not studying what's the matter, don't you want to be the best scientist. On that day I tried to study, but you know it was very hard. i tried to study but the emotions didn't let me do that they were eating me, watching porn at 3 o clock or trying to study till 3 o clock, or playing games till 3 o clock, etc. but since I've met another MAN who had faith in me and also NOFAP. help me to change and be what I had a craving from childhood, adulthood and Now too "the Best Physicist", even better than "NICOLA". all that because of the closing of that shitty school and the two things coming in my life who respected me and found out the ME in me(The one what i want). But, things are getting mad now as my school reopened 3 days ago and at least half of the teachers hates me because of the changed personality(That can point their mistakes with the precision of that of a rattle snake) But i can't reveal them because my Marks(scores) are in their hands and I can't just go after half of the teachers. so i have had to only listen whatever wrong they say and also keep Quiet when they make fun of me because of my previous personalities. and i couldn't just GULP IT, i was in deep pain MENTALLY. I was I a very bad state. and to escape that STRONG FEELING i started BINGEING three days ago, i still had traces of that feeling but I'm not completely recovered yet. I've come here to write to convey my feelings to you what HELL was i going through AND the NEW more powerful hell had entered my life. Even though my parents know that but they cant do anything against these teachers and the administration rather than just leaving the school , but it can only happen after 3 months when the session ends. AND till the i have to experience that FEELING. I can't make you feel that, but for a 15 year old its horrifying and True FEAR.its like my life is like the conjuring movie and the evil are many not one. it's IMMENSE PAIN THAT I CANT EXPLAIN IN WORDS IT"S LIKE SOMEONE TOOK YOUR HEART and wants to kill you even if you'd nothin' wrong. ALthough, I've experienced worse than that when i ran on the terrace and cried a lot EVERY SINGLE DAY AFTER PMOing. I'm truly saying that the place where i have been living is good but the school and the people here are like demon wolves hunting you in a pack because Just you came to The jungle and did nothin wrong. Bye I've rittn a lot a i will post it as it is like I've written. And no matter what the hell comes I'll find the way for who i admire and what i desire. THIS Is............
Hahah, have you been reading my journal from a few weeks ago? Matthew 25:23 is a great verse Also @vicicool, your post to @Gtweet is spot on. We simply cannot entertain the "desire to see any slightly arousing thing". It all leads to the same place, as we have both recently been reminded. Yep, be proud of where you've gotten so far. Thank you for your honesty, and talking through what happened. Let's get moving again together. Oh man, there's so much to say. I don't want to hog this thread (more than I already am) - I've written about it in my journal. Please feel free to check it out https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/alright-lets-do-this.189984/page-5#post-2877001 In this post I haven't addressed much "in the moment" stuff, as I've worked on this a lot in the past. This post is more about the background things which can lead me to seek PMO. I couldn't resist trying to answer the rest of your Q here...if I had to summarise what's worked for me: - self-reflection and journalling - learning to take care of myself in all areas: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Note that emotional intimacy (especially with friends/family) is a big part of this, often ignored by blokes in particular - putting practical steps in place to avoid temptation - replacing the habit with things that are meaningful to me
Woah. @Patty O’Furniture1289. That sounds really tough. Really really tough. As much as we'd like to sound tough and say that it doesn't matter what other people say about us or to us, in reality, if people are not kind, it does hurt. It really helps to be surrounded by those who have faith in us. We need to have some people in our life who care about us. It sounds like you do have some of those people. I really hope that with practice you can ignore those who are too blind to see who you really are, and instead can grab hold of those people who care about you, and listen to their words, see their actions. You are loved, and I'll bet you are loved by more people than you know. You are also on NoFap, pursuing greatness. You are choosing to not be a sheep, but to be a lion. You are doing great. I'm praying for you @Patty O’Furniture1289. I leave you with this, from my journal post only a few minutes ago. It's worth repeating.
