Hey, guys, I’m 35 and until 2 days ago completed a 144 day reboot in hardmode due to weak erections and not being sensitive enough during sex . Despite my girl being very sexy and wonderfully well endowed , I would not get hard at all just being naked with her or kissing , cuddling , etc . Just no activity down there . Every time before sex she’d have to start off by fondling me and giving me a BJ before I get it up hard enough to get going . I’d take an ED medicine to help . I’d get a decent erection and had lots of sex and would sometimes last a long time (lack of sensitivity ). But I realized it’s abnormal I don’t get hard by visual cues alone and wanted to get increased arousal . This was 6 months ago the last time I was with my girl . On July 8th 2021, I decided to start nofap hard mode . At age 35, I had been fapping many times a day since the age of 14. And porn I would watch until last year . 1 year ago I quit porn completely . And 140 something days ago, on July 8th, I cut out all forms of masturbation. No edging , erotic images , no touching my penis except to shower , etc . All of it done : I said I’d only have erections and orgasm with my girlfriend . Well, here I am, late November 2021 almost 5 months or hardmode and I’m disappointed. I finally see my girl after all these months (she’s abroad) and I still don’t get that arousal and erection just from seeing her naked . What the hell ? I still require manual touch and a BJ to get going . But the worst part is now I am extremely sensitive to the point that within 2 minutes of her grabbing my junk and going down before I even achieve a fuller erection, I ejaculate loads and go down right away . I’ve had oral from her 4 times in the 2 days I’ve been with her so far and that’s all I’ve been to able to do because I don’t last for shit due to ridiculous sensitivity and because before I even see if I get hard enough to penetrate I have already cum/orgasmed . Before I started nofap hardmode , I would require touch and a BJ to get going as I said but I had less sensitivity and she could go down in me a few minutes and I would continue getting harder enough to tell her to stop so I can go inside her - now I can’t even do that . Why am I also not getting that level of arousal where my dick just stands on command at the sight of a naked woman ? It’s been nearly 5 months of hardmode and I’m only 35. During the streak , I had 5 sexual dreams but no wet dream ever . I wake up with morning wood most of the time . Is this it for me ? I’m stuck with eréctile problems ? Or maybe 5 months is not enough time ? My testosterone has varied between 490-642 , I wake up with wood , and don’t have any health problems . Please help me guys . What’s the matter here ?
You need more time for your brain to get that visual arousal. I used to have sex with my ex the same way as you. Oral stimulation to get erection and then penetrate. Never figured that pmo fucked my brain. Depending upon your years of porn usage and pmo. It takes time to reset. You just keep trying with your gf. Your brain would get back to its old template. My advice would be to use the pills for few months while you train your brain to get arousal only with your gf. A real women and not porn visuals. The sensitivity your expericing will go away after few days or weeks. Its not going to last. You will get better with time. But never go back to porn.
Thanks for posting this. Sadly I have nothing to offer you as I'm fairly new to NoFap myself but your situation is incredibly similar to mine. I'm kinda worrying this is my future and I'm only 25 days in. I get morning wood but damn do I just wish I'd get a solid boner from being with a girl, seeing her and touching her.. It's an absolute mission to get it going and it seems broken, it's not meant to be this way. I wish I'd just see a hot girl in the gym and feel movement down there but it's lifeless. Anyway bro, stay strong, we can do this. I think you just need more time. Long PMO has probably damaged our brain a lot more than we realise. Another note that someone pointed out to me is to not get reliant on ED meds as you may start believing you can't get hard without. I understand the temptation as when I take it I have no issues at all. Good luck.
Somewhere on here, I saw a comment that however many years you had an addiction, that's how many months clean it takes to defeat it. For me then, that'd be 15 months. I'm still maintaining my virginity so I can't help with PIED, but I feel like 95% of the addiction has been eradicated since the 10 month mark.
Cyberpunk: Yes, from what I see, it’s not enough 4 months 3 weeks and a few days of hard mode (just short of 5 months). I will continue along . Yesterday I did finally get to finish inside my girl without losing control of the ejaculation/orgasm after the BJ but still tough . The sensitivity is unreal even when I just shower and touch . Jesus . I am waiting for the moment just a sexual thought or sight makes me hard . In the mean time , I will use ED pills as needed . I know I won’t need them permanently because of my morning wood which is a good sign . Either way to Hell with porn and fapping like a pathetic loser .
I’m 35 years old . First time I looked at porn and started masturbating was at age 14. So potentially I’m looking at about 20 months (just over 1.5 years). Ok. It is what it is . I’ll do it . I’ve already done almost 5 months and it’s gone by fast . In the mean time, while I’m here with my girl, I’m going to enjoy her as much as possible because I won’t be seeing her for months after December .
Gents, I know how daunting this subject is because I sit with the same problem. I just can't get my thing to get up and I'm 22. Its so frustrating. Is seeing erotic pictures and video's messing with my progress of trying to get solid by seeing a girl personally?
Damn, it's crazy coming on here and seeing how common it is. Years ago I just assumed there was something wrong with me, I never put the pmo and ed together.. cos.. "everyone watches porn, right"
I've been on the line, every now and then I would have ED. But after a few days of NoFap I would be okay. I myself have used some pills that don't give erections, but do give harder erections when you are aroused. Those have been a huge help and I think they are way better then pills that give you erections since it still depends on your own arousal. I think you should be happy with your sensitivity. It feels good to feel so much. Yes it can be annoying to go off early, but that's just a matter of having more sex and getting used to so much feeling. If you power through and keep NoFap, you should get to a point where the visuals arouse you again. Everyones recovery is different, usually tied to how long and severe you were addicted Like mine, I am addicted, but not severe. I can bounce back from ED a few days after NoFap. That doesn't mean I am doing as well as someone on 144 days like you. I still have social anxiety, brain fog, etc.