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Rebooting is working to clear long-standing fetish!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by HopeSong, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. Nov 21, 2015 #1
    HopeSong

    HopeSong Fapstronaut

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    I'm a bit more than 50 days into nofap. WAY longer than I thought I could make it. I'm more than making it. The urges to M are few and far between now, which is freeing up energy. For the first time in my life, I can sleep in a room where some friends are. I can go to sleep listening to an audiobook. I'm getting my mind back, and my time!

    Also, some stuff has happened in my life lately that, before, would have brought this addiction into full swing again. I have actually been around some very strong triggers -- not on purpose, but by necessity. It seems like the thing I had the fetish around is being decoupled from m and o, and from excessive fantasy. It isn't all perfect. But man, is it better!

    This is a huge relief. I'm a female who has been struggling with a fetish for as long as I can remember. I'm learning that the fetish had lots of emotional significance, and that it got tangled somehow with sexual feelings and fantasy.

    For the first time, I can notice the emotional import of that thing that used to be a fetish. And I can sort it out, accept that the thought of it still brings some sexual activation -- but it's no longer leading to sexual behavior.

    So, I'm amazed this week.

    Another unexpected result of nofap that might seem more mixed, but that I think is good: Doing nofap has highlighted other problems in my life, stuff I didn't realize I needed to deal with. Disengaging from all these behaviors has made me take a look at the yucky feelings that I'd been figuring were porn and m-related. There are some real problems in my life to be solved.

    Reminds me of a line that I heard at an SAA meeting a long time ago: "If there's a smell in my kitchen, I can M to distract from that. But there will still be a smell in my kitchen!"

    I'm finding all the smells. Some of them aren't as easy to get rid of as I would have thought. But I'm approaching them as directly and honestly as I can.
     
    HopeSong, Nov 21, 2015
    HopeSong, Nov 21, 2015
    #1
    SolidStance, NetherRey, ds112358 and 3 others like this.
  2. Nov 21, 2015 #2
    Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    Happy to hear you're doing well! stay strong!
     
    Thechosenone, Nov 21, 2015
    Thechosenone, Nov 21, 2015
    #2
  3. Nov 21, 2015 #3
    Iggy

    Iggy Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on in the brain, but the fact that you feel your fetishes are disappearing is a surefire way to tell your brain is healing itself! Thanks for sharing :)
     
    Iggy, Nov 21, 2015
    Iggy, Nov 21, 2015
    #3
  4. Nov 21, 2015 #4
    FreedomIsHere

    FreedomIsHere Fapstronaut

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    Keep it man! You're doing awesome!
     
    FreedomIsHere, Nov 21, 2015
    FreedomIsHere, Nov 21, 2015
    #4
  5. Nov 21, 2015 #5
    APY

    APY Fapstronaut

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    Huh, this is really cool. I have a fetish myself, and it somewhat makes me feel like I'm not normal. I always figured that my fetish was apart of me. Seems I was mistaken. Can't wait to see what happens to me.
     
    APY, Nov 21, 2015
    APY, Nov 21, 2015
    #5
  6. Nov 21, 2015 #6
    IGY

    IGY Guest

    Hey @APY! You may not be mistaken at all. I do not know the details of your history with masturbation, porn and fetishes. So, I cannot advise you with any certainty. But I will give you a general 'rule of thumb' which might prove useful.

    Some fetishes are porn induced. They usually start when porn use becomes boring and novelty becomes enticing and the types of sex you choose becomes more graphic, taboo or extreme. At this time a fetish (or fetishes) can emerge. In such cases, they fade and eventually disappear when your brain heals and eventually reboots.

    Notwithstanding, there are other fetishes which appear pre-porn, some at very young ages indeed. These do not fade when you use porn less. So you need to think back when your fetish(es) developed and under what circumstances. Take care. :)
     
    IGY, Nov 21, 2015
    IGY, Nov 21, 2015
    #6
    APY likes this.
  7. Nov 21, 2015 #7
    APY

    APY Fapstronaut

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    Ahhh, thanks! Mine is actually pre-porn. I'm fine with it. I just don't want it to be the center of my life.
     
    APY, Nov 21, 2015
    APY, Nov 21, 2015
    #7
  8. Nov 22, 2015 #8
    nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Interesting subject, I too have had a fetish for as long as I can remember. Not sure how or why fetishes start, but mine has been a constant forever. It's always my go to when I MO and finding so much content that catered to my fetish in high speed internet Porn sent my PMO into overtime. It's doubtful that my fetish will go away, but the fetish is not the problem, the problem is being obsessed by it and excessive PMO.
    Fortunately I'm slowly learning how to reduce PMO and create a better life through positive changes. The rest of who I am is not something that worries me, because I can always work on changing what I don't like.
    Peace.
     
    nomo, Nov 22, 2015
    nomo, Nov 22, 2015
    #8
  9. Nov 22, 2015 #9
    g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I do think my porn related fetishes are melting away, but not completely gone yet
     
    g2stop, Nov 22, 2015
    g2stop, Nov 22, 2015
    #9
  10. Nov 22, 2015 #10
    NetherRey

    NetherRey Guest

    When you have been with PMO longer, take me as an example, like 8 years without the effort of breaking away from it, like really constant. Is it possible to move from watching P related to opposite sex to P related to same sex? Is it considered a fetish? Maybe it's a great thing that I stopped before I could have gone to a much extreme genre of P.
     
    NetherRey, Nov 22, 2015
    NetherRey, Nov 22, 2015
    #10
  11. Nov 22, 2015 #11
    Bearommesa

    Bearommesa Fapstronaut

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    Nether, I have heard of numerous people who have went from watching straight porn i.e. opposite sex to gay porn i.e. same sex. Sometimes they feel like they have actually become gay, and other times they only feel attracted to the same sex when watching porn. It seems unless you are naturally gay without it being (for lack of a better phrase) porn-induced, you eventually return to your norm - whatever that may be. Anyways, best of luck with NoFap
     
    Bearommesa, Nov 22, 2015
    Bearommesa, Nov 22, 2015
    #11
  12. Nov 22, 2015 #12
    Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

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    Dogwood, Nov 22, 2015
    Dogwood, Nov 22, 2015
    #12

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