Day 233 no PMO. I was still feeling down and angry yesterday when my dad called and I had to take him to the hospital. He will be ok. It’s interesting how helping others is so good for lifting my mood. I need to find a way to help others more often. When he called I just jumped into action and immediately forgot about my problems.
Day 17 I’ve survived yesterday, it was shit. I was just tired and cranky all day long. But tonight I’ve slept 8 hours and I feel so much better. The urges are getting stronger and one thought in particular is massing with my head. I’ve been reading about what to do in berlin in the winter and everywhere I’ve look they write about the sauna’s in berlin and how everyone is naked there and stuff like that and it is massing with my head. I come from kind of a restrictive society, and all of my life the idea of nudist beaches and naked saunas always sounded like one big happy orgy party and I was obsessed with it in my PMO days. Is there anyone here from northern Europe that can calm me down and tell me what the hell are this sauna phenomenon all about? I would really love to hear that there is nothing exciting there because I can’t stop thinking about it.
Another thing I wanted to ask about. YouTube has this thing on their app called “Shorts” that shows up on my regular feed. Some days the videos there are fine but a lot of times they have tempting content on them. I have not completely fallen (only clicked it a few times and realized it was a bad idea and got out of there) to the videos but it does seem like it could be a problem at some point. Do you guys know if a way to turn those “shorts” off in my feed? It seems to be short videos from TikTok. I’m not on TikTok as I assume that would be an awful place for a recovering addict.
Relaxation theory I've always been very tense since very little. I even had bruxism. Yesterday I went to the dentist for a check up. He told me some of my teeth are wear down they look as the teeth of 40 year old man. I've been told this since I'm 18 y.o by another dentists. It's been some years without bruxism. I consider my tension caused by a need to always be at top of what I do. But it has affected my oral and general health, causing me difficulties to fall asleep and even to think clearly during the day. Even do I have meditated and done yoga all my life this has not been enough to battle stress and tension, also being a physician is a very stressful job. I always had the idea I needed to be more hardcore and tough to be better. I took 180 degree approach two years ago, now I try to fight stress and difficulties with being relaxed. I've taken this to the extreme, even before a very heavy and scary squat I try to be extremely relaxed and focus. I could be facing bankruptcy, a heavy lawsuit or a life and death situation I try not to fight but instead I just try to be as relaxed as it's in my ability. This has improved my performance, my peace of mind, no longer sleep problems and I no more bruxism. Also long semen retention streaks are way more easy while being relaxed you can't fight nature, sex is part of you, if you are relaxed your sexual energy just flow. How to be relaxed? More than a practice like yoga or meditation is how you see life and face difficulties, be like water that flows and not like a strong stick that can break. If you face a difficulty don't fight it, instead do the opposite relax and that way you deal with it better. Conclusion - try to be relaxed not fighting against yourself to keep a streak
Day 8. Since starting this reboot I have been experiencing cravings which have me realizing just how badly I needed it. I'm beginning to realize that masturbation itself may be addicting to me and my ability to visualize sexual experiences may be just as addicting as porn itself. This is disheartening in a way as it feels like a setback but in a way, it is a step forward as I have learned something new about myself and the way this addiction has a hold of me. I'm really hoping a flatline will come soon.
Day 15: Hobbit at last!!! "finally, I have reached the shire, the orchards are filled with pumpkins and the wheat is ripe for the harvest, the townsfolk are happy to see another succesfull season, and my arrival is unnoticed, yet their mood is contageous, and I am also glad to be back home" 15 days have past and they have not been as hard as I thought they would be, it took me a few days to get back on my feet, but here am I; however, my past experience tells me to tread lightly, because the flat line is a misleading state, and the urge is always waiting, growing stronger, prepared to for the attack; still, my average has improved greatly, who could tell that this community could be more helpfull than some friends, thanks in advance, and lets keep going; I am feeling better already; have a wonderful day every body!!!
that´s a coping skill you need to develop bro. you got to face your problem, work it out, or accept it if you can´t change it. but face it, don´t run away. when you hide for cover that´s when the addiction takes over.
well, i never went to a sauna but it sure doesn´t look like a pleasant experience. but that´s secondary. just because society does it, you don´t have to do it. society is plagued with bad habits, as you know. plus, since you were obsessed with that in the days of PMO, then, it´s a fair guess to say that the "sauna atracttion" has something to do with the addiction. so the moment you´ll get there, you´ll probably start fishing. my advice is stay away from those things. say "no" to the sauna and see how your brain reacts. if you become grumpy or disappointed, then fishing has been detected
Congratulations brother!! I´m happy for you. You are a Hobbit now . Here´s your Old Toby: I hope you got your backpack ready, because your journey starts... now!! Good luck!!!!
Checking in Fellowship!! Feeling better today, still a bit tired but much better than yesterday, and little brain fog. I resume today my cold showers and wim hof breathing (which i have stopped because of the excruciating back pain of last week), and that really help me regain my energy and mood indeed super powers appear with nofap, but they will only appear if the other good habits are in place. nofap by itself will not change much. this is also true for withdrawal sympthoms. Have a great day Fellowship!! Checking out. Here´s more recovery wisdom from "your brain on porn" "The medical profession is far behind the times. I spent thousands of dollars on doctors, including a well known urologist specializing in ED (had to travel hours for that one); thousands on tests; thousands on pills. ‘Erection to porn means it's in your head ... take some Viagra.’ Not once did any health care professional say to me, ‘Hey, watching porn too much can cause sexual dysfunction.’ Instead, they offered other explanations, which are not proven to be linked to ED and typically did not apply to me anyway (e.g. anxiety, stress...even though you don't show any indication of either; diet...even though your weight is normal and you eat a balanced diet; low testosterone...even though low T hasn't been linked to ED except in extreme cases, and your T is not really low). Then there's absolutely horrible advice from ‘sexologists’ who are so bent on being ‘sex positive’, they not only deny the potential negative consequences of porn use, they actively ridicule the notion of porn-induced ED.[163] So, though I feel stupid for not making the link between porn and ED myself, the fact is I sought professional advice and porn was never brought up except in a positive light: ‘Everyone does it, it's normal...in fact, it's healthy.’ I evaluated the possibility of surgical intervention. It would be between $25k and $30k out of pocket and the results are not encouraging (penile revascularization). The day after that appointment I stumbled on this information. Oh my god...what a revelation and relief. And it works. I'm not 100%, but I've improved dramatically and things keep getting better. All I had to do was quit fapping to porn. Unreal. Honestly, I'm a bit angry given that I sought solutions from professionals, including specialists, who graciously accepted my hard earned cash yet gave me bad advice."