I'm not new to this but I just want to start writing more often. I relapsed last night and I've been relapsing for a year now. I want to rid myself of MO and PMO for the rest of my life. I want to live a pure life and grow physically and mentally. It's so hard to even try sometimes though. I got in a car accident a few days ago and couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. I always lie to myself and say "oh I'm not looking at anything weird the porn I look at is normal stuff" but the truth is it always sucks the energy out of me and I walk around like a zombie. I also reflect on my paste too much and think about how much better I was doing in my nofap journey a year ago. I still cant get a girlfriend, I'm always impatient. I just want to quite this stuff for good and feel good about myself again. Quite making excuses and grow some. It feels like I'm always only giving 60 percent effort
If you're having trouble putting together a lasting amount of sobriety, you probably need some help in the area of accountability! 12 step SA meetings have sponsors to contact everyday with your issues, not just with the addiction, but with life's general issues. Weekly meetings help you get in touch with other people who struggle with similar, if not the very same things you do! The SA website has info on finding a local meeting near you!
Today I feel better but I still feel sick from relapsing. I don't think a sobriety group is right for me as a man I don't want to trouble strangers with my issues. That's just my personal belief when other people get too involved it makes me uncomfortable. I know I can handle this it's just the matter of manning up or not. This website is plenty enough group for me to talk to.
Just remember when you start nofap/ semen retention, the first 4 days are always the hardest after that your brain will start to heal and your headaches will go away
Might be exactly what you need, brother. You need genuine connection with other humans to live a fulfilling life, whether you like it or not. If you are hiding this secret from anyone from the people in your life then the relationships you have are not genuine. A group of people who understand exactly what you are going through and who will accept you even after learning all the worst things you’ve done is a likely good place to start building a support system. This could be crucial to your recovery. This article is relevant: https://aschermd.com/the-opposite-of-addiction-is-not-sobriety-it-is-human-connection/
I do Jujitsu with a large group of people so I think I have genuine human connections to other people , I'm not hiding it from anyone I told my dad a long time ago. Why would it benefit me to tell people the bad things I've done, I can form meaningful relationships without going to confession that's not gunna erase what happened.
Ok, sounds like your life is great then. Just keep doing exactly what you have been and you should be all good, right? The fact that you’re coming up with excuses for not event trying it, to some strangers who will never even know if you go, tells me that you are afraid. I’ve done plenty of the same thing so there’s no judgment, but I do think you need to really think about it. I have a lot of criticism for the 12 step organisation and methodology, so I’m not even wholeheartedly recommending it. This sounds like someone who is pushing people away. You posting this and immediately and completely writing off the idea shows me you are in denial. (It is very common here). You might also gain something from looking into other common cognitive distortions. These are the types of thoughts that will really hinder your progress. https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-distortions/#common-cognitive-distortions
It's not about you telling other people what things you've done, you don't need to say anything in 12-step meetings. For me, especially in the beginning, it was about listening to other people share about their struggles, their journeys. In their struggles, I saw my own. I realized I wasn't alone. This forum is great, but there's nothing like experiencing this in real life. It's inspirational to hear folks who've had the struggles we've all had share how they're managing to overcome them. I also don't completely agree with all aspects of 12-step groups, especially SA. But they showed me through direct experience that the article by Dr. Ascher article that @newsocks shared is 100% spot on. Here are some other sex and porn addiction 12-step groups to check out: SAA SRA SLAA
I've been a porn addict for 50 years brother. I've had long stretches of sobriety. It's when I isolate, when I get complacent, feel like I don't to do anything about my addiction is when I get into trouble. That's why Ive gotten into trouble. Now just finishing day 2. Looking forward to a recovery meeting tomorrow, though.
Just my two cents but it seems to me you made a thread just to complain instead of actually trying to improve yourself
Why don't you start a recovery journal? Then you can come to terms with your own specific issues privately. There is great therapeutic value in simply writing shit down.
I recently started to value writing my thoughts. I started writing short storys I too believe writing is very valuable