chromegnome

In 3rd grade my parents sat my brother and I down to tell us they were getting a divorce. It destroyed me. From that point on my self self esteem dropped and dropped until I was constantly worrying about what others thought of me. In 5th grade, at 11, someone I had seen as a cool kid was talking about words I didn't understand. When I asked about it they told me to look it up. What I saw disgusted me. But if they liked it I needed to as well. Whenever my parents would fight (they stayed together because it's "good for the kids") the pictures would make me feel better. Once I discovered fapping a few months later I had established my out for the all the pain I felt from my parents fighting.

At 12 my church group had a lesson on the dangers of pornography. That was the first time I realized how empty I felt. I was now afraid and embarrassed. Nobody could know the terrible things i'd done, so i'd just have to clean up on my own.

It was too hard for me and I slipped into a depression. I read a book about a girl who cut herself because she blamed herself for her sister's death. I tried it out and it made me feel a little better. Not good better, but the physical pain was so much less than the what the porn and my fighting parents caused that it freed me up a little.
at 14 when I really got into running I finished first in every race and finished the year as the fastest kid in my city. This process really boosted my confidence, I was still fapping but the cutting was gone.
I prayed every night for help, but I kept on going, the porn never stopped. I went on a two week camping trip which was the longest I had ever gone without, but when i got back i started right back up.
At 16 I ended up telling my Bishop about my problem, and my mom found out. It was a short conversation but essentially, while they expressed their worry, I didn't get much help from them. That was the turning point, when I realized the only person who was going to help me was myself.
When i turned 18 i realized 2 things. I had never had a girlfriend, and I was now an adult with a problem. This actually made me really angry. November of 2013 I got a job, bought a car, and stopped watching porn. I kept the fapping but gave nothing to feed off of. The urge died a little but it was still apparent. My self confidence rose to the point that in February of 2014 I decided I was actually going to ask a girl to prom. I stopped fapping completely and a week later when I asked she said yes.

Everything was great until June. I had a mental breakdown. I was so stressed I would have anxiety attacks no less than 20 minutes apart all day. I was getting no sleep because of them. The girl I asked to prom broke things off (we had been seeing each other since prom). I started fapping again.

essentially now that I'm in college and out of my parents' hell hole I'm ready to start back up again, and I have no intentions of failing this time.

TL;DR
I've been on porn for a long time and I'm finally in a situation that I can quit for good