The last relapse i had was over a month ago (first time in a long time i have gone a month without porn). When i relapsed the last time I was probably around day 20 of a streak and when i relapsed I didn't want to do it but could not stop myself. In the past my sessions would be around an hour, because I would look at different videos, but on that last relapse i just found an old favorite and used that one video. After I was done i just walked away from the computer. I think the reason was that in my streak of 20 days I was able to identify a lot of root causes and was better able to know why i did what i did, and that I did not want to do it again, and how to prevent myself from losing another streak. i keep a journal I update at night and put a Yes in the column that reads, "Did you avoid porn today?" and that day it killed me to put a No in the column. Never want to see that again
Nice way of preventing relapses. The guilty feeling of putting a No in that column can enforce the intention in never wanting to relapse again.
So far I’ve relapsed twice in 70 days and surprisingly the urge to binge isn’t strong. I guess guilt plays a big factor, but also the desire to really go somewhere with this. I’ve binged my entire adult life and personally I’m sick of it. As challenging as this is, there’s a sense of relief and refreshment to just having one orgasm and that’s it. I’ve never done that before. So even a relapse, you could argue, is normal, as long as you don’t binge. And while I don’t want to relapse, it’s rewarding to think that Evan having an orgasm once in a while is still a huge milestone for me. hope that makes sense.
Once I decided to relapse and focused on not binging. It was over soon. The relapse happened after lusting over photos on tinder so basically it was binging but I did not watch porn for long. After the relapse I would go 2-3weeks without porn and then relapsed again. Urge to not binge is hard but it is way better to not binge during a relapse so keeping that in mind could help.