Today I restart my journey , although I have been here before and know what the challenges ahead are.. I regret slipping and falling back to porn. this year has bin a hell of a year struggled alot. I hope I can stay strong and pull through for myself and my loved ones
Day 2 is looking to be okay, having strong insomnia tho, probably due to bad habits formed . I can't imagine myself as a sleep early guy. I am an amateur programmer currently struggling my way through php. sleeping isn't my best friend . hope today will be good tho .
Creating a different sleep pattern is a difficult thing to do if your current one has been long established. I struggle with that one myself. Unless I am extremely tired, my body may tell me that it's time to go to sleep but my mind is not ready to cooperate.
It is a big issue for me too, I don't know if I should learn to accept it or force myself to change ... what do you intend to do about it ?
It is a slow and progressive change in long learned habits where I begin to stut down everything a little earlier and a little earlier in order to go to bed earlier. I have trained myself over many years to be a night owl and early mornings are difficult but I have learned that beginning my day earlier is more fruitful. By keeping an early alarm time, I am slowly training myself to go to bed earlier because when I don't, I am tired and at some point I go to bed earlier because of exhaustion from being up too late too often. Even when I don't mentally want to go to bed earlier, more and more I'm going to bed anyway and more often than not, I fall fast asleep. This retraining, like retraining from PMO has many failures and I am doing much better with PMO than I am with getting enough rest but I come far, for me, with my PMO, journey so I know I will eventually get this.
Today was an okay day.. woke up way to late. was excited about Chelsea win tho was very wonderful game. I am talking to this strong Christian girl that makes me feel happy , when I talk to some other girls I have had something to do with or i know i can if I worked harder, all I do is have sexual thoughts(objectifying them). I am also caught in this thought of not wanting to be played , I kind of see the worst in most girls , thier need to use guys for money or to cheat. because I have friends that have bin cheated on and more that sleep with this girls that are in a relationship. maybe they are not all the same but the fear of bin played makes me rethink things . this girl makes me calm and thino of God more, but imagine if I find out something nasty about her, will that break my believe totally . I need to kill this habit
Today has gone quite okay. I have bin sleeping alot this days tho . there is a passage in the bible for people who sleep and lose thier way lol, that might be extreme but I believe it to be true . met up with an old friend . I usually relapse on Sundays so I have to be strong . lost my habit of going to church.feels like I just give myself excuses not to go tho
i didn't make any changes , I just let it be having regrets now though slipped back to many times since this thread , the girl didn't work out in this thread .. Lol just felt I had to reply you were keeping up with me then. Thanks a lot
I am back at it again , I am planning on joining fellowship I think I need it to be around people trying to make their lifes better.So the girl in this thread didn't work out , I feel like I relied on her way to much maybe I wanted us to share our burdens .. No mention about pmo but she learnt a lot about me and I don't regret it (i think lol). I think this journey for happiness is between you and God, they are no shortcuts it doesn't exist (you can't expect someone to hold your hand through it).i actually relapsed today but I gained a new strength and I hope I will build my life more , negative thoughts can destroy a man. Anyone have ideas on changing your mind or renewing is a good word, my brain is filled with bad images and I can't not meet someon new and not have them. Any help ?? I love you all let's keep fighting
Hello brother, i read your messages. I'm struggling with the same problem. Relapsing alot even after coming here. I'm an amateur programmer and Have wasted too many nights to pmo that my sleeping habbits are disrupted. I'm although trying to bring some discipline into my life by atleast sleeping early. Slowly Working my way out of this mess that pmo has created in my life. We gotta make some changes in our life that will make us less vulnerable to relapsing. For instance sleeping early is one. I'm trying this one out for now.
Spend time working on yourself first before trying to meet a girl. Spend more time with God in prayer and with Bible reading. Replace fleshly images with Godly images through spending time with Him.
Yeah bro I am an amateur programmer myself, I feel like our need to be always with our laptops alone causes us to relapse and we have to stay up at night working on things they needs to be a way out, we will get out bro. My sleeping is still messed up I feel like I don't do enough during the days , no much physical activities you know