I went onto this website and just said a bunch of shit, got kicked off. It made me realise how socially awkward I am. I take jokes too far.
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I fucking hate people. They only want you around when you're useful to them. You know what? I'm going to be useful to myself instead.Day 12, not day 8, day 12. How can I be less of a pussy when it comes to making decisions for myself? How do I stop people pleasing?I've been rejected 10 times (with one maybe, but I won't count on it). This is my worst trigger x10. The guilt has hit me. What should I do?I've been banned from a website and had one of my posts removed on another. I can't reach my friends because of the lockdown. I might PMO.I saw one post on this forum that triggers me which basically consisted of a 40 year old desperate woman begging for sex for status.I started peeking again (trying to get people on a chatroom to 'fake' sleep with me, yet being too afraid to ask them). Help.Dopamine-rush headache, sexualised thumbnails and trolls sending me sexualised pictures of women. I was unaware that this would happen.Had a nasty social anxiety attack and skipped work. I know why I must quit PMO now.Just got triggered by a thumbnail telling me to go jerk off to relieve stress, I'm not gonna do it though.I woke up at 3am after going to bed at 12am. I'm not counting the little 'peak' yesterday because it was forced upon me, but this is bad.Currently triggered and scrolling the internet for arousal.I seem to be stuck in a 3-4 day loop. My original plan was to PMO every 3-4 days, but this sucks because I was stuck in a 20 day loop beforeRelapsed, I just peaked. That counts.Relapsed on day 3. I'm going to start No Nut November. The last time I did it I got to day 17. If I've done it once, then I can do it againRelapsed, day 4.
How are you doing budster -
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