Females Attraction Through Internet?

Have you ever had women copy you through the Internet?

For example, if you talk about a gym or coffee shop and you have a hunch there is mutual attraction, they like or follow that gym or coffee shop on social media? And there are many other odd behaviors and coincidences I have observed in my personal experience. Notably, once I told this girl she reminded me of a certain anime character, and she soon updates her profile picture wearing a hoodie that has the same exact same and unique colors that that anime character wears. Another time I told this girl that I like her photo, and she then updates all her social media profile pictures to that picture.

What I want to know is are they doing this because they like you, or to test you? Is there a higher law or quantum algorithm of the universe that rewards retention and purity by encouraging my ego as a man to Think that she likes me? Because if I try to take it as a cue that their subconscious mirroring of me means that they like me and I try to talk to them, they never seem receptive. Then why do they do it, or am I crazy? Lol

 

Ahh, maybe the purpose is to give me a bigger ego, whether women are receptive to me or not, thereby making me more likely to make a move, which displays my ego, which then attracts her—or, it’s not even about attracting her necessarily. It could be to just give me a bigger ego to act, thereby increasing my chances to get what I want, a female partner.

 

Yes, good point! Before I thought it was some “quantum algorithm” God put between people who are attracted to each other, but more holistically it is exactly as you say that God blesses a pure life that honors God, and this is not limited to just opposite sex attraction.

As for if abstaining from porn and masturbation is good in God’s eyes, absolutely yes, and I can tell you with a thousand percent confidence from what God’s Word says and from my own experience that indulging in porn and masturbation is sexually immoral.

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”
~1 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV)

“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
~Hebrews 13:4 (NASB1995)

The Bible clearly explains that lust is a sin, and that’s the only thing you do when you indulge in pornography and masturbation. Lust is desiring something that God has not given you permission for—permission not necessarily from the women themselves, who can be loose obviously, but from God, who gives us permission through the covenant of marriage. This is as clear as day to me, but I remember before I was saved being confused and lost in ignorance.

Since I began losing weight, I found a correlation between overeating and sex. I found the reason I am overweight is because I was eating for satiation, even when my body did not need more food. God gives us taste buds to enjoy food, but we should not “worship” eating; people eat as a way to escape depression or boredom. But we should understand that eating is for the body, and the pleasure of food is a blessing; we shouldn’t eat for the pleasure; we should eat for nourishment, and the pleasure is the fruit or blessing of that nourishment. So sex is a fruit of marriage, and we shouldn’t pursue marriage or pursue women just for sex, but it is the fruit of the union between two people who love each other. It is not something that should be worshipped or sought after or even discontented without. It has its proper place.

When we are not enveloped by that strong lust, our mind is “freed up” to have genuine compassion and care for people. Lust via pornography or masturbation will cloud the mind so that it cannot view its objects as people to be loved and have genuine compassion for. I have been enveloped in lust, and when that cloud is lifted, the difference in mindset is as stark as night and day so that I say, “Wow, I can’t believe how Unable I was to view the objects of my lust as people, being driven by lust to pursue their bodies.” Lust and pornography are ultimately satanic, and I still struggle with viewing women in the most wholesome and genuine way today, not because I am enveloped by lust today but because of my history. For example, sometimes I worry if I treat women I am not interested in but who show interest in me poorly from being too indifferent, distant, and detached, I worry that my detachment comes from wanting to detach from the shame of the sins of my past, and I don’t ever know if such detachment would have been normal if I had not ever poisoned my mind with years of pornography. It still affects me, and I can only hope that my mind and proper thinking will be reconstructed as years put distance between me and the sins of my past.

So yes, absolutely, flee sexual immorality—so many people even on this very forum are lost and say things like that masturbation is healthy in moderation. Absolutely not. It destroys one in proportion, perhaps, to their use of it—absolutely, abstaining from porn and masturbation is good in God’s eyes, and indulging in it is sexually immoral and self-destructive and destructive for those around you too who it reaches out to and poisons indirectly by proxy through you.

 

We are called to purity, whether we are able to realize the ideal of it or not. You can’t say that it’s too hard because the male sexual drive is so strong that you might as well not try, or you will give in to your lowest instincts. A man’s role is to conquer. He conquers lands. He competes against other men. He protects his spoils in life. But he also must conquer himself. Life is more than sex. If you think that romance is just about sex, that sex is the only prime motivator, you will be in for one long, unhappy marriage where you enjoyed each other’s sex for a while, but you aren’t truly happy because you can’t connect with her on a deeper, spiritual level because you only thought it was all about sex, and I would say vice versa for her to, but she isn’t driven by sex like you are, and if she picks up on that, she won’t even pick you in the first place. Just being honest about the nature of a woman. Otherwise, she will just choose you for her lowest instincts too. While yours is sex, hers may be money, for example. Hopefully you can search out the scriptures and find a deeper, truer love in Christ, called agape. His love for us is called a sacrificial love, and this is the kind of love with which we are called to love our wives. Seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. In this way, Jesus through your love of the truth will conquer the primal instinct of sex, so that, Lord-willing if you marry, you may control it, restrain it, and use it at the right time as a display and reflection for the deeper love you have in Christ. This is also what I mean when I say sex should not be pursued as the end-all, be-all.

Right now, if I understand your frame of mind correctly because I too was once addicted to pornography and masturbation, the power of sex is so powerful within you that it drives you to lust and you don’t yet have control over it. I am telling you from much suffering of fighting the lust myself that there is a much higher and more beautiful way, but I don’t expect one to believe me because the lust can be so powerful that it blinds one to seeing a higher, more peaceful virtue.

Re-reading your post to make sure to answer everything…

When you say sex desire flares up making it hard to believe in as I put higher virtue of caring for people apart from sex, I tell from experience that it is possible. I have fought this earnestly for maybe six years. Yes, when a female walks in my line of sight, it is very difficult to not just wholeheartedly desire her… I try to do different things like remember she is a person and try to restore her dignity in my mind—I am far from perfect, anyway—but I can tell you I have more or less conquered pornography and masturbation. Like yes, I slip up unfortunately, but I am no longer a slave to it. I have more control in my will to say no to it, and if I give in, it’s just because of boredom, whereas before it was that I just thought I couldn’t escape so I didn’t even try. Now I know I can escape, but if I give in, it’s just because I am so bored and don’t feel like fighting. I know these two go hand in hand, not feeling like you can escape and just feeling so bored and depressed that you don’t feel like trying when you are tempted, but what happens is, and what happened with me, is that the more you fight this battle, the more willpower and neurological mechanisms your brain builds up to resist the temptations, again so that you can control it more at will, and I can promise you that it makes you a Real man—because real men are in control of themselves, and that should be our very goal as men.

P.S. Actually, I am past the level being so bored that I don’t feel like resisting. Actually, with much practice, that resistance has become so solidified in my mind that it is just a part of me now. It’s like I’ve completely numbed out those desires that I never gained mastery over. We don’t start out in control. It must be learned. Now I just am not tempted. If a woman walks in front of me, or an image does, I don’t hardly dwell on it like I used to. My mind dismisses it quite quickly because it’s more ingrained in my mind that it is just Not An Option. I’m still far from perfect of course. But the more we practice this, the stronger and greater willpower we build, and ultimately this is what women are really attracted to, if we desire them, but women aside, this kind of control is what is responsible for much salvation in the world. See Jesus and Paul and other of the saints for example… as to the great impact they had for saving and bringing people to know the Lord.

With no genitals, i.e. eunuchs, I don’t believe men and women may interact sexually, but that doesn’t mean they have to interact sexually with them with genitals (modus tollens “denying the antecedent” fallacy). See Jesus and Paul again as celibate examples in the New Testament.

Statistics show that a majority of men inside the church are enslaved to pornography. That doesn’t make it okay or futile to resist though (fallacy of appealing to a majority).

 

Oh neat!! And thanks!

 

Oh, I understand. Yes, there is no excuse. I’d like to say I’m free from it, but temptation will never cease, this side of heaven, as a Christian. We just grow stronger the more we deny our flesh and flee the temptation. I know I am much “stronger” than I ever used to be, and the only time, in the last five months, was when I was so bored just scrolling through FB… but I know I had complete control but just didn’t care to say no. The sad thing is with each relapse it feels just as hard as it was the first time to get back to not “feeling” addicted to it—at least, that has been my experience, yet the longer I go in abstinence, the easier it is to remember or to get back on track if I do fall, not to take that for granted because again it is simultaneously hard to just get back to a level of strength before I had relapsed again. Anyway… it is hard to explain. I feel stronger than I ever have been, yet I know I am not immune to temptation, so I just hope that one day I can say I am truly free, but I think I should have to have a record of a year without relapsing to have a metric to go by to say that I’m pretty confident that I’m free. Thank you. God bless!

 

I have found that relapsing doesn’t completely reset my clarity back into a brain fog. I still retain the clarity that my mind has somehow “built up,” even if I relapse and look at porn again. Then I will be discerning things a lot more than before when I had never fought, addicted to porn, and had never built up that clarity. It does hinder growth, but it doesn’t completely reset it. Just a thought… how the energy we don’t waste is used to cultivate more and more strength and ability and will power. So keep fighting, and eventually, it will get easier, but for a time I think you have to suffer as much as you indulged in pleasure because “for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.”

As for having a relationship, with the Internet these days, I think it’s much easier to find a match with online dating, but there are red flags you have to look for too.

But my advice to any man is to just focus on yourself, enjoy life, and in the right time you will find someone. Don’t obsess or think too much about it… I would have a lot more thoughts and my own wisdom or experience to share if there was a specific topic to speak to.

 

Oh, I don’t have different “levels” of relapses, except the longer you spend time doing one of the three PMO, the worse it is. It’s all bad, as you said. So yeah, I equate them in a sense because as you said, one leads to the other, so I avoid it All. Even if I look at porn but don’t MO, I still find I have lost mental energy that sets me back I don’t know how long—maybe a couple hours, maybe a couple days—of productivity I would have had that evening if I had not even entertained the thought.

 

I think you commented on the wrong post.