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Just relapsed after 14 days. I feel so horrible. I am the creator of the group and I haven't even gotten out. I am just the blind (not even) leading the blind. I have to keep more focused.
You created the group? This doesn‘t mean you need to be perfect. We‘re here to support each other. No matter what. It‘s great you created the group. The relapse is shit. I know that feeling. Relapsed quite a few times.
We all know that feeling. But we need to keep going until the day we get strong enough to completely quit
If someone's here, no matter their struggles and setbacks, they're not blind.
I relapsed two days ago after a month. It was a horrible, horrible feeling. No arousal, no enjoyement, no desire. No sense. Just self-inflicted pain and hatred. And I was craving for more of that as soon as I finished. I was about to pretend I was sick for the rest of the day and stay in bed (imagine where that could've lead) when my dad asked me to help him with work. I slowly started, full of bleakness and regret, with simple tasks like tidying up, and you know what happened?
My head began to clear up, and started to actually think about what I was doing, then, I got into the actual job with newfound dedication, and worked my ass off, dedicating all the attention the materials needed, and got back home feeling good like I hadn't in weeks. A single relapse does not affect what you've built up before. Everyone gets moments of momentary malfunctioning. But giving up because of one and going on a binge does.
A relapse is a sign that something is going wrong, so when that happens, that means you gotta fix yourself, in the way you know works better. But the key thing is to DO something. You gotta want to turn THAT day upside dowm, not start tomorrow. Or at least, balance it. Take a book that's interesting difficult to read and try as hard as you can to understand the first page, or the first paragraphs, work out, fix something in your house that needs repair, clean up, but DO SOMETHING.
The key thing is to "balance" the dopamine of the seeking system with endorphines from the reward system. And the only way to do so is to produce them yourself, no one and nothing else can do that. Except a mate. Or heroin.
u need a strong motivation. like i have "my ED problem"
its been 125 days of NoPMO for me.
just keep on at it man, how about reading or writing ? Something non-fiction preferably like buddhism ? I'm a believer in his teaching and yet finding myself learning new wisdom from him every time a read a reread a book on his teaching.
(In the buddha's words, Old path white clouds)
Ps : you're human after all, try again with the knowledge you learnt from this relapse, if you learnt nothing then you should catalog yourself to see what you did that lead to the next[ hope not] relapse :V
How I have 6 yrs 7 months off of Craigslist is astounding to me. I.could.not.stop. I now have 172 days no M snd 257? off P. This too is incredible to me. Again: astounding. I’ve had a THOUSAND day 1’s - a THOUSAND!! Easily. JUST GET BACK UP ON THE HORSE and read Your Brain on Porn ppgs 105-145.
175/262 is the correct count.
@Maninsearchofasoul How are you doing?
I'm alright. Did it once after this but been doing better