Post published by Griffin2018
I came across a great meditation in the book "Answers in the Heart" that I got from my SAA meetings, and it basically pointed out that addictive craving is based on the thirst for more. That is why on an emotional level, gratitude is the polar opposite of craving, because it is satisfaction with what we have, rather than desire for what we don't have. In the time to come, I hope to reinforce to myself that I have enough. When my cravings come, I need to teach my heart that I have enough as it is, and any fantasy/porn/etc. is just unnecessary excess. I don't actually need it, even though my brain is screaming that I do.
I think I am on board with the 2nd step. This is huge to me because I've struggled with the concept of God for a long time, at least in relation to impacting my life. On a theoretical level, I believe God can restore me, and I think the reason why I used to not think so was because I was buried in so much pain. I guess I'm ready to start working step 3, which will be challenging for me, because even though I believe God can restore me, I have a hard time thinking that recovery is anything other than me thinking the right thoughts, doing the right things, and surrounding myself with the right people, so I don't see how the acts of a higher power fit in there.