Hey all, I was minding my own business on the internet when I purposefully searched something that (might) have led to porn and then I had seen the thumbnail of something that triggered me. I ended up watching some stuff for a bit before I decided to cut it out, no masturbation or anything, though I do in certain ways feel like I have less energy now. It is just incredible how I have been clean for almost two years and then I got triggered by the smallest thing to start peeking for some time, but I had enough power not to go through with masturbation (I have been avoiding that since I have an addiction to it). I feel really ashamed that it happened so easy and out of nowhere although I of course did not give in all the way. I am debating going back to 0 days after all this but I am still unsure what to do. I just cannot believe that happened and I am trying my best not to keep going right now, even if I only have a little bit of urges to keep going.
You are fine, no need to reset the counter. Congratulations, you are now a normal person who sees porn as the stupid acting and uncovering of genitals it really is. You did nothing wrong, it was just normal curiosity, I did the same today and realised what a stupid bunch of garbage porn is. Consider yourself a non porn user brother. You made it.
Thank you for the encouragement. It is just incredible how this stuff messes with you man. It is not even fun but you can still feel the compulsion to do it, it disgusts me and yet sometimes it still gets to me like this. That is what makes the addiction so heartbreaking...
yup, fit naked women will always be a draw to us (its supposed to be that way). Just because we can look at them, does not mean we should though, saying this as much to myself as much as you, if not more).