Been whacking 5-14 times per week for the last 15 years. When I whack, I view porn for anywhere from 5-60 minutes. I have a small dick, and got made fun of a lot in high school because of it. It's 5.5-6 inches. Was able to manage to sleep with a number of girls in high school, but after sleeping with me 1x, they didn't want seconds. I'm assuming it was because of my dick size. In college and thereafter, I've only managed to sleep with one or two fat chicks. I started with pictures around 2003-2005. A lot of big dick porn, and I would only whack to blowjob scenes. This was high school. Then in college I got heavy into IR. This was 2005-2009. I used to worship Spring Thomas. I watched them all, but ST was my favorite. I used to watch the beginning BJ, fast forward thru the sex, and then watch the cumshot at the end. Eventually, around 2008, I went from regular IR to cuckold IR. ST, and eventually Candy Monroe. I noticed cuckold movies have become very popular over the past 4 years, and sadly, I've been watching this kind of porn before it was called cuckolding. Watched a lot of Candy Monroe post college from 2009-2014. My favorite part was when she'd SPH the white guy, or make him eat the cum. Then around the last 2 years, 2014-2016, I moved on to some pretty hardcore shit. I watch a lot of femdom, facesitting, chastity porn. If it involves some BBC cuckolding, even better, but even if no cuckolding is involved I'll still watch it. I really enjoy watching the girls put the chastity cage on the guy, as well as facesitting where the girl sticks a dildo in the guys mouth. So far, I don't watch any legit gay shit. My fear is that I'll end up down a bad path where I'll start to watch some gay shit like forced bi and pegging. I think I have a problem. IRL, I have no self confidence, no friends, no social skills, and I'm too scared to even talk to a woman. Also, I've never paid for porn. Never did chatting, webcams, subscriptions, etc, etc. Too cheap. I only go to the big free search engines that we all know and used to love. I want to quit whacking. So far I'm almost thru my first day!
Yea obviously. You should really put a trigger warning on this thread, Too descriptive of your porn you were watching
Dont focus too hard on labels, just recognize porn is having some negative effects on your quality of life. Try no PMO fir awhile just to prove to yourself you can do it. Theres no reason not to try it - worst case scenario nothing happens - but I predict you will undergo some serious realizations if you do legit no PMO for a few weeks or more. Just give it a try I will never go back to my old ways after experiencing the physical and psychological benefits it has yielded for me personally. But everybody is different. Choose your own destiny and do whatever the fuck you want to do we all just chillin on a rock in space.
"My fear is that I'll end up down a bad path . . ." You're already there, my friend - gay porn or no gay porn. Be mindful of the words you use in writing, speaking, and even thinking about PMO - not just for the sake of those of us here with sensitive trigger points but also for the sake of yourself. The words we use to describe something infuse it with a particular meaning and character and therefore are a reflection of how we perceive and think about that thing. A big part of recovering from PMO addiction (and yes, I believe it's safe to say you're an addict) is developing a healthy and effective mindset both about the nature of your addiction and how you will overcome it. Brutal honesty certainly has its place and I sense that's your primary purpose in presenting such a graphic and salacious account of your experiences. But just as our perceptions about things influence the way we describe them, the way we describe them can influence our preceptions. Take care not to let your words infuse the addiction with the very sort of power, luster, and intrigue that draws you to it in the first place. For instance, you emphasize how much you "really enjoy" and "love" these PMO experiences you've had. While this helps explain your situation to us, you could certainly get your point across without expressing such enamor or lust for these experiences. Doing so unnecessarily grants the addiction power and control over you and your life. You must begin to see, feel, and speak of the PMO problem in terms of what it really is: a bad thing; an illness to overcome; an experience you do not "really enjoy" or "love" but which you detest with every ounce of the true self you know are and wish to be. So take care, my friend, to think, speak, and act with mindfulness; our thoughts shape the words we speak, and our words shape the actions we take. Careful management of your perceptions about PMO will go a long way in changing how you respond to it. All the best, Sandpaper
I have been addicted to similiar genres of porn, all what you describe i have been there and beyond. I am now 70+days clean and i can tell you it gets better over time . I can tell you that i have gone "beyond" what you have, if you can say such a thing about addiction that is. You can send me a pm if you like, we can exchance experiences with rebooting and help each other out if you like. As they said here, try not to label it too much, it establishes power for the addiction but you are on the way! Keep going, dont give up!
NoFap will help you get over this fear, because porn is a big source of it. My dick is probably slightly shorter than yours...maybe 5 inches or a tad more? When not aroused, it retracts most of that length. Guys are definitely, IMO, way more concerned over their size and even other guys' size. I think we therefore project that concern onto women, when it often isn't there in the same way. I honestly think that many, if not most, women prefer an "average" size over very big. But if the guy feels inadequate, that vibe comes through, and is a big negative. I don't claim to know why those girls never came back, but it might not all have been about size. I had the same fears as a young adult, and porm only reinforced them. I didn't even bother hooking up with women, being so shy. It is only in recent years that Ive gotten over my negative self body image.
I don't know what penis size tables you have been looking at, but 5.5 - 6 inches is not a small cock. I can only assume that you were influenced by the porn you were watching i.e. big black cock. These are chosen for this genre, it's not normal.
Its average actually girls dont really like really big penises because all of aren't all porn stars and can take 10 inch dicks all day, its probably hard for us to understand as addicts. I don't really like my big penis (NOT bragging)
Take from some one who has just recently figured out his addictions with PMOing come from a life of feeling cuckolded. You have a problem. However in my honest opinion your detailed descriptions are not u seeking help but rather another way to sexually arouse yourself by detailing how small and pathetic you are pretending to be. I also agree with the last poster. 5.5 to 6 inches is not a small dick. Mine is 6 inches and perfectly functional and never felt like or was made felt like I had a small dick. The average is about that length unless ur a porn star or a horse
