Flatline after relapse

Any updates ?

 

This takes years :/ I had the same... now after 4+ years of NoFap, no P, ocassional relationships with sex (sometimes with O and sometimes with non ejaculatory sex for many months)...after two 300 days hardmode streaks... all that.. I still feel like total shit after one orgasm. Not a flatline anymore, but physically I look very bad and mentally Im in hell.

Wonder If it will ever get better during my life, as Im 38 already. And being healed at 50 or how long it takes, is good for nothing anyway

 

You flatlined after orgasm to porn images too? Have you ever had your penis shrivel/shriveling from too many orgasms to porn images? Did you ever feel better, mentally?

What are your habits and lifestyle like? Don't give up, keep going! It could be your mindset too.

 

In the 2 x 300 day streaks, how many times did you O?

 

I havent used P for years. I had smaller penis and I guess a flatline after a orgasm with my gf. We practiced no O sex for like 6 months and than this.. it took like a month to get better.

I feel semi ok when I dont O. After a O I feel like shit always. Its like this for last 3 years I guess.

I live healthy. Yes its most likely a mindset. I programed myself to not like a orgasm so I can reach long streaks and heal myself...

Thanks for a kind words

 

Zero

 

Ok, but what was it that caused the 2 x 300 day streaks?

Just trying to understand, because your scenario sounds a bit similar to my own.

 

Anytime brother. I hope you get/feel better!

 

Wow that's crazy!!!#SMH

 

My decission was behind it. Ive decided I want to go this long. Than I applied the skills, discipline, willpower to get there.

Im also trying to understand what you are asking, really.

It felt like a right way to go, so I went there.

Whats your story?

 

Sorry I misread your original post my mistake. While I don’t know your situation, I would guess that you could be a severe case and any form of O is slowing your recovery. This would be the only reason I could think of?

I am 33 (a few years younger than you), but I have noticed that recovery seems to be a lot longer for those 28+.

I have been recovering from PIED now since July 2020 (27 months). I’ve never relapsed to P or M and have only had 4/5 orgasms in the past 2+ years, all of which were attempts at sexual interactions. My last orgasm was 8 months ago and I fell straight back into flatline/PAWS. At the moment I’m again in what feels like a flatline and have been for around 40ish days.

What kind of symptoms do you get after you O? Did you say it’s a whole month before you recover after orgasm?

 

No worries

Well. My state after O depends on how many Os Ive had previously.

This year Ive decided to test it. 1st orgasm (all with girls but it does not matter at all) was to end that 300 days streak. It was devastating. Almost immediately I started to have huge brain fog, slight stuttering, mistaking words. Few days after, my autoimune disease, which was 99% cured, remanifested itself. Oh boi... the WORSE.

It got better soon. Than I had few months pause. New girl. 1 O with her. Took me week to get better. Next week another O. Even worse 7 days afterwards. I did it like zhis maybe 4 times and I was completely messed up.

Had 3 weeks pause, orgasm and that was my last because:

1st week I was almost suicidal. Iven when lying at sun at beach, my psyche was so dark. Terror. Looking bad. Feeling bad. Zero confidence.

After every O my willpower drops. I stop excercising because its impossible. My diet goes to hell because of no willpower. All my life just falls appart.

Honestly, I dont even enjoy describing it here. Just like bathing in my old past mysery!

Im good now. I think Im at 2 or 3 months no O.

This year tests of orgasming were terrible! I also gained weight. Ofcourse I did :/

So I listen to my body, eff orgasm for now.

Yes Im a hard case. My pied is not 100% cured but Im miles better than years back. I still improve.

I can get a new girl and penetrate her on 1st try. This took me almost 5 years mate.

Be4 it took me 1 month to briefly penetrate my gf. She was so patient and that saved me! I was unable to have orgasm in her for 1 year. Than we split because of other reasons.

I had 200 days hard mode and new gf came. I was better, but had premature ejaculation instead, BUT was able to finish inside her.

Every step took a year. Now I can get girl, penetrate her, last long (very long) and have O.. so kind of healed. But not 100%

Post is too long

 

I must say my life improved a lot. Before my confidence aroun girls was zero. Of course..I was almost virgin and realistically speaking impotent. I looked like shit as well. Inside and outside. I was poor, in debt, stoned, smoking cigs, drinking alcohol, coffee, old clothes, mess in my apartment, jacking off, and much more shit!

All.. and I mean ALL.. of this shit is gone

 

5 years of recovery is insane. I take my hat off to you for sticking with it - really glad that you are recovering, even if it is slowly.

What you are describing is pretty much what I have been experiencing for the past 2 years. After an O I just drop back into a long flatline with a load of symptoms like brainfog, fatigue, anhedonia etc. If really bad, I get the horrible stuttering too, something that nobody seems to experience.

Can I ask what your morning wood was like throughout the journey?
Approximately how long was it until you were able to get an erection strong enough to penetrate again?

For some time I have been experiencing really weird autoimmune responses too, this week I randomly woke up with 6 or 7 sores/ulcers inside my mouth and then the next day I woke up with flu, not to mention that some days I experience diahorrea and other symptoms. I'm not sure if this is the same auto immune body responses you meant?

Sorry for the questions, its just what you described is pretty much my current circumstances. Trying to understand where I am at in my own reboot.

Thanks

 

I went through all of these y'all talking about and much more. I'm in my 7 years of nofap with 16mo hardmode as longest streak. My symptoms were at their peak between mid 2018 to 2020. Any explicit content my eyes lay upon, brain fog seem to intensify.
Base on what y'all said, it makes me realise that the last 3 relapses I have from pmo are the reason of huge brain fog, anxiety, confusion, low energy, constipation, abdominal pain, social isolation, bed ridden and much more return in my life. Because I've started getting better and I thought one relapse from pmo wouldn't be so bad. Wrong!

 

Thank You And damn, sorry to hear that you suffer thru this as well Mentorr.

Well, before I started no PMO I even forgot what morning wood was. As its years already, I dont remember everything, but it returned relatively fast at the start of the journey, but than there were parts where I lost it for quite a long time. Those were the deep flatlines years ago, where the penis was just DEAD for months. So it was on and off... Id say last two years I have stable morning wood. It disappears when Im ill, or very tired, which is natural I believe.

My autoimmune issue is self-diagnosed, because I was on tests and they found nothing...as usually.. so it might be psyche based. But basically what is happening is, that like 2,5 years ago, suddenly joints on my arm start to itch in a strange way, than they felt like I need to stretch them, and crack them. Than it got to other hand, leg fingers, arm joints yada yada and after a month I felt it everywhere but jaw, so it was funny... than it went slowly away... returned in a lighter manner.. than that 300 days streak killed it, but it returned after that O for a while... now I feel it very little bit etc... so its somehow under control, what ever it is. But one HUGE O after 300 days totally shocked my body and it returned like a lightning. Later orgasms this year did not affect it tho...

I had the flu like feelings few times after some bigger physical exhaustion tho. Felt like flu but the next day or 2nd I was ok, so it was not a virus.. strange.

No worries about questions, Im glad I can talk to someone about it. Thats why I returned to these forums. 1st to encourage ppl, share some skills, and find someone who can relate and exchange ideas/experiences.

No worry, we will make it thru. Its our path, thru struggle we grow, and this path we go is noble AF so...

 

So based on that, the symptoms peaked for you after cca 3 years, lasted 2 years and the 2 years after that were good, until you slipped back? That would mean Im at the worse phase, as Im at no PMO since 2017 so around 4-5 years now. So maybe after 5 years it gets better for me as well... Big respect for the 7 years war you went thru. And a reminder for myself, that the battle never ends, in terms of possible slips.

Yes, the symptoms Ive forgot to mention were also anxiety, confusion, low energy, isolation... also after my last O I had really messed mind with sex. Totaly. Everything I saw was triggering me AF. It was disgusting. And when I saw a nice hot young chick, my mind was just so weak from all the crawings for her, I was like some lowest most needy scum on earth. Glad its gone. It was a weakness of mind at its best.

I remember the days is 2017 where someone here told me it can take years and I was arguing with him so hard... and here I am at the end of 2021... LOL

Still, the journey makes sense. I went UP ONLY since 2017 (ofc I had slips, it was a fuckin battle, but NEVER GAVE UP)
If I imagine where I would be, if I continued to PMO for these 5 years, its scary. Possibly dead... Instead of that, Im quite good. Yes, Im not too stable, but its night and day, so its worth it.

Also, I helped few ppl in RL on the way. Just few girls Ive dated. They were the only ones who listened. They opened to me, and I saw the classic scenario, already escalated to crazy shit. Girls escalate to things like "50 men ejaculating on her" or animal stuff.. BAD. So Im helping ppl who listen. And I see they are as messed up as I was.

Also, ppl around me, on streets etc... its getting worse. They are DONE. Its sad. But I cant save everybody. 90% of ppl have very deep porn issues.

 

@Legacy of Lost Soul thanks for this, you are answering so many questions that after 2.5 years I haven't been able to find. I think most of the community recover within their first year of abstinence. Then there is small percentage of us that do not fit the standard recovery criteria and have no idea what is actually going on. Thanks for coming back to share your message - really appreciate it.

I haven't had stable morning wood in a long time, 20/30% at best when I do have it and its just had me worried for a long time. Just like you I started my first 7-8 month streak getting 50-70% morning wood fairly regularly, then about a year ago it just stopped and I haven't had it since. Even now I am just stuck in a flatline with no idea when it is actually going to life. It has basically left me wondering what the hell is going on.

• During your recovery has it also just been long flatlines, or did you have days where you were cured and then dipped back into them.
• Do you think had you not orgasmed over the past few years you would have recovered by now?
• Also you seem to have been successful with hook ups, can you give any thoughts on whether its worth attempting to date going forward or to stick with no O and wait things out.

Thanks again

 

I've never really got a month break without any withdrawals symptoms since 2014. They just became worse mid 2018 to 2020 as I was committed to quit pmo or reduce the consumption considerably. Longest streak was 16mo hardmode(2019) and 70 as the 2nd one(2016). Before nofap, I was pmoing heavily and escalating till death grip and so on, so the addiction was deep. So 4 years of pmo including the first year I discovered nofap. It was an on and off battle to complete some good streaks on nofap.
I had to quit working in 2019 because the symptoms were so unbearable. Since then I've been bed ridden, before and still is to some extent.
Some symptoms I have that refuse to go totally are tinnitus, joints cracking, brain fog, constipation, agoraphobia, panic & anxiety attack, dementia type symptoms, muscle stiffness, shaking, nausea, feeling of passing out or unable to breathe and so on.....
Funny I was unable to list them in some other other post due to huge brain fog.

 

Always happy to help and to share info, I benefit here as well.

ad1) I used to hit the flat line around 3rd month of hard mode. The long streaks were basicaly flatlines but than the summer came and I had a big urge to mate. So kind of how the nature intends to have it?

ad2) not at all, I dont believe orgasm with a female in (strong) moderation is bad for recovery, and that leads us to:

ad3) I believe and experienced that the recovery has 2 parts. It depends on WHAT you recover from tho. I needed to 1st recover from PIED, than from delayed ejaculation, than from premature ejaculation and now Im recovering from lets say Post orgasmic illness syndrome (POIS) As Ive said, I was almost a virgin at my age of 33. I had few times sex, but I had PIED even when I was 15 and had my 1st sex, and it never got better. So I had some attempts, like 1 time full sex and that was it.

So my recovery 1st needed to be:

DEWIRING - stop doing PMO. Weaken the neural pathways for P and M. For that its really best to go HARD MODE. I thing I was one of the worse cases, so for ppl like that, I suggest like 200 days combined in few strong streaks (hardly any newbie can do 200 in 1st streak)

REWIRING - get a woman. Its nice you weakened the old pathways, but u also NEED to create the new ones. Yes its embarassing process. As Ive said, I was not able to even get hard to briefly penetrate my ex for AT LEAST one month, possibly longer. And that was brief moments, I got soft in 10 seconds. Ive spend a year getting better with her. But no chance in hell I would have a orgasm in her.

(than I had 200 days hard mode, than new girl, learned to orgasm inside her but had premature ejaculation, we separated, another hard mode streak, new girl, learned to last long but had issues at the start with PIED, we separated, another hard mode, another girl, learned to dont have PIED during 1st sex etc... its a process of getting better and back to normal)

And since than, I combine both. I still Dewire, and I still rewire as described. Meaning I dont watch P, I dont masturbate, but I try to get woman, TRY to create meaningful relationship (I suck at that but I try, my longest relationships were 2 of almost one year) and have sex with em. Without trying to have sex, I still would not be able to have intercourse, no matter how many years I would be in hard mode. Thats what I think at least.

So it depends, on what you try to achieve, why you are on this journey?