It's really strange,as I've probably never written this out before. Most of my teenage years I've spent struggling with most things I was involved in. It was not so much struggling as not reaching my full potential. I probably discovered porn or what i considered stimulating content at age 10-11. Also the point where i really started putting my walls up to anyone i did not know before as my dad died around that time. I could lose myself in gaming, caring less about real life then i should have. The first few years of my arrival at my new school my grades were not remarkable, extremely average. I didn't really (want to) stand out in any way as i recall it, I was another gamer, more to the no-lifer spectrum. Desperate for creating an image i could hide behind. Something I really wasn't. Also been in an all boy youth movement for several years. No girlfriends, as in ever. Quit gaming thinking things would fix themselves, -surprise surprise, they didn't- Started going out, started drinking, and so found a better way to get myself away from my thoughts. About 2-3 years ago i finally managed to realize i was throwing my life away. Realized excessive drinking wasn't going to get me closer to getting a girlfriend I started looking for solutions. Read all sorts of things including PUA books, dating advice, speaking & communication skills. -desperate much?- Still not a lot of change, almost failed last 2 years of high school due to lack of motivation. note that during this time when i wouldn't fap for one or two days i'd have a wet dream, which embarrassed me so it was easier just to lose the excess semen pretty much all the occasions I found. Managed to get through somehow, in college now. Baffled by being let through I vowed to change things, i would learn to be more effective and efficient and so dedicated myself to becoming better. started browsing, reading and applying everything i found. I did become better in some parts of my life but my time-management, perseverance and willpower were still as bad as before. Before long i read on "theartofmanliness" increasing testosterone could effectively increase productivity and some of the other things i wanted to achieve. over a period of 2 months i started working out more, eating healthy, still found myself demotivated and tired, started looking for and explanation and stumbled on "YourBrainOnPorn", took what i read to heart but wasn't able to successfully quit for longer than a week. This went on for a month and i got sick of it so I started looking for an explanation. Now I'm here, still haven't been able to quit longer than a week so far. At 2 days now, and committed in a way I was not before. Found, deleted and blocked all the access to porn/adult content I can find still finding loopholes -very annoying, and being way to creative at it- Apparently I've written a book, it may be a little on the long side but I'm happy it's finally all of my chest. PS: I'm European, where are you guys all from? (continent or country)
Good luck. This is definitely worth a try. You may see big changes...after the initial discomfort of withdrawal. You might like this guy's vids: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4ujctdYJnQ Did you see this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvyejdlmKpE&feature=youtu.be
Saw the second before yes, I did really like the other one, seems like he has solid advice, i subscribed immediately, thank you
I like the idea of the confession. We should encourage people to look at their past head on. I think like AA you need to realise you have a problem before you can fix it.
