Post published by Tantalus

greetings wankstronauts ... another UK member so arguably from a different planet to many of the fappers from across the pond

Very little discussion here : I for one could do with a mutually supportive community

From my perspective, despite my age, my wankery has really started to cause me problems in life. Draining my focus, my time and my sense of self-worth. I have increasingly included less visual and more chat based pornography : there are such a huge number of adult chatrooms and on-line ways to indulge in every idiosyncratic deviancy.

I work for myself and often have long periods alone whilst at work: I used to be in IT with a lot of work from home which became a bit too much "wank from home" : these habit have long histories for most of us I imagine

Why is this time different?

I am sure all of us here have gone through the mental anguish, the self-loathing, the desire for change, the belief it can be different and then the failure: the repeated failure as the availability and diversity of porn just becomes overwhelming. The ways in which I can cheat and bypass myself never ceases to amaze me. I have tried porn blockers, ISP based restrictions, modification of HOSTS files, SAFEDNS, Cold Turkey, modifying my router.. you name it.

But good ol monkey brain can always find a work-around, a way to get at that which it craves. My conclusion is there is no "barrier method": these tools help but they can't stop the Hyde in me from taking control

This time round I am going for more meditation, bio-hacking and increased exercise and training

In order to radically change my habits I must radically change myself: body, mind and spirit (in a non religious sense)

One of the comments below questioned why so few UK members in NoFap? I am pretty sure it is not an indicator of a difference in the levels of porn addictions between here and NA. Much more about the identification and acceptance of the problem. Having lived and worked in America for a few years, their society is less secular than ours and still has overtones from the original puritans who settled there. That still echoes in attitudes to alcohol, sex, porn. The UK is increasingly secular. That difference in moral framework combined with different attitudes to mental health and therapy probably contribute to a difference in definition of problem behaviours.

Anyway, long ramble but something of a brain dump

Anyone who is here is here for a good reason: and being here is a good first step