Morning all, been labelling my thoughts as sexual distractions when I see them for what they are. It has been helping me get out from underneath that all consuming feeling of them. Hope everyone is doing well. Keep strong, stay smart.
Well I'm on day 25 but I have an interesting dillema. I think I had a wet dream last night but I'm not sure because I've never had one before. I was trying to go to sleep and while I was in this half asleep state, the part of my brain that controls my resistance to acting out just kind of shut off. (Trigger warning) I started humping the bed until I finally climaxed. I was mostly concious throughout the whole thing. Should I count this as a relapse or not? I really don't want to, but if it is then I guess I'll start over.
Thanks, man! I really appreciate it. And I couldn't agree more, team work and sharing ones struggle with each other is a great one to find strength in this battle. I'm not really sure if you were actually intentionally doing it or not, but here is my opinion regarding this kind of stuff: If resetting will make you feel bad and probably make you slip 10 times before getting on track again, it is pretty much working against you. The idea is that it should be a motivation, not a anti-motivation. Being too hard on yourself isn't useful all the time. I usually believe that if you're not sure if you have done something to reset your counter, you probably didn't. On the other side, if you think you will end up using that wet dream again as a resort just to release and keep your streak going as an excuse, then it might be a problem. I'd say it never happened before so you're good for now. Next time you will know how to deal with it better.
Well, I feel kind of bad, but not near as bad as a full relapse while conscious. It kind of felt intentional, but not. Like I wanted to stop myself but also I didn't, because it felt good. In the past I would usually use a situation like this as an excuse to relapse more but this time I haven't. I'm not going to count it for now. I don't feel totally drained like a normal relapse, but I feel a tiny bit drained. Thanks for the advice, man
KC - it does matter greatly and speak volumes of your character that you would bring the situation here to be judged by peers. I am proud of you for being so honest and up front. I agree with Maske, I don't feel like it was intentional and you should not reset. Stay strong and carry on! ;0)
Hey @Burner1 thanks for not dropping the ball. It feels pretty good to come here every couple days and see some notifications. It's like the reward for not indulging on pmo. haha, weird, I know. I'm doing fine lately, tomorrow will be day 20. I've been having some epiphany-like thoughts these days, regarding self-love, being sincere with your own desires, interacting with women/people in general, empathy, etc. These changes on perspective on a bunch of subjects seem somehow connected to Nofap, since I hear so many people talking about these things on the "Success Stories" board. I don't have much time to write right now, but I'd love to share these thoughts some time in the future. If you guys want to chip in and talk about mental changes you've been going through (if any), it would be cool. Cheers!
Good morning, it's good to see you all here. Epiphany like is a good way of putting it. I p-subbed a bit last week, and still fantasise, consciously and un consciously and I realised last week that I'm do those things in the same way and for the same reason I pmo'd regularly. I once heard someone say porn isn't your problem, porn is what you've been using to avoid your problem. keep strong and honest.
That last phrase is spot on. Porn is like the drug you use when you want to run away from your problems. And thinking about those 'epiphany like' things I mentioned in the last post, one of my biggest problems, that probably made me use porn in the first place is the fear of not being approved, not being liked, failing, caring about what others think. I believe I started with porn because it was a pretty good way to reach orgasm and feel good about myself for a while, without actually having to ask a girl out and dealing with the possibility of receiving a big 'No." Actually, all the girls I've been with to this day, were girls that I knew were interested in me beforehand. So there wouldn't be any chance to fail. Today I see that I missed so many opportunities when I was younger (with girls, work opportunities, etc) , only because I wasn't sure if i would succeed. I'm trying to change that, risking more, not being so afraid of failing, etc. It's hard but being on nofap is the only way to accomplish that.
Good posts Fellas - keep them coming. You guys are right on target within conversation. This is what guys your age need to understand: pmo is a temporary escape drug. Learn to work through things - you have value And worth.
Morning @Burner1 @maske and anyone else still around in this thread. I'm good, I spent a nice weekend with my girl friend. She is going away next week so I'll be on my own and that's a big trigger time for me so will be logging in daily during that time. Part of it is feeling alone. There was a period in my life a few years ago when I felt desperately alone and used porn to avoid and try and fill in that sadness. Life is so much better now but when I am alone an echo of that loneliness comes back to me and it's almost an unconscious reflex to 'escape' to pmo-ing. The other part is just boredom and laziness and porn offers a quick rush for almost no effort, so going to plan a number of things to do and people to see. Hope you're all well.
@stephanD I understand your situation well. Thanks for sharing and trusting us to help you. My suggestion would be to post here when you are struggling, be detailed so that you have to process what is happening which should help you take command and prevent a reset. We will rally around you for support and encouragement.
Thanks @Burner1 its good to know you guys are here and really does help. Thanks for caring. How are you doing?
I am doing well. Urges are in check and I am on guard. I'm like everybody else, one choice away from a relapse. Talking with you guys and knowing I'm in the fight with friends (not alone) is my motivation source. It's great doing this together. Thanks for asking. Let's keep up the good fight!