30 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is the big day! I am an elf now! So powerful soooo encouraging! I am feeling strong but I will keep focused to not allowed PMO to defeat me! PS sorry for not checking yesterday but I spent all day with my dear friend <3 it was so cool!
Day 357. These past few days have felt pretty difficult. I've had thoughts of looking and just giving up. I know it's just a matter of not doing the thing and I haven't, but I still feel disheartened that I should even be having these thoughts at all.
Keep the faith @Johnthesavage! You're so close to a year, and at least for me anytime I get close to a landmark date my urges rear up really strong. You should expect to be challenged right now! Take some space, do some breathing exercises, and then check in with yourself to find the root of the emotions. Speak to yourself clearly and lovingly about those emotions, and you'll find the strength inside. We're rooting for you!
Day 12 (or day 0), not sure how to count today. I have been very aroused today, and it was very hard to focus, but then I was sitting on the toilet and I had just been watching YouTube and I saw this attractive bikini model, so I had started looking her up. Something snapped me out of it, but at that point my genitals were really sensitive, and so when I was on the toilet, I think I may have orgasmed. Not 100% sure. Did not want to look for fear of confirmation, if I ejaculated or not. However, afterward, I felt this rush of calm. I feel like it could go either way. I may have accidentally caused myself to orgasm, but it would have been because I was feeling triggered all day and therefore much more sensitive to the slightest of sensations. If it is a reset, which a part of my mind is telling me it is, then this is the longest I have made it since my 22 day streak over a month ago. However, it feels so much like a blur these past few days due to brain fog, and now I am out of it, and I don't want my streak to end because of being overly triggered resulting in an orgasm due potentially to ejaculation. I don't know. I think I will reset in part of being on hard mode and therefore trying to go without any kind of release for now. Sad though, as I was hoping to make it to Urak-Hai on Thursday. Best, Mathman1994
You are not a mere life of struggle, brother. You are a being full of capability, full of energy, full of possibility. Enhance yourself in these hard times. Those thoughts aren't you, they made their way into your brain, but they aren't you. You can dissolve them and you will. Endure. Refine. Revive. And live! Some musical motivation:
Day 22 I do have to say that I love coming on here everyday to see how everybody is doing in their journeys. It lets me know that I am not alone in this fight and that this is a fight that is worth fighting. Thanks for this fellowship brothers
@jaberwaki @ListenPaul @HE^MAN @eagle rising thanks for the support, you guys. It means a lot to me since there is no one in my life to talk to about these things. Wishing you all the best as we continue onwards and upwards.
Had heavy urges and a rough night lastnight but managed to overcome them. Day 22 check-in (Attempt 4) - The village of Bree
Day 8 complete! @jaberwaki Your last couple posts have been beautiful. Thank you for sharing these insights with us. That sort of mentality is something that's been lacking from my own attempts to conquer this beast. Maybe I can make the beast fight for me. Felt pretty dead most of today. Urges weren't a big problem, but general motivation and energy levels were. I didn't have the willpower to get up for a run in the morning, so instead I slept an extra two hours. At the very least, I forced myself to take a cold shower.
12 days Checking in. Things are good. Reading Soaring Eagle again for the first time in a while. Have to use Google translate because it hasn't been fully translated to English yet. But it is a gold mine of strategy for rebooters to equip themselves with. https://www.jieseba.org/jwly/ Have a great day, ring-bearers!
Day 15. I am a hobbit now. Hooray! Went out golfing with some guys from work last night. Had such a good time. No temptations after it last night. Had been struggling for a few days. Seams going out with good people and having fun helps with this. I am excited for my journey with the ring of power.
Day 2, no masturbating; day 166, no pornography. During these several months away from pornography, I watched sexual videos that did not show any explicit parts of the body, so I do not count those as pornography, but serious warning signs that I had better get vigilant. My wife and I made love last night, which was surprisingly good, considering I masturbated about 4 times in the last week. I am 51 and my libido suffers a lot when I masturbate even once. My wife, I reminded myself the other day, gets less than half the sex I do, as I keep masturbating after every time we have sex. This disgusts me. If I find my wife as attractive as I keep telling her she is, then there is no reason for me to self-pleasure like this. I need to quit this insidious habit so that I can give my wife the intimacy and attention she needs and deserves. So, I was tempted this morning to masturbate, but I gave myself a few minutes and walked away. It worked that time; I hope to keep doing so as I know I will get tempted more over the next several days. When I walked away, I got right onto NoFap, which made the difference between entertaining those thoughts that tempted me and not doing so. Thanks to everyone for being here for one another.