Day 3: It's so hard to lose control. I feel like I'm a machine with a glitches, I could stop anywhere and just stay there with a thoughts, forget everything. But that's ok, I know - the farther the better.
Just the thoughts. Sorry if the language is bad: When I walked through the darkness, The path of destruction. I couldn't see my inner corruption. But suddenly I heard whispering voices: "Son, you're about to make some right choices, See, life is great, but you're getting a shard Of a beautiful mirror, and you fall apart. Your habit is constantly breaking your spirit Open your eyes wide, and now you can see it. The goals are set, now your ship will sail. What is your objective?" I must not fail.
Day 4: Support is real. But thoughts are so weird: I can't even understand why, but recently, walking around naked like some kind of freak (exhibitionist) seemed like a good idea (I almost did it! Why?!). Despite that everything is normal.
So, the challenge is on, counter up from day fourth. My OCD keeps me stalk back and forth. And I know it's bad, but it's not getting worse Even when sometimes... I swear and I curse. Today I want to stop my enormous anxiety Applying myself to the NoFap Society. I tried to play chess, but my brain didn't work My head filled with clink, someone hit tuning-fork. I tried to watch cable: no Netflix, no Chill! There was "Basic Instinct". Great movie! But still... I switched TV off, started to train But my arousal grew with the pain. It was like no chance, felt myself like retard Even though I trained today twice as hard. I was tired, that helped, cause' I went to sleep But I woke up too soon, cause' my dream wasn't deep. So I wish to keep moving on this dangerous way This is just the beginning. Just four days away.
i play chess with computer level set to 'kindergarten' i dont watch much tv. grew some plants. it's rewarding to see their thick stems. realizes that slowly and steadily a plant grows and just like that we also become strong slowly and steadily.
Day 5: Let the thoughts come and let 'em go. Finally, images from the P are erasing from my memory, much less of them. There are still some issues, but now it seems to be closer to reality. I think controlling my desires is only a matter of discipline.
@Chris Kross :: good to know that you are making healthy progress. A small piece of suggestion, if I may -- please never become complacent with these small steps, we have a long journey to go and there are many battles to be won..
Well now, move on. This ain't the end. I felt a little better. But let's not pretend That this short-term is what we need The tree's about to grow - but it's just a seed. Adjust your seat, we gonna cast a spell To kill the addiction and the stress as well. To the wishing well our prays should go - Fight on Chris Kross, don't stop the show! Days in slow-mo, my friends are far from me. Real-life "Home Alone", as close as it could be I'm like a bee, it only takes one sting To cause "Death Star" to the my X-Wing. - Mighty swing, then mighty throw - Measure now, how many days in row? - It's five point O, sir! Can I move farther? - No, you tell me, I'm not your father! I guess I can, the way I stand Looks good. And still... This ain't the end.
Day 6: Finally went on the walk. My Pillow is crying cause' I became more distant and cold. But I still love her. I know that kind of love can ruin my streak, I'm trying to get over it, but damn... She's so hot.
This day was cooler but in the end I felt stress: What if I've mistaken with this "Healing Mass"? What if all the efforts are just self-deception? "Inception" vivid dream to avoid erection? Exception. Who are you trying to be? Fair question. I don't know and I can't see It was my decision, I have a right to decide Coming into collision, I'm about to lose sight Of my past relapses. - Did you forgot your guts? - Returning to the PMO? - Tell me, are you nuts?! I'm sorry, that was sick. - Oh yeah, that was. - Like stealing policeman's badge or purse. - Don't hesitate. Do what you need. - Obey the rules and you will lead. I will proceed. Thanks, I'm on six. I'll climb the mountains and reach the peaks.
Day 7: Energy is overflowing me. I spent the whole conversation joking and laughing and everything was fine... Until the friend of mine (he's awared of my challenge) sent me anime with girls in mini-skirts. AAAAAARGH! Must stop! Stahp! I don't watch anime but the pics... No. Don't do this.
DONT DO IT! STOP! Thats the right things you ALWAYS have to tell yourself! Remind yourself that it is not worth a bit M to stupid pictures or videos!
Thank you, man. I needed this a lot. I will hold on. And, I have to say that I wish everybody there would be provided with such a great support. Together we stand, divided we fall.
Day seven, and I'm here just in time, Oh, my! Oh, my! May I have a rhyme-rhyme? Cause' I've got to say something that is for you My lovely visitors, you're getting me through. And it's my time to pay the bills Let me describe how good it feels: Our power is the key to success And don't settle for anything less Than you deserve, calm your nerve Life's a curve, can you hear these sounds? Look, there will be ups and downs Evil thoughts - chasing hounds. Heavy struggle, day by day When it's harsh, there's words to say: Light is on, you are my Sun Fight together, all as one Just remember that we don't run We can beat this, make it fun PMO is my demon though Kick it away and let it go Faith is my only strength I will make my own revenge With the force I have to forge I'll find a way to handle urge Treatment is my way to purge Peace and calm will end the strife That's the way I return my life.