i'm on 37 day without fap and watching porn and what do i? yesterday and today my libido was on very high level. I was thinking alltime about sex, but about real girls and today on the 37 day I was watching girl on sex camera... I was thinking I won't touch myself just watch.. and i watch without touching and i got cumshot without touch my dick... and about 1 minute later i masturbated and i got cumshot again... now i feel a little bit better but next time i won't do it. Every morning i have very hard erection and i'm thinking about real girls... What should i do next at my situation?
"No touch and watch" is a lie of the addict subpersonality within you. Your inner addict succeeded and got you to relapse. Plus, if you are trying to fight Porn addiction, too, and not just MO, "watching" in this medium is a relapse, too. In the end, you now know for all the next times that you cannot ultimately sustain real recovery with such dabbling behaviors. You either need to choose to stay addicted and dabble all you want, or cease dabbling altogether for a possible chance of recovery.