So I listen to Porn-Free Radio which is a podcast on iTunes that mainly deals with porn addiction, but also relates to fapping. One of the episodes was called "The Number One Mistake People Make when trying to quit porn". That mistake is not having any consequences for a reset. I haven't looked at porn in a few years and wouldn't say I was ever addicted to it, but I thought that this guideline would be helpful in trying to break the fapping addiction. He's clear that this is not intended to be any kind of a punitive, beat-yourself-up-for-failing kind of consequence, but something that can help motivate you not to fap. Or it could be something that could reinforce your commitment not to reset again. He gave several examples of consequences that he had for himself, and a few that he knew other people had enforced for themselves. I've been trying to come up with a consequence for myself and am kind of drawing a blank. My financial situation is such that I think a financial consequence is not a good idea for me. Sadly I can't really think of much else. He talked about temporarily giving up something that you enjoy- like giving up TV or Playstation for 30 days. Well I am a graduate student so I already never watch TV and I don't even own a Playstation or Wii or anything. Anyone have any bright ideas? I want to find a meaningful consequence but I am really stuck.
You could try planking for a certain amount of time. Planking is a great exercise that really works your core but I find it quite stressful to hold it for a long time, it's how I punish myself if I relapse. If you don't work your core often I'd say start with about 4-5 minutes but the longer you go, the more motivated you will be not to fap. If planking doesn't work for you try another exercise that really pushes you over the limit. Trouble is you have to have the willpower to enforce the consequence.
Some ideas that have helped people in the past. 1) Cold shower 5 minutes. In summer it can be nice but not when it's chilling outside. 2) Pay a fine. Something that hurts depending on your financial situation. Donate to a charity, to a campaign, to your church. 3) Fasting. Fasting is a great resource to overcome this addiction. You can give up some specific food or skip a meal. 4) Confess. If you are catholic go to confession and tell what you did. If not find a confident and tell you lapsed. I hope it helps.
4-5 minutes continuously?! that is a long time to do a plank. I could probably do it in interrupted periods.
The only issue with self enforced penalties, is that you have to enforce them yourself - it can be easy to justify it and not face the consequences. Maybe a good idea would be to find an accountability partner that would enforce a penalty FOR you, so you couldn't get out of it. A close friend; someone who wants to help you through this. Someone who is literally going to take your laptop away, your coffee machine, your car keys - whatever. You'd just have to be honest with them.
A good consequence for messing up would be a limit on how much you get to spend time on the internet. So if you relapse or something, only an hour on the internet for a day or two.
Again, grad student.... Internet is a requirement. Although I could limit non-school related internet time, such as personal email and facebook.....
The consequence is that you miss out on all the amazing benefits of a life without PMO. You miss out on life man, that has to be the biggest consequence there is?
If you fail, drive to the nearest river or lake and jump in naked, no matter how cold or dirty it is. I think it has to be something drastic like that, which might even scare you. I tried a lot of pushups for every time i fail and it works great .. for regularly doing pushups It is just too harmless to have the desired effect.
kingp1n: That is going to appeal to you while you are in a calm state of mind, considering things. Not so much when you want gratification now. Only short term consequences count then.