So I was in the shower and I was looking at the fat on my crotch (losing weight so i'm seeing how much I lost and how much to go) and I got aroused without being sexual but than I felt an urge to fap so I put my hand on my penis than fought and didn't do anything else and quickly stopped the thoughts to fap. Do I have to reset and does this count to having to reset? Also If not or it is, What counts that you have to reset?
You ultimately define your terms. In my opinion however, you fought off an urge and did not M. It will be more useful in the future to stop earlier, but you are having to teach yourself a new way of thinking. Be proud that you stopped. Based on what you’ve said, I would not reset my clock. Typicially, I reset my clock the first time it pops into my head, “I should not be doing this,” and I do it anyways. Before that, it’s impulse, after that, it’s my free will choice. Your mileage may vary.
Theoretically, there are all sorts of things that can affect reboot time. But think of it like driving a car and getting good fuel efficiency. Yes, every time you press on the gas, you’re reducing your mileage, however your average fuel efficiency (mpg or L/100km depending on where you live) is ultimately determined by your habits more than individual events. Work on being in control of your feelings and urges. Don’t feed fantasies. The thoughts will hapoen, but let them pass. That will get you to your destination the smoothest.
Man I just want to get through this successfully and as soon as possible. It sucks having to deal with this.
Hey thanks for thinking through this. I really like the rule of reset meaning “I should not be doing this,” and you do it anyways.
I can sympathize. Unfortunately, a feature of addicts is that we want quick fixes. There isn't a quick fix to this. We have to completely retrain our minds to engage in healthy behaviors, and that takes time. A lot of time. What's interesting about this over the long term, is that the line should move over time. You should find that point coming earlier and earlier, which helps you to hold yourself more and more accountable. At first, it occurs when you open a video. Then it will occur when you open a page. Later, it will start when you type in the link or search, and so on. The key is to recognize those moments and maintain your personal accountability to them.